Ppl come ppl go

I have friend on FB, her status quote "is tellin herself ppl come ppl go".  I could not agree less with what she'd said.  Tonight, I just dropped someone outta my life.  I am seriously old enough to know what's good for me and what's bad for me.  There is no need to contemplate.  But I did it anyways for about a week or two.  I contemplated.  At last, I know we ain't gon work for the long run.  Painful yet this decision allows me to breathe free.....    

Like my friend said.  Ppl come ppl go.  

Update:  A few minutes after I posted this entry.  An old friend of mine called.  Seeing how I'm doing, to talk to me and stuff.  We ended up yapping for 1 hour 4 minutes and 35 seconds.  =)  Great talk girl.  Thank you so much!  For caring.  

My memories that you too can see...

Contrast.


You totally wouldn't notice you're next to the ocean just looking at this photo ;) That's why Hawaii is so unique.




So blue it makes me wanna cry. Yes I cry about pretty much eveything. And?



There you have it UCKS Coffee!

Revisiting memories

Am currently uploading some old photos onto FB. I know Rina would like to see more of those old pictures. =) Since now none of us are living there, these pictures might help the "homesick" syndrome a little... Hawaii is a gorgeous gorgeous place. If anyone who has a chance to visit, do not hesitate and never doubt. ok?

Side note, I was reading Su Ann's blog the other day. She is attending Columbia U. She lives in New York, New York. I asked my mother*, what would have happened to my life if I were to attend any school in NYC? My question went unanswered. Now, looking back at these pictures how could I ever? think about living in NYC? Silly me. I know I know, this is probably the gazillionth time I've blogged about how much I miss Hawaii, how effin beautiful Hawaii is... ya ya ya. But what's not to love? Yes, we don't have the best college football team. Yes, we DO NOT have pro football**. Still, what's not to love about Hawaii? My best (friends) years happened on that island. I met the most amazing people on that island (peeps in Chi you are just as amazing k). I had the most awesome drinking sessions on that island***. I met the hottest men on that island. And how can I forget, my graduation happened on that island. Heheheh... Bear with me, just freakin mesmerizin now k?

Distracted, I proceed with going through my graduation photos... Can you believe I actually finished school? For a person that hated school since she was 6? LOL.

Man, do you guys hate me for doing this all the time? Are you guys sick of me doing this? Do let me know if you're tired of me being that broken tape player. =)

I miss my girls like crazy.

*Mother hates and never answer hypothetical questions. But her daughter loves asking such questions...

**This brings me to the BEARS. What's up with last week's game? 3 points lost to effin Buccaneers during OT????? Pissed me off.

***Remember once before heading out to country club, Kimmy's friend Honey served me a Screw Driver consists of 12oz of vodka and a tiny splash of orang juice. Dang, after that night I have the worst hang over EVER in the history of my drinking life!!!! Actually that vodka craze was only the starters for the night, after that I have shots after shots of Crown Royal. So you really can imagine the state of my hang over. LOL. shit, I just realize Crown Royal is actually whisky... So that means, I DO LOVE whisky! Oh my world. Tips for ya, the best way to serve Crown Royal is to chill it in the freezer before consuming. Trust me on that, you will not feel the burn. ;)

WordTwist

It's one minute to 1230am Tuesday.  I'm eating Beryl's Chocolates.  On the label it says, Raisins, Hazelnuts, and Almonds coated with milk chocolate....  Let's NOT get started with the nutrition label k.  Before I decided to write an entry, I was totally engaged in Word Twist on FB.  My partner in crime is Carleton W.  He is so so so smart, always beat me in every single game we played.  Yea, I really sucked.  My vocab capacity is just as big as a 5 year old compare to Carleton.  I don't mind losing to a person as smart as he is...  ^^  

Maybe the chocolates I ate has something to do with vocab capacity...  Who knows.

My new book!  Such A Pretty Fat.  Hilarious and witty.  *I'm still eating them chocolate.*  You don't have to be fat to read this book, but you'll relate better if you FAT!  LMAO.

There ain't much had happened.  I was in a really good mood whole day today.  =)  Feels good ya know.  Let's keep this one short, I wanna get back to my Word Twist.  But before I go, I wanna shout out to my peeps in Chicago!

