Last/First day of August

Felt like something is missing the whole day.  Wanted to cry almost.  Listening to Babyface again.  Shoulda spend today elsewhere.  Shoulda not been home to avoid some conflicts.  For some reason, home is not where I wanna be.  I miss.  And I want.  Yet, I know I gotta be patient.  So hard to do.  

Well, this is what Imma do now.  Got off the net and continue my Grey's marathon.  See ya!

I wish y'all the best for the rest of this three day weekend.  =)

Where is your can do attitude?

Long ago, I was taught to display can do attitude at all times at work.  Especially during a job interview.  I was told you have a higher chance of getting hired if you display such attitude.  True indeed.

Today, while battling my migraine at work.  I asked myself, where is my can do attitude?  Then and there I realized I've lost it.  I have lost one of the most valuable attitude.  No good, I told myself.  

What triggered me to ask  that question?  When Ribena asked me to do something he coulda done himself.  I was like WHAT?  But my mouth utter ok ok yes I'll check on that.  The angel on one of my shoulders said, it's ok, you will try your best to do though it is not your responsibility, the devil inside me said, eff that I ain't doing it.  So, I ended up unwillingly did what he had asked me to do.  After the whole ordeal, I was little disappointed at myself.  

Could not put my hands on what washed away my can do attitude.  Was it frustrations towards some aspects of life?  Or do I need a life coach?  =)  Ah~ who knows?  All I know is Imma start wearing can do attitude on dem sleeves again.  ^^  

What a long day today...  Woke up with a headache on one side, awaken because of the headache.  Kept wanting to eat all day long.  My excuse is getting my period soon.  LOL.  By the way, my M.I.A friend is finally back on da net.  We are glad and happy that she's fine.  =)  

As I'm writing this entry, I am also writing an email to my ex.  As I'm writing to my ex, I am also tearin up...  Sometimes somethings are just a bit too late...

Things that make me go ah~

Fresh air after storm.

Take time to listen, take time to look.

Friends dropping me messages.  

Kiss and make up.  Which sometimes feels like gone to hell and back again.

Pay Day.

Talking to Erin.  

Goin crazy laughin while stuck in rush hour.

Make up sex.

Laughing because things my coworker said at work.

Rain drops of the falling rain.

Playing with sister.

Wear heels to work.

Taking pictures.  

bEEr on one hand, babe's hand on another.

Wanted to blog about what I've observed in town while waiting for baby to be done with groceries.  Uh huh, I was waiting in da car coz it was raining so heavy out.  But nah, I'm just too distracted by my sister and I couldn't concentrate.  Been thinking about babe all day long.  He said that I've got his heart stolen...  lol.  I think it is the other way around!  

I hope you like this picture.  I hope it will bring peace into your mind coz it did for me.   

Pictures I wanna show you long ago

My lovely creation


This is what the twinnies look like when heavy rain falls

Bukit Bintang woh

We don't usually come here. Jalan Bukit Bintang. The vibe this place sent out is not pleasant. Yea, many tourists come here, so are the illegal immigrants. I don't know what they do here, some pick pockets, some sell cheap brand names faker, and some just sit and watch (like me).

I am here at Starbucks, ordered Java Chip Frap (whipped cream on top), something I haven't have in a LONG LONG LONG time. I chose to take a sit inside where the glass wall separates me and the noisy, hot, dirty world. Dirty because ppl smoke, ppl litter, ppl spit, ppl having bad intentions toward another living creature.

Don't understand why there is always crowd at this place. Traffic is horrible, parking is always limited. Ppl why are you here? I got no choice but to be here. Work. The event doesn't start til 300pm. Well, I was here at 1155am. Waiting.

Aside from all my complaints. I am grateful for this little downtime for me to sit down and enjoy!

Looks better in B&W.

Happy Saturday peeps!

Thought I'd squeeze in a little entry before I have to head our for work.

My friend has gone M.I.A.  No emails from her.  No reply of our texts.  No reply of calls.  No updates on her myspace page.  She's deleted her facebook account.  NADA.  We know she's probably busy trying get everything packed and move.  But girl, we miss you and you need to at least let us know you're still very much alive!  

