Scientific Research

Research according to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary it means "studious inquiry or examination; especially : investigation or experimentation aimed at the discovery and interpretation of facts, revision of accepted theories or laws in the light of new facts, or practical application of such new or revised theories or laws"
I have a lot of respect for researchers and the people who carries out researches and experiments. Since I started this job at MUST, I learned that I have to learn and know how to extract RNAs, plant's RNA in particular and real time RT-Polymerase Chain Reaction amongst other fun things. Well I had some extraction practices using Heay's E. coli. But today was my first time extracting plant RNA from O. rufipogon, one of the rice strains. The result? Not as good as it could have been. First of all, my rice leaves weren't fresh from plant. It is very important to have fresh leaves to work with when dealing with RNA due to rapid degradation of RNA. Second, when I had to grind up my rice leaves, I found out that I was running low on liquid nitrogen. So my grinding didn't went well. Lastly (at least I hope that's my last mistake), maybe I wasn't gentle enough and cautious when pipetting my sample and reagents. The suction created by pipetting might actually tear apart those fragile RNA structures. *The electrophoresis gel shows that there were a lot of degradation of RNA. So one (in this case, ME) MUST pipette samples gently. Then after the process I have to run the RNA through an electrophoresis gel and quantify it using a spectrophotometer. On top of all that my boss won't be in for today and tomorrow so who can I go to for answers??
Back to my point, my respect for those people for do researches for a LIVING and INTEREST and PASSION and LOVE for science. So today I only did RNA extraction for ONE strain of rice. Can you imagine if I have to repeat this experiment for say ten more strains of rice? And that the result you get is not always what you want to see? And you have to troubleshoot if there's anything wrong with the results? Oh by the way, that person, who has to work with ten or more rice strains, will be me in about three to four months time. I will have plenty of rice strains to work with since Imma start germinating and planting them today!
Wish me luck ppl!

PS. Oh yea and a Happy New Year!!!!!
PPS. Just in case you just realized that you have to buy me my burfday present. Just a book will do! =P LOL.

A trip down memory lane

Now imagine you live in the city, you work in the city. Every single day you can smell the damn city. For just one weekend you are free to go somewhere, where there has nothing to do with the busy/stinky life of a city... and simply be close the the nature. No no we're not going to the beach, we are heading to the mountainous side of my country. Yes I was out of town with my family for the past weekend and a Monday =) to Kampar and Ipoh, Perak in Malaysia. I am happy to go and really glad that we changed our plan from the beach to old town Kampar.
Our family has special feelings for Kampar and Ipoh. My mother and her siblings was born and raised in Kampar until they had to move away to begin new life. Myself was born in Ipoh and spent two years of my life in Kampar being real close to my grandparents. It is the most wonderful feeling to live near them. I remember my mother telling me how sometimes my grandparents would wait for me outside the kindergarten to fetch me home. =)


This is the infamous house number 75. My grandparents had lived here I guess I can say "forever". Before my grandmother left us to go to heaven, we will always gather here to celebrate Chinese New Year. In this little house is where my mother and her six other siblings grew up!


Another view of the house. Yes the house is tiny but it's got everything you need inside =)


On our way to Kampar passing by Bernam Jaya exit. This is our major highway running from North Malaysia to South Malaysia, vice versa.


Doesn't it take your breath away? You won't get this in the city.


More mountains.

After we checked in to our hotel and refreshed ourselves. We took a tour around Kampar town. Totally brought back old memories...

Main street of Kampar.


See that temple back there. When I was about 6, my classmates would tell me stories that happened this temple. And we would sneak outta school during lunch time to come to this temple to pray. My school is next to this temple, it was just a staircase away...


I don't remember much about this bus station. But it was where my mother and her siblings went to to take buses home.


On the second day of our visit, we took local route up to Ipoh instead of taking the highway simply because we could see more. On both sides of the road we can see kampung (village), Malay style houses, lushes trees & mountains, durian stands (where people sell and eat durians), coconut trees and etc. These following photos are taken at fruit stand. We decided to swing by to get some fruits before reaching my grandparents cemetery.


These are rambutan, has clear flesh like longan, tastes sweet & a little sour, has it own fragrance. Yum.


Heay and I posing with bananas.


Erm... not too sure whats it called in English. Never tasted it either...
**I found out what this is from my boss. The name is Soursop, same family as Noni fruit. ^^


Yea this too. I got no names for it... Looks creepy I know. The green round fruit at the top hanging is called Pamelo. I can tell ya it definitely tastes better than grape fruit! ^^ TEAM PAMELO!!!! LOL.

After we visited our grandparents where they rested in peace. We found our way to this nice old lady's house in Ipoh. She is our grandpa's father's brother's wife. Tho she is at the age of 90, she speaks with wit and is very funny! Oh and she is still very alert, good memory and had the energy to entertain us for three hours straight, no afternoon nap no coffee break, nothing. =) Tho that was my first time meeting her, I am hoping it will not be the last either...