I MISS EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU:  Evvy, Maria, Daisy, Flor, Nancy, Millie, Sylvia, Justine, Kathy, Debra, Alicia, Jeanette, DaVina, Elyna, Kim, Sergio, Ashley, and last but not least mizz Dionne.  

p.s.  He said he loves me because I'm stubborn.  Do you cry or do you laugh?

p.p.s.  My friend is leavin next Tuesday.  =(  To the boonies in CO.  I'll miss him.

This should be a post on its own

I came up with a theory this afternoon.  I only told Hanafi about it.  And now I'm letting you in...

Why do people get married?  

We grew up having friends.  When we get older we might have a boyfriend or two...

But that boyfriend or two can never get in between the friendships we have...  At least I hope.

And as we age, our friends will leave us.  Move, die, travel, have babies, disappear or what not...

So what do we do?  When all of our trusted and most loved friends left us?

We get married!  We feel lonely, we feel lost, we feel the emptiness of not having good friends. 

So we get married!  Find new friends you say?

How many of you can honestly say, the best ones aren't the old ones?????  

And so we get married!  

Yea, I hate it when ppl leave me.  About to OR had left me...  I hate it, I do not accept it well.  That's me.  

*I've moved on to Homie, Lover, Friend also by R. Kelly.

Catching up but still pissy...

Hey.  It is the time of the week again, to be pissy and mad.  Oh yea, I was that just about two days ago right?  Uh huh, I didn't forget.  =)  I am at it again though.  

I am pissed off at first because I am not doing what I went to school for.  Then, I began to pissed off about I am pissed off because of the previous reasons.  A little later, I was pissed off about I'm always pissy about something.  Also, I was pissed off about why I am not doing anything about things that made me pissy.  Woooooooo!  What a mouth full!  Sometimes I would think, why can't I just be more grateful?  I do have a job.  I have income.  Gosh, such deja vu right now.  Didn't I just blogged about this shit?  

People said, if you're not gonna make any changes then stop complainin.  

Let me tell you what happened yesterday at work.  I have a few clients came in to do their monthly things...  To make it short, a lady asked for my birth date.  I gave.  She punched it into her cell phone, after a while she started tellin me things.  

Things.  Like, I appeared to be close to my parents, which I'm really not.  She repeated it like four times.  I nodded, more than once.     

Things.  Like, it is very hard for me to make any kind of decisions.  I nodded.  

Things.  Like, to be careful at work, coz there are tons of "xiao ren" meaning negative ppl doing things behind my back.  I tilted my head a little... 

Things.  Like, I'm lucky to have Yasha* as my name.  To sort of counteract the negativity my birth date generates.

I believed and agreed what she had said.  She even told me, she's went to I-Ching classes that study the elements of life.  You might think this is just superstitious.  But, I believe.  And that's all that matters...

*Though Yasha is only my nickname, she said, but that's what most ppl use.  You cannot change your birth year and date but you can change what you'll use for the rest of your life.  For example, cell phone numbers, nickname and such.  Like herself, she was harsh, so she changed her English name to become more approachable and like-able!  How cool is that?  

Listening to Trade In My Life, Step In The Name Of Love... and I Decided by R. Kelly.

Babe is......  

Like I said before it's gon be a long and difficult journey.  

You are a caring and loving man babe...  

You are very sensitive, you said you can feel it on your skin sometimes....

That I'm not like before.  That I am different.

I agree...  

I'm trying.  To see it in a different light, even if it's a dim one....

Compassion Deficiency

I've got serious compassion deficiency.  Do I really hate my life that much?  Got almost everything a person my age could have.  Uh huh.  

I woke up opened my eyes, first thing that came into mind.  ...I'm not doing what I went to school for 5.5 years for...  My best friends are doing great things!  One works in a hospital, one works for WIC.  They are doing great things in life.  Totally hating why now at 25 still be thinking about err what am I gonna be when I grow up... 