Ain't cool not to let us in on things.  You might not give a damn.  But we care.

Wooh, about time for reggae groove and some 420's AND the fastest man on earth baby!

It feels like spring time in winter

As I was driving home late night last night. Babyface was on the radio... I carefully listened to his lyrics and OMG I thought. After how many times I've heard this song, only now I listened to it carefully. It says:

It feels like spring time in winter
It feels like christmas in june
It feels like heaven has opened up its gates for me and you

And every time I close my eyes
I thank the lord that
Ive got you
And youve got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself cause
I dont believe its true
That someone like you
Loves me too

Girl, I think that youre truly somethin
And youre, youre every bit of a dream come true
With you baby, it never rains and its no wonder
The sun always shines when Im near you
Its just a blessing that I have found somebody like you

To think of all the nights
Ive cried myself to sleep
You really oughtta know
How much you mean to me
Its only right that you be in my life right here with me
Oh baby, baby

Tears filled up my eyes. This song is simple yet so beautifully written, the person who wrote it definitely knows the right words to get to your heart and mine.

In love.
What comes into your mind when you see it? It gives me this old school feel.

Tell me again

Why do ppl watch soccer? 22 wussies running around on the field chasing one ball. I called them what I call em because have you seen them rolling on the grass looking greatly in pain?? And the next minute, they are up and running as if it never happened. That's totally acting, hoping the referee would call foul on the opposing team. If ya wanna act, GO TO Hollywood!!! Football field is for true sportsmen.

OK, I admit I am bias. Oh yea, and maybe I don't know how to appreciate their "footwork". But c'mon rolling on grass and pretend you're injured? What the eff sport is that?

I still love my football y'all. CHICAGO BEARS all DA WAY!!!!

My baby better not be reading this blog. He'd be pissed off. Well, tonight we were watching semifinal btw Argentina and Brazil. Outta the blue...

He said: I remember you said you'll never love soccer.

I said: Yes, I'll never love soccer. You think I'll be sitting here watching this if you're not here?

He said: Yea, if I'm not here you'd be watching Gymnastics. Why are you watching this then? What will motivates you to watch soccer?

I said: Baby, you're the ONLY reason I would watch soccer.

He said: Maybe with time, after you watch more games with me you will like it.

I said: Yea...

Anywho, Argentina scored 3-0 against Brazil. They will be playing Nigeria on this Sat night. ^^

Of course you may argue who's more of a pussy. Men in TIGHT pants and shoulder pads or Men that ACT on football field instead of being real???

Soccers aside. I am so so so happy to see babe tonight. Love you more baby. :p

I still don't understand how could ppl go crazy for soccer? Like tonight, 45 mins into the game, there was still no score on the board. To me that means no action going on. yuck.

My baby not be reading this entry.

Sempurna -- Andra & The Backbone

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

YOU GUYS!!! You've probably heard this song on the radio quite often if you live in Malaysia. I've heard this song a few times before I get the chance to steal it. ^^ Such a beautiful don't you think? For y'all that don't understand, I apologize. I will find time to roughly translate it.

*update
ROUGH Translation:

You are perfect
In my eyes, you're so beautiful
You made me think about you always

Every step I take
I will always think of you
I cannot imagine my life without your love

Don't you leave me
I can't go through life without you
It is only you I'm able

You are my inspiration
You are my heart
You are my life
You completes me
Oh my love, you are
Perfect... Perfect...

You hold my hand
Whenever I am weak and I fell
You whisper into my ear and all the regrets disappearred

Don't you leave me
I can't go through life without you
It is only you I will

You are my inspiration
You are my heart
You are my life
You completes me
Oh my love, you are
Perfect... Perfect...

Travel safe

An old friend of mine will be moving from Washington DC to be stationed in Okinawa, flying out this saturday and he left me a message on Myspace.  I'd consider we go way back when, I was only 21.  Seems like a long time ago.  He hasn't always been with me, emotionally he was there.  No matter where he was, no matter where I have been.  I miss you dearly.  

He will be there for 24 months.  I told him, after August 15th we have no excuse not to talk on the phone, at least we'll be in closer time zone.  Let's not talk about long distance relationship, but this friendship between me and him definitely works!  =)  We also always have a thing for each other forever and ever...  