That's her sitting next to me. =)

During this trip, we obviously ate a lot and gained a few pounds but it is all worthy. If you want to see some photos of the foods, you could probably visit Heay's blog at yinkheay.blogspot.com. And now I would like to end this blog with this picture. This is what I'll always remember when I think of Kampar & Ipoh. La familia.

I wish you get what you want for Christmas too.

You know how I was patiently waiting for my Christmas gifts to arrive. So yesterday I got home as usual. Said hi to my mother and auntie and when I'm about to walk up stairs to take a shower I spotted two boxes sitting on one of our tables at home. I quickly ran over and take a look at the boxes and both of them are addressed to me!!! I jumped up and down, asking my mother how could she not tell me that my gifts have arrived? Mind you I spoke to her on the phone early yesterday when I was at work! And she said "oh I forgot to tell you".
I'm a very impatient person, I didn't waste one second to open my presents. And so I did. I'm stoked yo!!! I got exactly what I wanted for Christmas, Hawaiian style slippers, my undies from GAP, the Post Secret book, snacks from Hawaii, University of Hawaii's apparel AND my best friend Rina include a flip flop book marker in my book. She said that she couldn't get me real slippers therefore she got me this really cute book marker. Thoughtful and wonderful eh? And Carol, she is awesome! She sent me a Hawaiian Christmas card. I'll take picture of it and show it to you. Trust me, its not like you can just get them in your local Hallmark store. It is only available in Hawaii! =)
They totally made my day, my week and my month!!! I am blessed to have them in my life after years of friendship. It is not about the gifts at all (Well of course the gifts make it extra special). It is about things that we do for our best friends... Awww I miss and I love you guys so much....

*You might wonder, why is this chick asking for a pair of slippers for Christmas? The answer is I don't like what they are selling here in KL. AND they usually don't have my size because of my gigantic feet. Muahahahah.
**Erin in case you are reading this. Don't worry about the package gettin here before Christmas. I'll be just as happy no matter what or when. =) Love you!

To serve or not to serve?

For those of you out there deciding to put your foot forward to study overseas and those whom are already out there doing your thing. Have you ever thought of where your future would be? Or where do YOU want YOUR future to be?

If you have read my previous blog, you would know that I'd lived outside of my country for a number of years... I had also contemplated over and over again if I should move back to the place where I was born and raised, by having "I want serve my own people" in my mind*. Though I had made the decision to return home. I still question myself from time to time... Well more so after my boss and some of my friends lay this question over me. "Why did you came back?*" I think about who am I serving because I worked at WIC clinic for almost two years in Chicago. Serving Chicagoans everyday, helping women and children there to live a healthful life and helping babies to have a greater chance of surviving. While I should be carin' and servin' "my kind". I know I know, we are all the same, it doesn't matter where we are from and what do we look like. But I bear this conscience day in and out. So, I came back and the obvious reason, my family is here.

*With that my boss raised a very good Q. Do the people that you served appreciate what you have done for them?

I think it is very important for you to think ahead how would you answer these Qs. Did you go overseas to study and get the hell out? OR use it as an excuse to get their PR and eventually serving their people?? Yes people change and things change. You might think this at the beginning and change your mind to that after N number of years... However, it is good to put some thought into it now. So that it wouldn't be such a struggle later on. Some people managed to abandon everything (circle of friends, networks, credit history, way of life, financial benefits, etc) they put together throughout their college lives and go home. Some people cannot. Some people went home, hit a few walls (hard ones), and eventually left again... Who would you be?

Patiently waiting for you

This book.

I saw this book on TV last year (really interesting story behind this book), so I went to Barnes and Nobles to flip through it and I absolutely love it. But didn't get a chance to buy it due to shortage of financial support.


This wristlet.

A wristlet, every girls' must have. Best for clubbing use ^^. And it doesn't hurt when it looks so gorgeous. Hehehe.


This particular snack from Hawaii.

One of my favorite snacks besides Lays chips(salt & vinegar), Doritos, and Hot Cheetos. Arare is rice crackers flavored with shoyu or what we called soy sauce. It comes with spicy or non spicy, some are wrapped in nori a.k.a. seaweed like the one you can see in the picture. Very addictive.
Caution: Must replenish body with plenty of water after consuming Arare. YUM!


These are the gifts that I am patiently waiting for from Rina, Erin and Carol. =)

If any of you out there want to throw in a lil sumthin sumthin for me this would be it or errr... HIM.

Chirstmas shopping!!!