I was thinking about what's lacking in me while chatting with Effa this evening after dinner at Starbucks.  Ok yea, you're not suppose to drift away in thoughts while hanging out...  But I figured it out!  I lack compassion, hence my beginning statement, "compassion deficiency"!!!!!  The symptoms that come with it are hot & short temper, pissy all the time, rude to the ones you love, short to no eye contact, don't care if I'm going to hell for saying mean things, ceased providing world-class customer services and some unknown symptoms.  Any medication suggestions besides food and alcohol????  

Oooooh Someone just messaged me on FB, he said compassion is a weakness..... sometimes this is like spring shower much needed during hot summer days.  I'm impressed.  I'm feelin a little less pissy now.  LOL.  Thanks Genn.     

Say No

TO SARAH PALIN!!!!!

Check out
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Mooncake, iphone, Colorado and it spells Random

Sitting here feeling absolutely fat and full or full and fat.  I had so much to talk about, at least I thought I have so much to talk about.  But after a little eating and drinking, the ideas are all gone...  

Today started out completely wrong.  Of course, my day follows the wrong steps too.  I was pissy and mad all day long, at everybody.  Yes I was.  Towards the evening, I was totally flat (and fat!)  LOL.  I have my own reasons to be pissy: ppl asking me STUPID questions, two-face bitches, and dumb-ass bitches. That's all thank you very much.  It really doesn't take that much to piss me off ^^  Oh I guess I can share a bit about somethings that made me go ah~~~  Well, peeps are back from the US of A.  Some brought back goodies for us!  YEAY!  Nice little gestures, but MUCH MUCH appreciated guys!!!!  I got T-Shirts, Mug, Bag filled with more goodies, and more T-Shirts!  One more!  One more!  I learned three new words today.  LOL.  (1) Enrollment  (2) Retention  (3) Average of sales.  Errrm yea.    

As I'm writing to you, I'm having our last pieces of mooncake.  =P  Peeps, a friend of mine is leaving for Colorado soon (way too soon).  =(  He'll stay at least three months or up to one year!!!!  K, I don't see him everyday.  But the thought of him being over there during winter time makes me sad...  Winter in Chicago is no fun; winter in Colorado is shit!  Yup I said it, shit! ..................................

This weekend was fruitful.  I'm currently reading a new book: The Matrimony.  Speaking of which makes me wanna leave y'all to attend to my book.  I celebrated an old friend's burfday at Delicious.  Hung out with three old friends (that's when m.f. decided to tell us he's going off to US).  I bought three burfday cards.  I bought OldTown White Coffee and a bag of HACKS candy to mail it to my TwistWord buddie a.k.a. Ikea Boy.  I celebrated Mooncake Festival with fam on Sunday, didn't get to go out or anything...    I think that's about it.  

...................................

Today my FB status quote:  I could careless about mankind.

I read Rina's latest note.  ...why the year 2008 should be over with...  If you read her note, you would have agreed with her just like I did.  That was also what prompted me to think I could careless about mankind.  Really.  Mankind could buy you goodies from trips; mankind could also eff you up pretty good and over and over again.  

..................................

I am "dying" to get my hands on an iphone.  Muahahahha!

I am also "dying" to get back to my bed and book.  

Good night!

More Lyrics for YOU

A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I am freakin touched by this song I heard from the radio tonight.  Awww...... such a sad sad song.  Reminds me of people who've lost their loved ones to 9/11, seven years ago.  Haven't you seen family members posted pictures all over NYC after it happened?  They wanted to know have you seen their mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, best friends, fiance, wife, husband, son, daughter, pets?  Heart breaking even seven years later...

Moving On

Just getting used to waking up everyday
Not seeing your face
I just began to stop setting your place
And I stop longing for your warm embrace
And it was God that made me able
To finally sleep at night
Though you're not by my side
Finally I don't hardly cry
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
I finally put your cloths away
You know the ones you wore the day
That you were taken away from me
I just began to stop wearing my ring
And I finally stop playin' our song
When I realized I was dancin' alone and
Finally God gave me strength
To go on and breath again
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
God knows it's time for me to move on
I want to feel alive again
I want to be in love again
And no matter how hard I try
I can't erase you from my mind
And I gotta find somebody new
But I just can't get over you
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life I
tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life

Rina sent me this song, she also highlighted this to me:

I finally stop playin our song when I realized I was dancing alone...