He's always asked me how come I never made it to DC to see him...  I have no answer to that.

He was in Chicago only a few days after I left... sob

Fate went into over drive...

Well he'll be around here for a few more years.  I'm sure I'll see him again!

This is to you babe.

Travel safe.    

Update:  He arrived safe and sound in Oki.  

Bed time

Did plan to write an entry tonight.  But I'm just toooooo tired to function.  So good night y'all!

Bernie Mac R.I.P.

He left, just like that.  He was only 50.  He was funny.  He was genius as a comedian.  Bernie Mac passed away last Saturday due to pneumonia...  

I just found out he was dead reading our local chinese newspaper...  When I saw the little column, I kept repeating oh my god oh my god.  I knew he was in the hospital, totally didn't see this coming...  We've seen his comedy standups, we've seen his sitcom, we've seen him in movies.  R.I.P. you will always be remembered.

He was from Chicago.

Sunday II

Uh huh!  I am back!  Before I said anything, my pod is sick...  How can an ipod be sick?  He is not responding to me...  =(  Worst yet, I don't have money to replace him.  So now,  I'm blogging with no MUSIC!  

*Update:  my pod calmed down and he's back to work.  ^^

Anywho, the Macaroni and Cheese is a success.  It's the kind from scratch not from a Kraft box.  LOL.  Everyone loved it.  =)  I am happy enough.  

Tension is building up because my work is not done.  Yet, I'm wondering if I should see my baby tomorrow.  Hmm...  What is this work all about anyways?  I am lost.  On another thought, my hair is getting so long.  The image of me changing job flashes through my mind countless times.  Mankind's true self is so ugly, I want to puke.   People lied with they eyes wide open, someone like Tang (a grown ass man).  Honesty and fairness???  When I heard those words came out from his mouth, I wanted to bust out laughing.  How dare he used the word honesty and fairness, total bull.  Honest to who?  or was it your selective fairness??

Wow wow wow, this entry went from happy to pissed off!  My thought flew over to Chicago, thinking wouldn't it be nice to have spent my 2008 summer there?  It would have been my third (or was it fourth?) year living in the most beautiful city.  A lot of you might not like how America is...  However, it has a special place in my heart.  Always.  

See how my mood fluctuates?  Scary.  That's why I need my baby to tame the bitch inside me.  My baby will not allow me to act up.  =)  Gosh, my hair is getting longer!!!!  Maybe I should keep it til it hits my waist.  About six more inches to go, I think...  Hehehe.    

Will end this now and make it an early night for me.  

Adios!

Sunday I

Totally didn't really do what I planned to do.  Instead I cleaned my room, put my winter clothes away (finally got around to do it).  Early today, me and sis went to MV to get ingredients for today's dinner.  Like I said previously I am gonna make macaroni and cheese.  We had a big lunch there, curry meehon kuey teow for me, fried kuey teow for sis.  Drinks I had bubble tea and she had herbal tea, iced!  Muahahaha.  Full full by now.  We didn't shop around for too long coz I told my dad we would go home as soon as we're done.  Actually reached home at 1230pm, broke the record!!!  LOL.  

You guys, I tried working on my proposal that's due on Tuesday.  Nothing presenting worthy yet.  Sigh.  Guess I'm a true last minute girl.  If it was a last minute thing, my brain juices will keep flowing unlike now, writing a blog instead of working?!  

Today is a great day so far, tho weather is a bit on the hot side but I have no complains.  I love the feeling of a lazy sunday afternoon.  =)  Where I get to clean my room!!!!!  Oh before I forget, I wanna shout out to my baby sis.  Mei, thank you for being such a fun person to be around!!  You're silly, you're humorous, you're fun, you're talented, you're lovely...

Friend Kuey Teow... RM 6.30

Herbal Tea...  RM 2.00

Earrings... RM 4.20

Hanging out with mei... PRICELESS

It is about 3:31pm.  I shall take a shower to cool my bod.  =)  

Still is August 9th 2008

As I was plucking my eyebrows and listening to Natalie Cole, so many thoughts ran through my mind.  