Went Christmas shopping last Saturday, was a really productive day. Didn't spend too much time walking around like a head-less chicken. No I don't celebrate Christmas (but I like Christmas parties...) but most of my buddies do so I gotta get em something right? Thank goodness I don't have a lot of "good friends" if not I'll go broke buying them gifts. On top of that, I still need to delegate some money for sending out the presents and Christmas cards. Boy oh Boy. Why do they gotta live so far away??? Saipan (the closest), Hawaii, Dallas, and Chicago. Rina and Erin, if you're reading this. I hope you know what I wish you guys are here.
I can't tell you what I bought them just yet. Coz they might be reading my blog too, tho I doubt they do. LOL. But I can tell you what my mama bought me. She finally gave in and got me a 2000 pieces set of Jigsaw puzzle!!!!!!!!!! YEAY!!!! You have no idea how happy I am, the last puzzle I completed was in March 07.... I think. I'll definitely post it on here once I'm done with it. Guess what I also asked my ma for my burfday gift? A new cell phone. And guess what she told me? NO I won't because your's is still use-able. That's so my mama. =) Love her still tho she won't buy me a new phone...
Nuff said. Speaking of Christmas think I better start playing Christmas songs on my Bose speaker...

A quarter of a century old

In about thirty plus plus days, I will turn 25. Now I have to clarify. I do not mind getting older/aging or what have you. What trips me out the most is I haven't got a good grip of this year(November now) yet and it is already about to end. Scary isn't it?
This year has flown by so fast. Felt like I just celebrated my 24th burfday yesterday... OK let me revise what had happened this year. On Jan 1st 2007, I stayed home, had a movie marathon, slept, woke up and "someone" made me dinner. The next day Jan 2nd, that "someone" took me out for dinner at one of my favorite place to eat i.e. Olive Garden because he had given me money for shopping when I visited Erin in Jacksonville, FL for Christmas ^^ After January, I went home for Chinese New Year in February, stayed until April. Flew back to Chicago, had a blast for my last summer in Chicago with Evvy (I miss doing road trips with you Evvy!!!!), "someone", Jeremy (Thank you for bringing me out) and few other peeps. Flew back to KL again in August, got a job in September. And BOOM!!!!!!! November said hello to me.
Back to my point. I felt like I haven't done anything that contributes to my life. On the side note. Guess what was my new year's resolution?? (YES I HAD ONE!!!) It WAS stop cursing and swearing. =) Did I achieve my goal?? Oh hell no! Yes unfortunately you could still hear me swearin esp when I drive. Hehehe. For next year's resolution, I am open for any suggestions yo. I have lost hope in stopping myself from cussin. LOL.
So yea, I'll be 25 next year. That also means my parents have been together for AT LEAST 25 years, isn't that something??? I always thinking about it. It is such blessing to be with someone for so long esp someone that you cherish and love. =) Congratulations papa and mama!

PS. Wanna give me burfday present? I'd take anything. Preferably books!!! I love reading.

Look to your right-------------------->

Look to your right. You will see a link to FREAKONOMICS. I gotta tell ya they have to some pretty interesting thoughts and ideas. Things you read and you'll go Hmmmmm....... or That makes sense...... or Oh really? I read their book "Freakonomics" a few months back. Love what they had to say and love how their (Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt) minds work. Therefore, I visit their site daily to make my day more interesting! ^^ If you're bored sometimes, go check it out! I promise it'll worth your time. (= For example:-

When a Pack of Cigarettes Costs $222

By Stephen J. Dubner

Kip Viscusi, who teaches economics and law at Vanderbilt Law School, has written widely and well on the risky choices that people make, especially smoking.

A new working paper, co-authored with Joni Hersch, attempts to put a price on each pack of cigarettes smoked:

This article estimates the mortality cost of smoking based on the first labor market estimates of the value of statistical life by smoking status. Using these values in conjunction with the increase in the mortality risk over the life cycle due to smoking, the value of statistical life by age and gender, and information on the number of packs smoked over the life cycle, produces an estimate of the private mortality cost of smoking of $222 per pack for men and $94 per pack for women in 2006 dollars, based on a 3 percent discount rate. At discount rates of 15 percent or more, the cost decreases to under $25 per pack.

By comparison, eating a cheeseburger is much, much cheaper.

My work

Haven't talked much about my work and what I do at work... I know... Basically, I have the freedom to do whatever I want at work. Like I don't really have strict 9-6 schedule. What I usually do is to get to work early so that I could leave early and BEAT the traffic. ^^
What do I do? I grow rice plants at work. I wait for them to grow til mature stage (flowering seedings and etc) about 180 days. Until then I've practiced on RNA extraction using Heay's E. coli, and run electrophoresis gels. Oh and of course learned how to grow paddy!!! My first and second batch rice babies (MR-219 and MALINJA) had died. R.I.P. Oh I took my latest batch (MR-84 and MR-185) home to grow yo. More sunshine, temperature just nice (~38C) not freezin they asses in our lab (~22C). LOL. Hmm what else.. I also have to look up as many journals on lignin biosynthesis for Oryza sativa as I possibly can. Look em up and "try" to read and digest em... Shucks! It's like college all over again. Worst is the papers are on plant biochemistry and molecular biology. Totally not my field (I graduated with a degree in Human Nutrition).
And yesterday my boss showed me how to design primers for enzymes of interest that are involved in the biosynthesis pathway. Speaking of which I still have to identify them enzymes, limiting enzymes per my boss. She is a very cool boss I have to say. ^^ Not always on our back telling us what we have to do and when we have to have em be done by... Gave us freedom and trust us that we'll get our job done!



