I was so happy and on cloud nine earlier today. I was spending time with my family at starbucks, sippin on caffeine. I didn't have to rush to go somewhere, to do something, I had all the time in a day. I was so happy so close to being crazily happy. Hehehe.
But it was a short lived happiness, or may I say, my happiness is finished. I mean there are only so many times you could listen to your favorite song to boost your morale! There are only that much satisfaction you get from playing Restaurant City on fb. SO, where do I find happiness? You may say, look from within. Well, what if happiness doesn't exist within ME?
I am so tired of looking and looking for somethings, someone (including myself) to make me happy. Will it be okay to be not okay?
Sometimes I feel like, (the one sitting high up in the sky/heaven) is pushing me to my limits. He/she keeps pilling on s*** onto my already full plate! * I remember reading the new earth, in the book it says that if you could just acknowledge the unhappiness and do not try so hard to cover it or make it (unhappiness) go away, you will eventually be okay.* I don't know how not to focus so much on being unhappy at times.
Gosh, I am ranting, aren't I? Without realizing it too. Just thought I would talk about happiness. And til this now, I don't have a point. Is there any rules for say we have to be happy? Of course, one won't be a pleasant company if he/she is sulking (or lashing out) ALL THE TIME. But is it okay to be not okay?
Sigh, guess one of the other reason for me to work out is I want to obtain happiness. Physically yes I am going through restrictions and challenges every day. Emotionally, the feeling is accomplishment is rewarding.
Like seriously, what the hell am I rambling about?
My crush still remains as my crush.
I am also impatiently waiting for the return of Paul from NY to Oki!
Nope, Paul is not my crush. If you've read my previous entries. Paul is my long time friend.
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