Uno:  Someone from my past called me twice today using private numbers.  I didn't pick up because I know it's him.  There is nothing more to say or to do getting me back...

Dos:  Someone was in a little bit of crisis today and I didn't manage to call her up.  I feel deeply sorry.  She is my best friend, I couldn't even be there for her, call her, talk to her.

Tres:  The reason why I couldn't get in touch with her...  I was stuck in this STUPID "save the earth" exhibition.  Gosh, how I wish my parents didn't force me to tag along.  The event, I have four words for them: good intention, HORRIBLE planning.

Cuatro: When can some of us really learn how to let go of something we couldn't control?  Why some of us are just so dense in the head?  How old are you now?  How many times have you been through this?  AND ya still didn't learn.

Cinco:  I enjoyed today very much.  Get to watch TV undisturbed.  Did the channel cruising thing.  Finally settled on The X-file (old) and KLS: Life in the fab lane marathon.  I absolutely love this show.

Sies:  Tomorrow got so so much to do.  My sister requested (pizza or macaroni & cheese, or spaghetti or macaroni salad) that I will cook for her.  I have this proposal to be finished!!!!!  UGGHHHHH!!!!  For work of course.  In other words, I get to stay home all day tomorrow YEAY! 

Siete:  Pray for Rina, Erin, Heay Jason and baby.  Hoping they could be as strong as they can be.  Hoping Jason would choose to go back to Saipan.  Wishing baby all the happiness in the world.

Ocho:  2008 Olympic Opening Ceremony in Beijing was FANTASTIC!  It got me so excited.  I get to see the countries (ppl) that I've never heard.  Hey, I want to wish our very own athletes all the best.  I know there are only 27 of y'all but you know you're the best in what you do.  =)  No one could take that away from you.  Just believe.  Special shout out to our Badminton players!!!!  Make ya mama proud.  ^^  

Nueve: Karma is a BITCH.  Watch out peeps.  

08.08.08

People from all over the world has been waiting on this day's arrival.  It is here now.  

We shall see...

How can you mend a broken heart?

How can I ever thank them enough?  What can I do to show them my appreciation?  I believe buying them teh ice every afternoon is not enough.  They are always there for me.  Even when they don't really wanna hear from me.  LOL.  Someone describe me as the rose amongst thorns...  If it wasn't for them, how could I ever be that rose?  Oh yea, I am not talking about Ribena and Tang.  

They are my bunch of joy.  They are my cheer leaders.  They are my family.  As long as we work together, we will stick together, just like families do.  

I felt sad this evening.  I wish I didn't have to choose between my family and my love.  On top of that, my baby told me tonight, he said I love you so much and I'm very happy to be with you, but you never have enough time for me...  There is not one guy who have said this to me.  It will usually be me smothering them, it will usually be me take up too much of their personal space.  It definitely is different this time around.  My baby told me, he is glad that he'd discovered me.  My baby told me, his life is complete because of me.  There is not one guy who have said it to me.  He said to me, baby there will be a time where you have to leave your family to make your own...  I said I know.  Ray said he doesn't know what he'll be without me.  But I know deep down, he will do just fine without me...  I also know, men have change of hearts quicker than they drop they boxers.  We'll never know.  If he sees this, he'll surely be pissed off.  =)  My babe. 

How can you mend a broken heart?  This is D song I listened to when I was dumped at the age of 19.  Over and over again.  Cried to it countless times.  Thinking to myself, who can mend my broken heart?  Will kicking the shit out of him make it better? Haha~  It all seems so silly now.  As we age, our "mending" process get more refine as well.  Dontcha think?  One question I would never ask again is why?  This is the question no one should ever ask.  =)  I learned that when someone stop loving you, asking why will not speed up you mending process.  I learned that when someone stop loving you, asking why will not make that person love you again.  

12:26am.  Signaling time for bed.  Feel better will ya?

Heaven -- Jamie Foxx

Tell me have you heard the story
That took place not long ago
Bout an angel up in heaven
They say she up and ran away from home

Word is she had unfinished business
So back on earth she had to flee
Well you know I'm so elated
Because she's laying right here next to me

And when God woke up that morning
And he called out her name
And when she did not answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the same

Always dreamed that it would happen
I just didn't know exactly when
All my life I'd been waiting for something amazing
Said it took a while but now I know
So tell me can I get a witness
If you believe in miracles
And the proof I have is living
And my life will never ever be
And your life don't have to be the...