PS. When I say "we" that means my cousin Heay and I. Yes we work together. ^^

Pick It Up

If you know me. You'll know I love reading Queen of Media-- Perez Hilton's blog, gossips about our beloved entertainers and sometimes politicians... Well Perez Hilton is really good about introducing new songs from main stream artists and non. One of em I just discovered is this song "Pick It Up" by Fergie. When I first heard this song, my eyes instantaneously filled up with tears. It is so beautiful, whoever that wrote this song must lived what we lovers lived through... beautiful and ugly.


Pick It Up
The sun didn’t come up today
This lonely won’t go away
It somehow feels
Nothing’s real
Like a stranger wears my face

I Pick Up and call
I Pick Up and call
Cause I need to go
I Pick Up and call, yeah

I feel you missin' me
Is there something that you need
Cause we got more babe
Then you know
And this water’s runnin' deep

You pick up and call
You pick up and call
‘Cause you need to talk
You pick up and call, yeah, yeah

I Pick Up and call
She picks up and calls
We pick up and call
‘Cause we need to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Call me on my phone girl
Anytime you want girl
Seven in the mornin’
Pick it up you know I will
Baby ain’t no wrong time
For you to call up my line
You stay on my mind girl
You stay on my mind lady
Nothing really matters
When we sit and chatter
Your voice is just like magic
baby, abracadabra,
you put a spell on me
Yeah girl you done that voodoo
So you won't you dial up my digits
So I can talk to you
And I Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up
Pick It Up, I Pick It Up

It’s crazy.
How it’s so hard for me to just, call you
It’s like I have these feelings, but
Someone just keeps, holding me back
I don’t know what it is, it’s like my insecurities, my fears
I just gotta know, that your gonna be there

I feel you missin' me
I know you missing me
Cause I’ve been missin' you
Baby it’s true, it’s true, it’s true
I know your wantin' me
Just call and talk to me
To know your needin; me
Like I need you, I need you, I need you


Cuddle up with your baby, enjoy this beautiful song. Treasure the ones you love. Heck love them even if they don't love you back! (=
Remember I too love you. Coz you read my blog! =P

Kimmy is coming to visit!!! yeay!!!

Yeay finally someone's gonna come visit me. Kimmy has always talked about coming to S.E.A.(south east asia) to visit. Exotic Thailand's beaches, mysterious Rain Forests, and ya know the whole nine yard... Well she signed up for a STA Intrepid trip. The tour starts from Thailand, Kuala Lumpur and lastly Singapore.
Her tour ends beginning of Feb in Singapore, I wanted to join her over there and bring her back to KL since she's new here. Will it be a good idea? I mean I haven't step foot on Singapore's soil in like FOREVER... Don't know what's going on over there =P Oh oh and it's more expensive now too. I'd rather spend my hard earn money visiting Australia. SHIT. Or I could just wait for her here. ^^
Kimmy's timing is perfect! I told her that gets to spend Chinese New Year with us!!! Collect some "ang pau" at the same time ya? I plan to bring her to forest-y places. Depending if she'd had enough of those in Thailand. If not, I'm always down for BEACHes baby!!! I'll also bring her to our pasar malam, pasar pagi, mamak and etc. Bet she'll get a good look and taste of how we Malaysians live. Any other suggestions???

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST per Rina S.

As we all know Christmas is just around the corner. Last week I was chatting three way on MSN with my buddies. We're trying to figure what to get each other and how soon we should start sending the present since we all live SO SO SO far away from each other. Erin lives on an island in the middle of no where. Rina lives in the "biggest" state in the US of A LOL. And myself live in one of the "developing" country in SEA. My only worry is that if my presents will EVER get to me. Since the postal service in my beloved country is SO darn GREAT!!! (=
Anywayz, Rina had already made up her Christmas wish list as usual. This year she wants DVDs for her DVD collection, Wii, Victoria Secret (but according to her it is Vickies), and etc that I couldn't remember. Erin just wanted yoga "stuffs" as we called it. Like yoga mat, block, strap, and YOGINI, that just a brand for yoga clothes (= Expensive tho per Erin. I know I'm getting her yoga mat. Coz I really want her to YOGA baby!!!! When Rina asked me what I want for Christmas??? I told her straight up that I want pair of slippers from Old Navy and panties from GAP. LOL LOL LOL. I know I'm lame. It's not like I cannot get slippers and panties in Malaysia but I am just so used to using GAP and Old Navy. Trust me GAP has some real cute yet sexy cheeky hipsters. While all that is going on, I suddenly realized that I also need/want Sean John fragrance Unforgivable for women. Hehehe... Think Erin is gettin me that. ^^ YEAY!!! Some of you might be wondering why I don't just buy myself the perfume? The truth is yea the fragrance is launched, but it is not going to be on Malaysia's market until mid next year!!!!!!!! How cool is that? Once again, I'm living in my beloved "developing" country. LOL.
For you guys out there. If you want to buy me Christmas gift. Just buy me a good book, and I'll be a appy as a bee. (= OR if you could afford it, buy me some Godiva chocolate....

