Like a flip of a switch

Woke up this morning thinking its a Saturday. After about 3 minutes, I realized, NO IT AIN'T! Grrrr. This morning is beautiful, the temperature is lower than usual from the all nighter-rain. Uh huh. Who would wanna get outta bed? =)

So I got up late, while I was having breakfast, there was that annoying conversation that I could not avoid listening to. Wishing I could blink my eyes and I am somewhere peaceful. I hurried finished my breakfast, down my coffee and left home. Was thinking to myself, I need to get out of this funk mode because its a Monday and a long way to go til 730pm. What's a better voice to do it than my own? I made the corners of my lips curve upwards, put some sparkle in my eyes. Sure enough my mood changed instantaneously. and I am forever grateful for the ability to make myself happy.

I truly believe everyone has that ability as well, we just need to polish it up with practice. Always start small and light, eventually, we'll be able to deal with the "bigger stuff" with POISE.

When is it good enough?

I miss the states, this would be an understatement.

I was driving to work this morning and it dawn on me, I haven't been fair to the people who loves me. By me complaining, in a way, means they aren't good enough for me, this place isn't good enough for me. But who am I to complain? Am I good enough for my love ones? Am I contributing to my society? I really haven't been walking with my feet on the ground.

I'm back!

Err let's see my last post was in June 2010!? I've cheated on blogging with facebook, fb games and TWITTER! But we'll see how long I could blog from now on.

A lot had happened between June 2011 and May 2011 (bejesus, its been almost one full year). I got a new job, held it for only 4 months, and I went back to my old job. It's really insane. But I came back with a new perspective and a new goal. Feeling more content than ever. I've also turned 28 in January, it's probably one of the best things in life. Love bein 28, I am more focused, happier, working hard on self. And surrounding myself with positive people and positive thoughts. I can't explain how great this all feels.

An amazin event took place just two days ago, I wrote an email to Rina to apologize, she wrote back!!! And we've exchanged about 3 4 mails since. :D I am practicing the whole forgiveness thing, I am so on it!! I gotta forgive those who has hurt me in the past, I have to ask for forgiveness from people whom I might hurt before, lastly, I have to forgive myself. I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it!

Btw, Randy Gage freakin' ROCKS! Check out his blog and also check out his prosperity videos on YouTube peeps.

<3

Dream sequel

Last night, I had another dream about me in Bangkok -_- Could it be over, soon?
I don't know, I truly believe that my brainwave is still channeling that buddha temple that I don't get to visit. Pffff. It was a bright and shiny day in Bangkok, the sky was so blue. I passed by the temple, I saw a gold plated, huge buddha statue. Instantaneously, calm and peace took over my feelings, it felt good, and in reality, my day went by calmly as well. What are the odds?

I *heart* buddha

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I am still in the process of learning to let go of certain things. I believe this will be my life long lesson.
I love the smell of peppermint, rosemary and cypress...
Son by Four is on repeat on my playlist all day. Speaking of playlist, before iPod existed, 'playlist' doesn't exist, at least not in my dictionary. There are only about 4 songs. But I didn't get tired listening to them. They put me in this very nice state of mind.
Few nights ago, when I was half asleep, all these thoughts came into my mind, something I wanna blog about. As you can see, I couldn't remember any of it! lol That's why I am doing the rambling thing.

Dark, damp and disturbed

That's where I'm at. Again. It'll usually take a couple of days for me to come out of it.
It doesn't help that I saw Public Enemies a few days ago and I'm watching The Lake House now. They both have one thing in common, they were both set in Illinois, mainly Chicago too.
Man I miss it so much, the brutal winter, but I still love it. Chicago is a city full of magic, landscape, buildings, the city grids, really really white thick fluffy snow (before they plow it into a pile of ice), Union Station, Fitness Center that faces the river. and so much more.
Sometimes, I couldn't answer myself why I left Chicago. Sorry lemme rephrase it, Why the hell did I left Chicago.
Will it help if I stop watching The Lake House now? no.
I just wish I explored more when I was there. Going picture crazy like I did now. There isn't any turn back time right?
Oh and also, my favorite grocery store. Shopping at 1 in the morning :)
And Panera bread.
And the fake chinese take out.

Yea, I want to remember my favorite city that way.

JKT-KL-BKK-KL-JKT-KL all in 10 days.

It's been more than a week since I came home from traveling. This time around my traveling didn't involved packing up bikinis and sun screen, which I'd miss so much of it.