Don't you wanna start ballin your eyes???  This is so so true for the most of us.  ;)  I felt exactly this way more than a year ago.  Insanely sad,  horribly true.

Highway "fun"

On my way to work this morning on KL-Putrajaya highway.  

All of a sudden, I saw a huge ass beamer keeps flashing headlights at this teeny car in front, on the fast lane opposite direction.  Usually this signals please get out of my way!!!  Guess what?  That tiny little car wouldn't budge.  I'm not talking about 3 series, I'm talking bout this 7 series black beamer came flying down the highway!!!  Ok now, who would be SO STUPID to stand in a beamer's way???  Did he really think that he could out run the 7 series with his little ass Savvy?  

Me, when I see some big headlights car behind me, I will move outta their way immediately.  I will not wait til the car is on my ass coz I know it aint' so smart trying to out run somebody with my 10 year old baby.  =P    

So guys, unless you're driving a 7 series please do not try to out run someone and I don't care how great your driving skills are!

Drive safe, be safe.

Life at home with parents.

After dinners, sometimes lunches.  Mother and I would sit out at porch on rocking chairs.  Getting fresh air, relaxing, catching up.  One day, this topic came up.  We have two houses in the neighborhood, occupied by middle age single woman.  Their children are grown, husbands one gone, one passed.  For one of the women, my mother exclaimed "what an anti-climax!"  After visiting son and grandson, she had to come back to this big empty house...  Sigh, I said.  Mother went on saying being able to live with children is a blessing, vice versa.  I thought to myself, yes.  Then I stopped thinking.  Instead I started pitying that lady.  When she got married, she definitely didn't know she would lose her husband to nasty cancer.  She definitely wasn't prepared for living alone at the age of 50 plus 60 years old...

           Few days later, I started thinking about life living with parents.  How has it been?  I remember mother once said, it was a blessing for her being able to take care of grandfather during his finals years...  With that being said, am I super duper blessed living with them now?  Yes.  Some people would look at it as oh how useless still living at your parents.  Yea to a certain point it could be true.  But I bet not many people can live with their parents...  There bound to be frictions, but that's normal!  =)  Coz we can always work through frictions.  There are only certain guidance could be given by our parents.  There are only certain comfort could be given by our parents.  So back to my question.  How has it been?  I can say it's been great! Not so much so how I feel really.  It is more about how they feel having me at home.  I know they are happy because of my presence, I know they are happy because my baby sister is less lonely.   I know they worry less because I am home.  Instead of me out in snow storm trying to get to work, as an example.  =)  If I can make them less worrisome, then I am satisfied.  Worrying makes ppl age must faster.  Like I said before there bound to be complications, but we are family, we will work it out!      

             You guys, the feeling of taking care of someone else's parents does not feel good at all.  Makes you think what about my own parents?  Right?  So if you're physically capable, go home more often.  If you're not, call them more often.  I promise you, they will appreciate the little gesture.    

              I know I have more to say.  But right now, my brain tells me to go to bed.  So good night!

Making plans

I've been putting everything on hold for a while. Now, I am making plans to finish what I've started.

I miss holding up a good book and read for hours.
I miss sitting in front of my 2000 pieces puzzle, trying to make it a complete picture.
I miss having friends. And actually hang out with them.
I miss good old me time.
I used to bake.
I used to cook.
I used to remember every single one of your birth dates.

Now things are a bit different. I will have a lot more me time. I figure I can start doing what I've missed and what I was used to... ^^
Speaking of burfdays. I got a FEW coming up in the month of september and october. I better hurry to get things together so I won't miss anything.

Road Rage

Rage defined in Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary means violent and uncontrolled anger.
If you add the word "road" in front of rage, you will get road rage!
If road rage was a diagnosed disease, I would be tested positive. It really is not a pretty story to tell ya. But road rage is scary. About a month ago, we left work pretty late. I dropped my coworkers on the side of the road and then I put on my left signal wanting to get back on track. I saw a Myvi coming from the back, I KNOW he saw my signals and yet he refused to let me out AND he honked at me, several times. All of a sudden, my rage took over, I tail gated that stupid car and kept honking at him too! I was well aware of my actions yet I cannot control myself to stop. It was not the first time I experience road rage... My road rage stories are too horrible to tell...
I just want to say, please drive carefully out there. Do no be like me. And do not be like that stupid guy in the dinky little Myvi! Oh by the way, I HATE PPL WHO DRIVES IN SMALL CARS!!!!!!!!

