Just wanna stop look listen

to my life.

My feet has been on the run. I hadn't had time to stop and look around. and to look into what's going on in my life... Feels like always on the go. Feels like I always have to rush somewhere. Feels like time isn't enough. For someone this might sounds ok, or good even. But it is not a good thing when there isn't enough time to properly finish a meal. It is not a good thing when I have to finish my lunch in front of a computer screen. I don't know, I haven't listen to the inner me. When I could finally pause for the end of the day, it was time for bed. :)

On the side:

I have two MEs. The new me and the old me. The new me is in my body, the one would wake up early every morning for a work out. The old me, which is in my mind, asking me why on earth would you wake up so early and loses precious sleep??? Even when I'm walking and breathing in new air, the old me would still bugging me about waking up early. Guess I can say it's a constant struggle between the old and new me. Just like today, if it wasn't because of heay, the old me would totally win the battle! Sunday morning right? Normal ppl would sleep in today, but not us. We got our asses up for a work out. hehehe thanks heay!

You guys I bought something really cute at the mall this afternoon. I wanna show it here. ;) I'm totally excited over owning this thing. You might have seen this toy in the mall or in someone else's car. The purpose of me buying this is for the calming effect it has on me. I thought I'd place it in my car so I won't get pissed off so easily while driving... BUTTTTTTTT this baby doesn't work in my car!!!!!! sigh. So now it is sitting on my desk as I'm typing away on this blog. =) The two leaves will move up down up down when it is exposed to sunlight or regular lights... =D I am so happy just talking about it. hehehehe

Since I've showed you somethin cute. I want you to see something really gross. hahahahah

You see the freakin cuts on my index finger???????? I got em during the weekend in Seremban where we worked more than 14 hours a day... I got it while preparing 800 welcome packs for our participants.

Guys, I thought this was gonna be a sentimental post... But it turned out with pictures and things and NOT quite that emo~ly.

Bored

Kekeke I stole this from one of those FB tag game.  Just coz I'm bored that's why I wanna do this!  Don't worry, I ain't gonna tag in anyway shape or form.  ;)

48 things about me!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
few days ago.  oh yea, last friday.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
LOL  ask anyone... I hate my handwriting.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT
I'm a lacto-ovo 

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
nope

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I totally would, coz I'm caring, I'm understanding, I give free hugs.  Who wouldn't wanna be my friend?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
sometimes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yea

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
yes yes yes!!!  bring me?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
bran & raisins.  Tho I hate raisins.  Ill still love you!!!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Gosh, who does that?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
chocolate, the darker, the better  ;)

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
ze hands.  you got a ring on?

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
white, lavender

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
stubbornness.  But that's also one of the things I love about me...  

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

not only one person.  I got TONS whom I miss....  you know you are tho.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Nah, I just did this for fun.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
black shorts.  bare feet.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Khalil Fong.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Ocean.  It makes me feel alive.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Babe

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
n/a

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football NOT soccer.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Black

28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nah

30. FAVORITE FOODS?
mama made

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
both yo

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED
Pathology, a complete waste of time

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
green tank top

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer DUH!  It allows me to be in two piece and hang out with my fav girl.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kiss kiss 

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
n/a

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
n/a

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Clutter and Butt and Fat  LOL

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
secret

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
didn't get to watch =( 

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
hmmmm

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
neither either

44. Where is the farthest you have been?
errrr

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
ain't got none

46 WHERE WERE U BORN
Ee to the Poh

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
n/a

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
least expected 

I had a point. I did.

I had a point, last night.  Thoughts flashing through my mind when I was half asleep.  I knew exactly what to say in this blog.

But now, I lost it all.  All I hear is the new thoughts in my head.  All I hear is the new songs on my playlist.  What prompted all these thoughts in my mind?  

This morning I got to work, I saw this look my coworker's face.  I asked, what's wrong?  He said today is the worst day of my life...  I asked, what happened?  He told me everything.  As he was telling me why...  all the old creepy feelings just came back to me.  It's non other than relationships challenges.  It gives me goose bumps.  I said to him no matter how many times we've been a relationship, no matter how many times we encounter heart breaks, the feeling will always be the same.  

Your heart is at the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle, no where to be found.  Your mind is occupied by so so many what ifs, what if he'd never done so, what if I'd never said that.  Your can't smile even if Russell Peters was on tv, you feel as if winter is never gonna turn into spring...  

Sometimes you'll ask yourself.  Dude, what the hell have I done to deserve this?  Yea, until this day.  I don't have an answer for that.  

Was talking to an old friend last night.  He brought me back down memory lane.  How we met was the funniest thing.  We still talk about it.  We still remember exactly how it happened.  lol.  It's a good laugh for the both of us.  You probably wouldn't believe we've only met twice since 2004.  No one remember how we became such close friends.  Ah~ I lied.  I still remember how I would call him up during the cold days in Chicago while I was waiting for my train home at Union Station.  How he would holla to see how I was doing with the bf (at that time).  Come to think of it.  The most memorable phone conversations took place during the coldest days in Chicago...  hahahha  Also during my Hawaii days.  Our communication was limited to only emails because he was out in the sea.  Cheers to good friends  ;)

Gettin late here.  This evening is pretty fruitful.  Get to chat with babe for ONE hour!!!  He has some decision to make which I am in no condition to help nor offer any suggestions.  He wants to buy a house!  

Half Assed

Something's over due.  Like putting up a new entry here.

And also blasting my Bose to my favorite party songs.  

Speaking of songs.  I got myself a new playlist on mEepod.  I got: cookie jar, mad, love remains the same, if i was a boy ft. R. Kelly (don't like the version without R Kels), how do you sleep, give me a try by Sizzla, where do you want me to put it, everybody knows, blame it, rockin that thang.  Some of it are new songs, some are old that I dug out from my old playlists. ;)  There are a few songs highly recommended!  They are in red.

~~~

Goofy things aside.  I have been psyching myself to get up early every morning and follow my mom to go for walks.  Past few weeks I was depressed.  Couldn't bring myself to get up early in the morning.  The only reason that made me get up is work.  Coz I HAD to.  I felt like I was losing control of everything.  I mean what good is your life when you have no motivation to get up in the morning, everyday???  I got to a point where I know Imma be so miserable and ppl around me is gon hate me for being so negative...  So I decided to do something about it.  First was to quit caffeine.  And it was done.  Not easy but DONE.  Now, it is waking up early.  I'm talking about 7am during weekdays and 630am during weekends.  I feel better as the days go by...  Getting up early allows me to have more time for things.  

~~~

Totally distracted from finishing this entry.  Coz a girlfriend of mine needed to talk.  She's all the way in Vegas...  So I need to give her time.  Poor thing.  I shall continue some other time.