How do you know you're old

How do you know that you're old? When do you actually find out that you're old? No no it is NOT when you can't run for five miles straight without feeling shitty about yourself because your knee hurts, you're running outta breath and etc. You know you're old when people that you know start having babies left and right!!! Your schoolmates, your classmates, your co-workers and everyone else you know. LOL.
YUP. You guessed right. I am feeling old or you could say I'm around "that age". LOL!!! It all started back in 2005. I found out one of my FSHN 185 (Introduction to Human Nutrition) classmates had a baby boy named Cody. Then in 2006, I found out that one of my classmates/T.A. was pregnant too!!! So sometime in 2006, another baby boy was born and his name is Kainoa. Finally in 2007, I got three pregnancy news. One was my classmate, two were my dorm mates. And guess what their due dates are so close as if they planned to get "sperminated" at the same time! So yea, two babies were born in July (same week), one was born in August. They are Archer, Kaia, and Kennedy.
Oh just when I thought the "baby boom" is over. I got a news that one of my ex coworker is pregnant AGAIN!!! Why did I capitalized AGAIN??? No big deal right to get pregnant? Well, she is capable of having babies alright. Her eldest son was born in 2004, second son was born in 2006, same month, in July. I seriously thought she won't be having more kids anytime soon. Who knows... Her third child's due date is April 2008.
I know there will be more babies to come. Just don't know from which ones of my lovely friends. =) To all the parents or parents to be out there, I wish you and your babies well!!!

Long term goals and short term goals.

What is your long term goal? What are your short term goals?? Do you even have one??? These are the questions I am contemplating right now. I want to set some goals for me.
Back in the days when I was still in school. One of our professors (I don't remember which class) asked us to list down some long and short term goals. It was hard for me to do so. I only had one goal at that time which is to graduate ^^ I made up the rest of it for assignment purposes. Alright my point here is. I have lived my life so far WITHOUT a plan. I didn't plan to attend certain college, I didn't plan to study overseas in Hawaii, I didn't plan to study Food Science and Human Nutrition, I just sorta "go with the flow". UNTIL NOW!!! That's why I said. I need goals, I need plans. I cannot live not knowing where I'll be next anymore. Well, at least this is how I feel now. :P
This is my plan. I will set small goals each day and accomplish them. Eventually I should get accustomed to having goals and maybe, just maybe I'll have a plan for my future....

PS. Been writing this blog for over an hour.... Got distracted. Lost my train of thought. Tried my best to convey my message.

Why did I chose to work?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?????????????? I don't want to work I want to travel!!! Well maybe not travel, how bout just get to US and chill with my friends, that I absolutely missed. I mean I am still happy about me having a job but I just realized I lost my freedom to just fly, yes I said fly, outta this country for a couple of weeks or months. Working is a responsibility that pays my bills and show other ppl what a grown up I am. Deep down, I still wanna play I still wanna party like a rock star. YEAH!!!!!!
When I first I got back here, I had a plan. A plan to visit my brother in Brisbane, one of the land I have not visit. Down under baby! Obviously it didn't freakin work out as planned. I even reserved my ticket for November, but the next thing I know. I'm on my way to work. FUCK. My contract with this job is one year. I will be patient and work hard for this one year and we'll see what happen next. I want to go back to Hawaii, I want to go back to Chicago. I wanna go back to Miami to party my ass off with hot brothers. I want to visit my brother. I want to go to Italy. There just so many wants and not enough money and TIME. Anywho, if you are reading this somewhere out there. Feel free to sponsor me ie. gimme some money, so poor me could fly outta here to any of those location mentioned above. Thank you!

Sadden...

Last Saturday was thought to be an exciting day, I had a date with two of my OLD best friends. I was a little excited, thinking we're gonna catch up like old times, you know? But did it turn out I way I wanted? NO. I felt so distanced and not connected. Maybe I'm just snobbish and didn't want to get acquainted with old friends. Yea maybe. In my opinion, we didn't have anything to talk about. Right now, I just want Erin, Effa, Rina, and Nora to be here.... =) I miss them so much!!!
Meeting my two old friends made me realized how much I miss Erin, Effa, Rina and Nora. Erin is in Hawaii right now, about to take her RD exam. GOOD LUCK GIRL!!! Rina is in Texas, battling with her boss in the hospital. GOOD LUCK RINA, I hope you could get over this issue soon. Don't pay no attention to them "kau" bitches. Effa is working in Putrajaya and puasa-ing, bet she's a bit out of it. Nora is in Penang, I hope to visit her soon. =)

I would like to be left alone

Human beings are interesting animals. We always want what we cannot have. I broke up with someone a while back. When we were together, he hardly sees my existence. Now that I left and no longer want anything from him. He kept calling and calling and calling day in day out, telling me he called because he misses me. All I can think of is what about when I needed you? I would love to tell him I'm over you now, just like what Chris Daughtry said.