I started my journey May 11th to Jakarta, May 13th to KL, May 14th to Bangkok, May 16th to KL, May 17th back to Jakarta and finally home bound on May 20th. The hours that I had in KL was only to repack, two hours of sleep, and boom I'm on my way to the airport.

I had nightmares on several occasions since I came home. Once was about, I came back from traveling, went to the office, and my boss asked me, why are you here? Weren't you suppose to be 'somewhere'. I was thinking to myself, WHAT? I JUST came back and I hadn't have time to unpack and repack. This shit is crazy. In another dream, I arrived somewhere, took a cab and got to the hotel, only to realized, I DID NOT pick up my luggage from the airport!!!! Now just freakin great. Work is about to start and I have no change of clothes. Geeez.

Yes, I love traveling, lots and lots of traveling. But never once, did I not have enough resting time in between destinations.
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Jakarta is... insane, esp the traffic. There are like 20 over million population in just on city! It took me on average 1.5hr to get from one point to another. I kept thinking, why on earth are there so so so many cars in this city? But then I realized, DUH, try to jam ALL the cars in Malaysia in ONE city, that's what you get. INSANE TRAFFIC. Because if I'm not mistaken, Malaysia's population is 28 over million and in metro Jakarta alone is about 24 over million ppl. So yea. The rush hour in Jakarta lasts til about 9pm. lol. On my last night of my second trip in Jakarta, some coworkers took me out for dinner, the traffic was so bad, they suggested that we take 'ojek', I was like HELL NO, I ain't taking that, I'll like fall off and die. And they said, if we took 'ojek' it'll take like 3 mins for us to get to the mall, if we take a cab, it could take up to an hour. I said, I'd rather walk there! So sure enough, we started walking and it only take about 30mins to get to the dinner place. =) Yea, I was quite stubborn. lol I enjoyed it so much, I wouldn't have been able to walk the streets of Jakarta if there weren't any locals to do it with me. =) Very very stoked!

So like another thing about Jakarta that is truly interesting. In the city there is a highway, only cars with 3 passengers and above could take the route during certain hours. So during that certain hours, you will see people lining up alongside of the road, these ppl will actually get into your car IF you needed enough head count to use the highway. LOL. Like you have to PAY them to sit in your car through the highway. I couldn't believe my eyes and my ears when I learn that. I'd be damn happy if cab drivers would pay me to take me into KL.

Oh oh one more thing, so you probably already know Jakarta's traffic is insane (coz I kept talking about it). So like I rarely see traffic police directing traffic ya, what I saw was bunch of ppl "dedicated" themselves into doing just that. For example, in a T-junction, normally we would wait for our turn to cross the road or whatever right? In Jakarta, these ppl will help you to "stop" the coming traffic, and let you pass or go across or whatever. You're like ok, that's cool. BUT, the truth is, you have to pay these dedicated ppl some coins. LOL. That also happens, when you wanna use a short cut in the 'back alley'. It is totally mind blowing to me, how these guys are making a living. Well, you can choose not to pay them but really? Your car might get damaged or something. Nobody wants to take that chance.

Manila's traffic is crazy too, but I ain't see nothing yet until I saw Jakarta's traffic.
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Bangkok is cool. I been there once (for work), but I don't think I'll go back again. They like put fish sauce in all the dishes!!!!! Everywhere I go that all I could smell. One thing though, I didn't get to check out some temples. Bummer. Coz Temple makes me feel how insignificant I am, also, makes me feel content and calm. I *heart* temples, esp Buddhist temples =)
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All and all, it was a great experience, visiting my neighboring countries. I was fascinated by the vast differences we have in our culture and language even though, our countries are so close by on the map. ;)


p.s. If you ever have to go to Jakarta, the cab company that is trust worthy would be BlueBird Taxi. Please beware that not all BlueBirds are made the same.

Lines from The Angel's Game

So far these are my favorite lines from my currently favorite read.

- "I was beginning to consume more coffee and cigarettes than oxygen".
- "'Do you know the best thing about broken hearts?' the librarian asked.
I shook my head.
'They can only be broken once. The rest is just scratches'"
- ".... I took one of them (cigars) and lit it. It had an intense flavor that seemed to hold all the aromas and poisons a man could wish for in order to die in peace."

Esp the second one, almost brought me into tears. Because I couldn't agree more. I mean think about it...