At times it seems we take for granted
How precious life can be...ooh ooh yeah
Just hold on and I'm sure you'll understand it
Bringing into this world
A precious boy or a girl and when God
woke up that morning
Said where did my little angel go
And when she didn't an...answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the....same
Yeah....Yeah

Playlist is on repeat, yet again.  Tonight I'll be going to bed with this song...  Night!

What's the fuss???

My Gmail status quote:"I'm sick of this shit".  

What am I sick of?  

People putting poison in what they say.  

Going through this* every month!!!!!!!!  Puta, worse than a woman's PMS.  

*As in Tang asking so what do you do everyday at work?  Like shit you don't know what we have to do everyday.  Do we have to tell you every month????  And Tang saying he ain't satisfied with our work performance.  Well honey, loads of shit that we do you don't even know what's going on.  Also, now that someone is gone from our team, Ribena's performance is total shit too.  Why don'tcha go talk to you little sidekick.

Hmm...  Apparently Tang "found out" that someone check they private email at work.  I admit that person is fucking me.  And I also know Ribena is the one who told Tang!  So I do, I check my emails at work.  I do do other things at work.  However, I have a god damn valid reason to do so.  I NEED TO GET MY MIND OFF WORK.  There!  

To me it's like c'mon.  We are all grown adults, old ppl even.  If you have something to say, please say in it in my fucking face.  There is no need to get through... hmm say two ppl to pass on the message.  Plus, you will give me a chance to throw it right back atcha!  Stupid.  

Back to the story.  Ya seriously think Imma be at work for EIGHT hours a day and don't check my personal email????  I know I know, ya expect me to read up work related crap for self improvement yadda yadda.  Well let me put it out there.  If you want to have SANE employees, you just better keep ya mouth zipped.  Plus, we don't get our ONE hour lunch EVERYDAY stated on contract anyways....  We didn't complain about that to your face, so what's the fuss Tang?  Moreover, you didn't pay us one and one half for our OT.  Did we complain about it?  NOOOOOOO.  So what's the fuss Tang?  We didn't complain about your unpredictable mood swings, so what's the fuss Tang?  We didn't complain about you being swayed by someone, so what's the fuss?  

I wanna love again-- Natalie Cole

Ah baby
How do I start? Where do I begin?
I've been hurt so much. I just need a friend
Could it be you? Will you break through these walls?
Are you willing to help them fall?

Chorus:
I want to love again, but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want love again and this time with you

I didn't know that this would be so hard for me
Being this close to you is driving me crazy
My mind says no oh but my body says yes
You make one move and I'll do the rest

I want to love again, but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want to love again and this time with you

Bridge:
Oh it's been so long since I've seen your face
And I'm just trying to be strong, oh but I think about you everyday
And it makes me weak when I see your face
I guess it means I'm in a different space
Cause I wanna love again and this time with you

I want to love again but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle, gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want to love again, please let me love again, I want to love again
And this time with you
I just wanna love again with you

I am feeling this song, brought lil tears to my eyes.  First heard this song from a movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman.  Beautiful movie, if you haven't, please spend some time watching this movie.  It came out back in 2005 or 2006 I can't remember.  It makes ya laugh, it makes ya heart melt, it makes ya angry, it makes ya wanna dance,  it makes me realize I can forgive...  Hey, no worries, you ain't gotta be black to understand this movie k?  =P  If you're a woman that has gone through a lot, you will feel what I feel.  Ain't gon say nothin about if men could understand...  lol.  =)

Best to be in bed by now.  So I will see y'all later.  I'm gonna make it a point to be up early tomorrow, I mean today.  And I'm real excited coz I get to have lunch with Effa!!!!!  YEAY!!!  =)  Haven't seen her in a while yo.  Got lotsa ketchup to do. 