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

Some of us girls just don't realize these things

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

Working. Again.

After couple months of counting my fingers and toes over and over again (ie no job, no school). This day has finally come. This day is the night before starting a brand new job. A job where I can honestly say I have not a clue of. I have a degree in Food Science and Human Nutrition, been working as a nuritionist in WIC clinic. Where I tell people (my clients included babies, children up to age 5, postpartum, pregnant and breastfeeding women) what to eat and what not to eat. Now come this day where I must dig out vague memories/information in molecular biology!!! I know I've learned some of it in my Biochem and Ochem classes, but where are they now? I am terrified yet excited because I get to read text books again. :) Haven't I told you? I love reading my biochem text books.
OK, back to my job. I will be working as a research assistant on some rice/padi project. The detail of it, I will let know later on when I figure it out, remember it, and can say it aloud. To tell you the truth, during the interview. I didn't understand words that came out from the professor's mouth. I only noded and noded, pretend I undestood?! However, I knew damn well she knew that I didn't have a clue LOL!! For this job, I didn't do any preparation yet but I did practice driving in a town full of idiotic, barbaric, selfish and traffic laws-ain't-nothin-but-shit drivers. Just this saturday, I managed to drive from home to my workplace. Well, the real test is tomorrow when EVERYBODY will be on the road trying to get to where they need to be. I can guarantee you there won't be any angels out on the road in Kuala Lumpur/PJ/Sunway/Subang/Kelana Jaya. Please pray to god that Heay and I will be safe on the road. =)
Thank you for your time. PEACE!

I don't deserved to BLOG

I just noticed the last time I blogged was in July!!! In case you haven't noticed... which I'm sure you have. I am a lazy blogger!!! I don't think I deserved the right to blog anymore. LOL!! The last time I blog I was in the states. Now I'm blogging from home in my newly decorated bedroom. Yes I have moved, I think I'd mentioned it in one of my blogs. My new bedroom is small, simple, and cozy, reminds me of my dorm room in the past. Except I don't have to take my meals here. THANK GOD!!! I have a small desk right next to my single bed, a bedside table also next to my bed, a small closet in a corner, and a chest on the other side of the room. Bathroom attached, thank you! ^^
Oh oh oh, and I am also blogging using my brand new MacBook. How cool?! So now, I am officially an Apple girl. Never in my dreams thought this would happen. Been using Compaq laptops for the past seven years. On average, one laptop every two years. About a month ago, I told my brother that I might purchase another laptop for myself and he suggested Mac. I was like oh no. He said for people like me (ie. don't know much about computer, don't play games on laptop, most importantly don't know a thing about fixing it), I should try using Mac. And I did! It definitely takes some getting used to. I must say Macbook has a lot of COOL and WOW factors. Wanna know what they are? Go to an AppleStore and check it out for yourself.
Yea, I am slowly adjusting life at home. Not bad at all I have to say. Also, thanks to my cousin Heay. With her visits to our house, I have someone to "play" with from time to time. Thank you Heay2@Ava Kong! Love your new name!

Gotta Have Brownie

Yesterday would be the second time I made this yummy brownie. It is called Gotta Have Brownie meaning it is so freakin good that you just gotta have it! LOL!! This delicate dessert is made of a total of 3 sticks of butter(OH MY GOD, it's SIN!!!), more than 3 cups of sugar, cocoa, evaporated milk, some flour, AND marshmallow. I will post a picture of this brownie soon. So, here is the recipe:
1 C butter (soften)
2 C sugar
1/3 C cocoa
4 eggs
1 1/2 C all purpose flour
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven 350 degrees
Combine all the ingredients above
Bake in 1-inch deep square pan for 20 mins
Top brownies with mini marshmallow
Bake for another 3 mins at 350 degrees

Frosting recipe:
1 2/3 C powdered sugar
1/2 C butter (soften)
1/3 C cocoa powder
1/3 C canned evaporated milk

Combine and stir all ingredients well
Cover brownies with frosting
Let brownie cools and refrigerate

This brownie is so easy make, you gotta try it!!! It is fail proof. Have fun and enjoy this delicious dessert.

Yummy blueberries

This past Sunday I went blueberry picking with my friends. Let me tell ya, I didn't know picking blueberries could be so therapeutic. Yes, I went with my friends but most of the time I was by myself picking my berries, enjoying the wonderful summer weather, being fascinated by nature. Staring at those absolutely gorgeous blueberries, wondering how little guys like them can be packed with so much nutrients especially anti-oxidant. And not be mention how tasty they are. Unripe blueberries are red and sour. Riped berries are deep purple-blue and sweet and a little fizzy like drinking soda!!! LOL! Another lesson I learned from this outing is not to complain how expensive blueberries are anymore. They are carefully picked and sorted. =) Lastly, being able to taste fresh self-picked berries is priceless. For everyone out there, if you have a chance to do so, DON'T pass up the opportunity!!!

The picture above is a basket full of berries. I picked them myself!