A lacto-ovo's story...

Been a vegetarian for almost all my life. I am a "lacto-ovo".  That means I do take dairies and eggs.  Of course being a vegetarian comes with challenges.  With that being said I didn't mean I'm missing out good food in life, I didn't mean it is hard for me to find good food anywhere I go.  The perception of good or bad is all in da head.  The challenges I am referring to are the challenges that human beings give me.  

Lets go back to when I was around 6 or 7 years old, during Christmas family and I will go back to Kampar my grandparents place to celebrate.  I remember this one year, we went over to grandparents friend's house for Christmas party.  Food was of course prepared, but me and my brother wouldn't eat.  One of the aunties came asking us, why don't you eat.  I answered her we don't eat meat.  She said oh why?  Jesus/God (I forgot which one) allowed us (Christians) to eat (meat).  She continued saying something like how can you not eat meat, you can't grow properly, yadda yadda yadda...  By the way, it was from then I started to hate Christians.  LOL.  Now, I don't hate them no more because not everyone is like that aunty.  ^^  

*My brother and I did not look like siblings when we're younger.  I'm big and he's sickly looking and skinny.  So ppl would comment something like see vegetarian is no good for children, look at him.  Then I would say, no look at me, I am just fine.  LOL.  

Even then at 6 or 7, my mother still allowed us to have KFC during school holidays when Heay and fam came visit us.  How weird huh?  She knows it will take us sometime to get use to not having meat, poultry, fish in our diet.    

Fast forward a bit to 8-9 years old, IN SCHOOL, that's where the fun starts.  We started to have more friends.  We eat together during break time.  There was once.  My classmate challenged me, he said, it will be ok for you to eat meat because you don't ACTUALLY kill them! (Ooh how smart)  You just eat.  At that time I was confused.  So I went home asked my dad why?  My dad said if all of us do not eat animals then those butchers would have nobody to kill for and no reason to kill...  And so I told myself, that will be how I would answer them back next time.

By the time I get to high school or college (can't remember), someone challenged me.  He said plants is ALSO living things and how could you kill them?  Ooh I was speechless then.  In my religion, animals have soul, animals feel pain, animals think...  Plants don't have soul.  There are somethings, ya just can't explain in English.  Hahahah.  Well yea.  =)

You are probably wondering why am I talking about this?  You are probably wondering why I call it challenges?

Last night, as I was chatting with baby.  This issue came up.  He's another person that asked me how is plants different?  How do you know plants don't feel pain?  I was feeling a bit offended at first but I was over it in no time.  No no, not coz he's my babe.  Just that, ppl have minds of their own, I cannot expect them to not wonder.  I am grateful that my best/good friends NEVER EVER questioned me, NEVER challenged me.  We respect each others beliefs.  We do not allow different beliefs to get in between our relationships.  ;)  

I call it challenges because ppl should maybe just try to understand.  Don't you think so?  AND stop asking me how do I know if plants don't feel pain.  lmao.  Nah seriously, I used to tell ppl I am a vegetarian because of religion.  Now, I tell ppl I am a vegetarian because that is my way of life.  I chose not to eat people's flesh, I chose not to kill for food.  Yea, I might kill a plant or two but.  It is my choice.  =)   

Though my baby challenged me.  He still respects my decision.  Just like I respect his.  We even joked said, I will stop eating food and start eating steels, iron, and diamonds.  LOL.  

Just a side note.  I used to hate Christians is because they are the only ones that go around telling ppl who to believe and what to eat.  I haven't seen any Muslims or Hindus telling me what to do.  However, after I moved to the states.  I met really awesome Christians, I used to go to church with my roommate Lisa during Thanksgiving or Easter.  They all know that I'm not one of them, yet they didn't try to get me to abandon my beliefs.  I mean I was in a church and not one person made comments about my religion.  =)  I thank them for changing my negative perceptions about Christians.  Thank you.  I am grateful.

So there!  I am a lacto-ovo!!!!!