Oh yea of course, I saw my baby today.  He asked me questions.  Baby when you want to get married?  Will you marry me within this year?  I know we're getting older and all but I honestly have no idea when to get married????  and for that matter, why do you marry someone?  Just coz you love him/her?  Just coz that's what you're suppose to do?  Man, I got no clue.  Ngeh, let's not worry about it until I have to cross that bridge.  That's if I ever get the chance to cross the marriage bridge.  Hmm...

NIGHT!

Pictures

Hmm... After we had bfast at Pelita.


Zaidi said I look nice in this picture. Hehehe


Me, Gary and Hanafi.


@ Saisaki, farewell dinner for Mak!


GO TEAM!


The best ice kacang in the world. From Kampar.


Me and mie at Lumut. Getting ready to get in da pool yo.


Mie and me playing around with my camera.


Love Fannie May's chocolate

ah fuck it

Ain't got nothing to talk about!  

Ppl talk about food, I don't eat.  

Ppl talk about traveling, I don't travel. 

Ppl talk about good books, I don't read.  

Ppl talk about charity, I don't care.  

Ppl talk about friend, I didn't find time to hang out with them.  

Ppl talk about politics, I don't give a damn about it.   

Ppl talk about workout regime, I don't move.

Ppl talk about talking about something, I ran outta things to talk about!

Alright guys, this is about the lamest I could get.  CUT AND PASTE TIME!  This is the usual questionnaire that I get from Myspace and I am presenting this to you now...  =)  Get to know me more like never before.  Enjoy.

.....................................................................................
Spell your name backwards
Ashay.  Hey not bad at all.  COuld be a real name!

Last time you said "I love you" to someone more then just a friend?
just now

What did you buy last?
meds

What were you doing an hour ago?
WORKING

How do you feel about gay marriage?
I don't feel anything

Are you racist?
sometimes

Last IM from?
haven't been on for days now.

What did it say?

Song you listening too?
not right now, I'm at work

Type up a line from the song
I kissed a girl and I liked it!

Where are you?
at work

Was your last ex worth it?
It was worth it while it lasts.

Are you feeling anyone?
I'm feeling my baby

Your motto?
Shut up and JUST DO.

Time?
1:04pm

Last person to tell you they liked you more then a friend?
My baby

What is going through your head?
Ache

Do you keep your promises?
I try to

Last person you talked to on the phone?
My mama

Why are you doing this?
Just to take my mind off work.

What kind of shirt you wearing?
work clothes K

Favorite candy?
chocolates, I KNOW CHOC is not a CANDY BUT I could CARELESS

Ever had any type of sexual intercourse?
Hmm.... maybe

One thing you wanna tell someone:
I love you baby

WHY U HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF?
lol coz life is tough

Do you ever wonder how other people see you?
not really

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home?
out out out

What was the last thing that you drank?
water, but later Imma have me some ice tea with condensed milk

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it?
LOL tell me about it

Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
no

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
just feel like it

Who was the last person you threw out of your life?
eh

How many hours did you sleep last night?
shit like six only

Are you talkative?
yup yup yup coz i'm the only girl in da office

Last person who saw you?
my coworkers, we will be here til 73opm

In the past week have you felt stupid?
yeah when my boss asked me to write this STUPID email to our US HQ

In the past week have you gone to the pool or the beach?
no...... so sad

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
nope

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
=)

Are you in a relationship, single, "talking" to someone, complicated, married, or engaged?
I'm like not engaged LOL

Do you have a flip or slide phone?
slide phone. flip phone is so three years ago.
LOL

Have you ever broken someones heart?
nah

What is your relationship with the last person you kissed?
he takes care of me, I do his laundry those type of relationship.

Do you wish someone would call you right now?
nope, i'm working

Who was the last person you stayed up on the phone till 2am?
My baby Ray

How do you feel about the last person that called you?
no one called me

Have you ever been in handcuffs?
NOPE

Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than five minutes?
Ray Ray

Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with C?
NOPE

What was the last piece of clothing you bought?
two dresses

If MySpace starts making you pay, would you still use it?
NOPE

Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex?
no hair!!!!!!!

Who is your number one on MySpace and why?
lol i don't remember who's my number one

Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
would that help me to give a good blow job? I don't think so, so no.