This is me posing with berries bushes.

Hair Style

Yep I'm talking abut hair style. I recently chopped my hair shoulder lenght short. As compared to mid back length. It was quite a change for me, using less shampoo/conditioner, hair taking shorter time to dry, not shedding as much. This new look took some getting use to because I'd had that long hair for 2-3 years. Everyone asked my why I did it. I simply said if I have to carry long BAD hair with me all the time, I'd rather have shorter more healthy hair. :)

Having long hair is a big a deal for me since when I was younger having long hair was not possible because of the texture of my hair. It was coarse, frizzy, and dry. So whenever my hair gets a little longer, it will have this blow-out effect or some people call it an afro. NOT GOOD LOOK. Then I'll have to chop it off. However, after I received the permanent straightening process back in year 2004. Growing long hair became possible for me. :) Now, I am simply enjoying my new hair and my new tan!!!

Chicago-> Indianapolis-> Louisville-> Elizabethtown-> Nashville-> Cincinnati-> Columbus

Boy our road trip was so much fun. We took quite a few pictures. Which I will post late on, much later on. LOL!!! Road trip was fun but some of the towns/cities that we've visited are boring and dead. They were unbelievable, we were wondering how could anyone any family survived in those places. For example, we drove through downtown Louisville, Kentucky for lunch. There were nobody, not a soul walking on the streets of Louisville, how scary is that? I would advice everybody, unless you get a VERY HIGH paid job in Louisville, DO NOT bother visit.

Nashville, Tennessee. I've heard so much about it. Reality is, just a town full of old folks and old folks whom are visiting. Full of old white folks and young white folks. LOL. We were there only for a little while includes driving around to look for motel and sitting down for dinner Applebees. After about two hours, we decided to ditch this town. At first, we were thinking about driving straight back to Chi town. But all of a sudden, we changed our minds. We decided to head north-east to Columbus, Ohio instead. Yeay us!!! On our way to Columbus, we get to check out Cincinnati night skyline. Not as impressive as Chicago's but good enough, since we've been in the country side all freakin day. Cincinnati-- the home of Cincinnati Bengals, one of my favourite football team.

Columbus, Ohio. The host of the biggest college in the US. Drum roll please....... OHIO STATE UNI. The buckeyes. It has 50,000 students per regular quarter and 12,000 students per summer quarter. HOLY MOLY. 50,000... like a city on its own. Yea, I don't have much to say about this city. Simply, beautiful school and gorgeous guys that go to school there. LOL!!! Keep it up Buckeyes!!!

P.S. Meet OSU mascot Mr. Buckeyes

How's speed dating?

Speed dating is alright. Yea you meet a lot of self-claimed singles in one night. But there is just too much talking involved. We were allowed 3-4 minutes per person to talk to. Do you know how long 3-4 minutes is if/when you aren't interested in that particular person? Sheesh. There were a few awkward moments for me. Simply because
(1) that person is insane:- this one guy whom is 38 years old who wasnt even suppose to be there that night, our age range was 22-32. I think his name is Nick. He was wearing a SOX jacket, looked un-groomed, a bit dirty, kept rocking back and forth while he was speaking, called my friend a "polish broad" HOW RUDE???? He told me he was from Mars (WOW), he kept repeating himself something about "oh you are too much fun" In conclusion, I cannot wait til the bell rings again so that he could get the hell outta my face.
(2) I was just NOT interested:- yea in Asian dudes that night. One, I'm guessing he is from vietnam or thai. He kept talking and talking about his two jobs, and didn't even get the hint that I wasn't interested at what he was saying. What was my hint/s?? No eye contact what so ever, only reply with "hmm" and "yea" LOL. My goodness, I am just not feeling Asian dudes. No offense.
(3) that person was drunk or high on pot. tsk tsk tsk.:- How are you going to impress someone being so high on drugs or completely drunk the first time you meet em????? Need I say more?
Well peeps. Even though my take on speed dating is quite negative. Don't get me wrong, you can still do it at least once in your life. It would be something to do when you are absolutely bored. Some stories I heard. People do find true love in speed dating. Believe it or not? It is up to you.

Speed dating anyone?

Yes, as the matter of fact. I am going to speed date next Thursday with a bunch of friends at a place call Funky Buddha Bar, should be interesting. My thanks to Evvy, if it wasn't her. I would never in a million years thought of such adventurous act. And when I told Erin my best friend that going for real, she told me that I am her idol... LOL... As it's getting closer to that day, I am growing more and more nervous. WHY? I haven't been on date since forever, so long that I couldn't remember what was a date like? LOL Even though as we know speed dating is different compare to normal one on one dating ya...
SO, I will let you know how it goes after next Thursday! Have a wonderful day!