Have you had sex with any of your best friends?
no no no

How is your room looking?
my room is looking great

Do you toss and turn for hours at night or fall right to sleep?
fall right to sleep baby. i make myself very tired then i go sleep.

Have you ever used a bow and arrow?
once long long time ago

Has anyone ever hung up on you?
hell yea

What is it you truly want right now?
truly want happiness and health for my fams and friends and my baby

Whens the last time you got a flower?
whoa, can't remember

Is your family a bundle of fun?
yea

Do you laugh at all the wrong times?
no

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
no

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my coworkers

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
OF COURSE

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
how can they hate me for no reason? there must be something

Do you drink tea?
tea with condensed milk on ice

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
depends

Have you ever been out past curfew?
FUCK, dont remind me of fucking curfew

Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately?
yes, my fam

What was the last book you read?
can't remember, it's been a while since I read something

Can you make brownies without having to look at the directions?
of couse, you can't fuck a brownie up

Do you watch a lot of TV?
aint got time

Are you tanned?
not anymore

Are you afraid of falling in love?
sometimes

Do you think you are an argumentative person?
yes.

Was last weekend a good one?
very much so, tho my baby is sick but i get to take care of him

Have you ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs?
LOL

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
I give dirty looks ALL THE TIME.

What is in your pockets?
no pockets today

Can you cook?
a few dishes

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
no

Last restaurant you went to?
Can't remember.
FUCKING RINA WENT TO MY FAV RESTAURANT W/O INVITING ME!!!!!

Have you ever crawled through a window?
NOPE

Where were you at 1AM sunday morning?
blogging

Ever kissed someone over 30?
yes ^^ I still remember they names and they kisses

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
more than what's in them black hole

Have you ever dyed your hair?
yea long time ago

How's your heart lately?
heartaches. so much things im missing out on other ppl's lives.

will this weekend be a good one?
this coming weekend. we'll see when we get there ya.


Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
no i don't.
I like to show off my womanly figure def not by wearing mens clothes

Do you have any weird inside jokes?
i dont know

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
HELL YEAH.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
dont think about him all that much

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
hehe neighbours

Does anyone call you babe?
baby when he talks to me, babe when he texts.

What was the highlight of this week or what will be?
nothin

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
not yet ;) proly not today. I wanna go home early to chill.

Who will you see the most this weekend besides family?
Ray Ray

How late did you stay up last night and why?
One in da morning. Chatting and blogging.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
BOTH.

Have you cried today at all?
No honey, I have no reason to. I cried yesterday tho while talking to my baby about something that happened in the past.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
sleeping mother fuckers.

Do you want to get married & have children one day?
I do.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex that you talked to?
Ray Ray

Are you going to have a good night?
yes sir

Do you trust all of your friends?
Do YOU trust ALL of your friends???

Are you happy?
Now I'm stressed out.

Last year today...

What if there is no aches and pains in this world?  Hmmm...  If there is no aches and pains we will not know what joy and pleasure is?  

The pain of leaving home...  The pain of leaving your second home to come back to your first home...  The heartache of leaving great friends behind you to embark on a new journey knowing that you can no longer share so closely with them...  The pain of opening up to new people... 

Last year today, I finally reached home from Chicago.  

I remember saying goodbye to Ewelina Kalinowska, still pretending that we would see each other the following monday, our usual hang out day...

I remember smelling like the stinkin cabin when my family came to pick me up from KLIA, 

I remember finding a job in September, 

I remember celebrating new year at home, 

I remember Kimmy visited me in February,

I remember finding another job in April,

I remember singing Over You on top of my lungs,

I remember finding Ray in May,

I remember my gruesome June,

I remember special events that took place in July,

And now it is August 4th 2008.  

Amongst those "I remember" so many, many, many, heartaches and heartbreaks took place.  That's why I was wondering what if there is no aches and pains?  I guess I would be a much happier person to live my life.  A quick shout out to Heay.  Thanks for replying to the questions that I've thrown out there a few entries ago. ^^  I am happy that you are glad to be alive!   I love they way you love and live life. =)

Well guys, celebrate this day with me.  ok?  August 4th.