Road trip and blue berries picking

This coming July fourth holiday. Evvy and I will go on a hopefully memorable roadtrip. Yesterday when we were hanging out. I suggested that we would go to Vegas since I'm moving home and haven't been to the Sin City and she needs to use up some of her vacation leave. But when we looked at the air fare and accomodation, it was way outta our budget. So we decided to do roadtrip instead. Nashville, Tennesse will be our destination, and on the way we will make a point to go through Kentucky. I am so excited that I don't have words to describe.
Has anyone gone berries picking? I have not. So the second last weekend of July Evvy, Sergio, myself and a few other friends will make it to Michigan, Sergio Uncle's farm to pick blue berries. YEAY!!!!!! Blue berries are one of my favourite berries, they are full of vitamins and anti oxidant. Good and good for you!! :) Of course cranberries are awesome as well... hehehe. I will keep you posted. See ya!

Decision to move home

I recently decided that I would move home. For a short while, at least six months. To make this decision wasn't easy at all. I have been "free" and independent for so long (since 2002). The thought of leaving this life behind me, sometimes, makes me cringe. This "do what I want whenever I want however I want", coming home at four in the morning life means so much to me. I love living under MY OWN ROOF/RULES. LOL...

Bright side of this move?? Great reasons. ONE, I want to live at home, not just vacationing at home for say 3-4 weeks. TWO, to be around my family again, to regain a sense of who I am and where my root is. THREE, home cook meals are D best!!!! FOUR, spend more time with my papa and more effort talk with him. FIVE, get to know my paternal grandmother, this sounds strange but true. SIX, be my sister's sister. I want to be there for her, just like when my brother and I was younger, we had each other, and we still do. I don't want my sister to feel like she is the only child. :) SEVEN, improve me as a person. I feel like I have rotten over the years. EIGHT, to recharge my battery and get ready for another battle --> MBA

Dear Diary

I have not been blogging regularly. Shame on me. This past few days I found out more about MBA. Sounds challenging, intensive writing, networking, heavy workload period. Now, this makes me to reconsider doing part time MBA. Part-timing would take years before I could finish :) Maybe continue working until Fall 2008, quit and do school full time is a better idea... Sigh... I DONT KNOW
I asked my sister the other day for her support. She told me she doesn't know... hehe I know she doesn't want me to stay here in the states any longer, she wants me to be home. I don't want to disappoint her, but I think I need to do whats need to be done for my own future. Before decided to go to grad school, I'd gone back and forth about what I'm gon do about my future..... It ain't an easy task. I know I know, no one says life is easy.
You know what, my brain is drawing a blank right now. I'll write some more later.

Lucky girl I am

Received a call from my mama this morning, it is always a delight to hear her voice after so many years of living on my own. Hearing from her lifted my spirit up...
After our phone conversation, I started thinking how lucky I am to be my parents daughter. My parents are very supportive in a lot of things that I choose to do, but to actually hear my mother say it out loud made a world of difference to me... Papa and mama definitely are not one of your needy parents, they need you for this, they need you for that. Oh trust me, I've seen those people. Can you come over to pay my bills online? Can you come over to mow the lawn? Can you come over to cook? Can you bring your sister and cousin to shop for school supplies? The list goes on and on and on... Thank god for such wonderful parents, I am so blessed.
Besides not being needy, my parents made almost everything possible for me. I remember being in college, seeing fellow students working 2-3 jobs to get themselves through school. Me? I got it good... tuition fees, dorm, books, and sometimes even holiday trips was paid for so that I could focus on study.
Yes at times, I couldn't understand why they do certain things certain ways... Yes at times, we were in conflict, and there were misunderstandings. I found out, no matter what, my parents always have my best interest. Thank you papa! Thank you mama!
Oh more on my mama, it always put a smile on my face thinking about what she did for me while I was in school at home. On those "wonderful" exam days that we get in secondary school, my mama never fails driving me to school, she has this calming effect on me, she tells me I will do just fine, she made sure I had something good to eat before and after exam. :) Even when I got to local college, she continued doing that for me. SO, the first time I had exam in Hawaii. You could guess what happened. I actually cried a little thinking mama is not here to drive me to school, mama is not here to make me good food, mama is not here to tell me I would do fine... I told myself, you gotta make it on your own now because mama cannot always be by my side to do all that.
Peeps, don't worry, I am pretty independent now. hehehe!

Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy

This is scary. I finally have to admit------ shopping for clothes is therapeutic!!! That means I better make loads of dough very soon. For the past five six years, shopping is just somethin I do during down time or rarely, "I shop because I need". Definitely NOT for therapeutic reasons. Remember back in Hawaii, I would hop on city buses to get to Ala Moana shopping mall after classes or during the weekends, it is like my second home. After years of "training" I could walk around the mall with my eyes closed. Really.
Since eating a pound of chocolate when I'm down does not do the trick anymore, I know I'm in deep doodoo. I would have to go shopping to get the aahhhh...... effect, you know what I mean? But please don't get me wrong. The financial situation I'm in now doesn't permit me to shop every other day or every week or even every month. So, I've came up with a solution, yesterday. Whenever I have the urge to go shopping, I would get my phone and my keys (without my wallet), put on my walking shoes, and go walking instead. How does that sounds?