Baby, Beer and Cheezels

Tonight baby asked what would I like for drinks.  I answered with beer please without much thought.  He was in shock!  Coz I've always been refusing alcohol.  Alcohol is bad for your liver peeps!  LOL  We went out to get some booze.  It gets kinda scary when you crave for alcohol ya? We got three 40oz and a whisky.  Errr no the whisky ain't for me.  I was enjoying my 40oz and my baby and didn't forget to have some Cheezels!

By the way guys, I haven't found my favorite Miller Genuine Draft in Malaysia.  Until then, I'll have to make do with good ol Carlsberg.  Hmm...  

Baby has ear infection since Thursday, he was not in the best of moods, he couldn't eat, yet he REFUSED to go see a doctor even when I offered to take him!!!  Luckily today I managed to get him ear drops and Ibuprofen, after a few drops in the ear, he's all better and happier.  Get well soon babe, I don't wanna see you in pain no more.  

Guys, my beer is kickin in.  I'm feelin sleepy.  Talk more later! 

Chat with dad

Yeesh came home late as usual, around 1130pm. I was fucking speeding so that I could lay my head down sooner.  Well look at what I'm doing now??  Anywho, my dad is still up watching TV because this man cannot sleep.  =)  I dropped my bag and keys and started munching on homemade wholemeal buns.  So I started telling my dad how my day went, how Hanafi and I were swamped with phone calls and unfinished business, how we didn't get the chance to sort out tasks leftover from our weekend event like COUNTING STOCKS!!!!  Oopps, I may be saying too much here.  God knows who's reading.  My dad also started telling me stories about his work during younger days, how he got the nerves to talk to his boss the way he did (straight up no bull).  I asked my dad weren't you afraid you'll lose your job?  He said he knew his boss wouldn't.  Stories aside, I felt so so so nice to have chatted with my dad.  My dad is AWESOME!  I mean he is really good in what he's doing even when he was young!!!!!!  Things he said to his boss makes me wish I could talk to my boss the way he did.  He will deliver his point even if it means making the boss looks bad in front of clients.  WHOA!  At last I said to my dad, wow I need a few LONG years to speak with skills like yours.  He replied me with don't be worrying about the sky falling down because even if it does, you alone cannot carry it...  Oh oh oh during our conversation, he also said I will not lose sleep over things I cannot change nor control.  For example, his boss's stupid decisions!  LOL.  

There are so many ways in looking at life.  Some people choose to be engage in very single moment.  Some people choose to let life flow.  What did you choose?  

p.s.  A very very very funny quote for you "I don't have down syndrome...  I'm ASIAN"  I laughed my ass off when I saw this quote.  Funny ha ha.  =)

p.p.s.  As I'm writing this, babyface is on my playlist.  LOVES IT!  Wanna dedicate this song to you all.  Where Will You Go-- Babyface.  

August 1st 2008

I know you love hearing that story over and over again.  The story about what happened when we met for the first and second time.  LOL.  Tonight, you made me tell this story again.  It makes my heart goes ah~~ when I saw the look on your face, in your eyes while listening to me...  ;)  I love you baby.  I also apologized to you every time I tell this story.  Coz it reminds me of how mean and what a bitch I was to you...  

Tonight you said, baby thank you for giving me a chance to be with you.  I said thank you baby for giving me time and allowing me to know you.  Like you've always said, with time... we'll understand each other more...  Baby you thought me to slow down, stop, look, and listen.  Mankind these days are used to fast pace lives, I am one of them, still.  But you made me make time to listen to you, I was so impatient sometimes I don't even care to let you finish what you have to say.  Now, I do.  Being able to open heart, open mind and listen to someone is not a gift, it is a skill.  I thank you for introducing it to me and I still got a lot to learn, please bare with me k baby?    

I asked you once and only once, why do you love me?  You said baby I love you the first time I saw you.  =)  I guess that was why you kept asking me do I believe in love at first sight.  I was so stupid then, I didn't get your hint hint.  LOL.  I kept telling you, NO NO NO, who still believes in love at first sight?  Apparently that person is you... 

I'm sure that this road will not be easy for us.  No matter how hard this road would be, I'm glad that you will be the one walking next to me...

I love you babe