How do you know you're old

How do you know that you're old? When do you actually find out that you're old? No no it is NOT when you can't run for five miles straight without feeling shitty about yourself because your knee hurts, you're running outta breath and etc. You know you're old when people that you know start having babies left and right!!! Your schoolmates, your classmates, your co-workers and everyone else you know. LOL.
YUP. You guessed right. I am feeling old or you could say I'm around "that age". LOL!!! It all started back in 2005. I found out one of my FSHN 185 (Introduction to Human Nutrition) classmates had a baby boy named Cody. Then in 2006, I found out that one of my classmates/T.A. was pregnant too!!! So sometime in 2006, another baby boy was born and his name is Kainoa. Finally in 2007, I got three pregnancy news. One was my classmate, two were my dorm mates. And guess what their due dates are so close as if they planned to get "sperminated" at the same time! So yea, two babies were born in July (same week), one was born in August. They are Archer, Kaia, and Kennedy.
Oh just when I thought the "baby boom" is over. I got a news that one of my ex coworker is pregnant AGAIN!!! Why did I capitalized AGAIN??? No big deal right to get pregnant? Well, she is capable of having babies alright. Her eldest son was born in 2004, second son was born in 2006, same month, in July. I seriously thought she won't be having more kids anytime soon. Who knows... Her third child's due date is April 2008.
I know there will be more babies to come. Just don't know from which ones of my lovely friends. =) To all the parents or parents to be out there, I wish you and your babies well!!!

Long term goals and short term goals.

What is your long term goal? What are your short term goals?? Do you even have one??? These are the questions I am contemplating right now. I want to set some goals for me.
Back in the days when I was still in school. One of our professors (I don't remember which class) asked us to list down some long and short term goals. It was hard for me to do so. I only had one goal at that time which is to graduate ^^ I made up the rest of it for assignment purposes. Alright my point here is. I have lived my life so far WITHOUT a plan. I didn't plan to attend certain college, I didn't plan to study overseas in Hawaii, I didn't plan to study Food Science and Human Nutrition, I just sorta "go with the flow". UNTIL NOW!!! That's why I said. I need goals, I need plans. I cannot live not knowing where I'll be next anymore. Well, at least this is how I feel now. :P
This is my plan. I will set small goals each day and accomplish them. Eventually I should get accustomed to having goals and maybe, just maybe I'll have a plan for my future....

PS. Been writing this blog for over an hour.... Got distracted. Lost my train of thought. Tried my best to convey my message.

Why did I chose to work?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?????????????? I don't want to work I want to travel!!! Well maybe not travel, how bout just get to US and chill with my friends, that I absolutely missed. I mean I am still happy about me having a job but I just realized I lost my freedom to just fly, yes I said fly, outta this country for a couple of weeks or months. Working is a responsibility that pays my bills and show other ppl what a grown up I am. Deep down, I still wanna play I still wanna party like a rock star. YEAH!!!!!!
When I first I got back here, I had a plan. A plan to visit my brother in Brisbane, one of the land I have not visit. Down under baby! Obviously it didn't freakin work out as planned. I even reserved my ticket for November, but the next thing I know. I'm on my way to work. FUCK. My contract with this job is one year. I will be patient and work hard for this one year and we'll see what happen next. I want to go back to Hawaii, I want to go back to Chicago. I wanna go back to Miami to party my ass off with hot brothers. I want to visit my brother. I want to go to Italy. There just so many wants and not enough money and TIME. Anywho, if you are reading this somewhere out there. Feel free to sponsor me ie. gimme some money, so poor me could fly outta here to any of those location mentioned above. Thank you!

Sadden...

Last Saturday was thought to be an exciting day, I had a date with two of my OLD best friends. I was a little excited, thinking we're gonna catch up like old times, you know? But did it turn out I way I wanted? NO. I felt so distanced and not connected. Maybe I'm just snobbish and didn't want to get acquainted with old friends. Yea maybe. In my opinion, we didn't have anything to talk about. Right now, I just want Erin, Effa, Rina, and Nora to be here.... =) I miss them so much!!!
Meeting my two old friends made me realized how much I miss Erin, Effa, Rina and Nora. Erin is in Hawaii right now, about to take her RD exam. GOOD LUCK GIRL!!! Rina is in Texas, battling with her boss in the hospital. GOOD LUCK RINA, I hope you could get over this issue soon. Don't pay no attention to them "kau" bitches. Effa is working in Putrajaya and puasa-ing, bet she's a bit out of it. Nora is in Penang, I hope to visit her soon. =)

I would like to be left alone

Human beings are interesting animals. We always want what we cannot have. I broke up with someone a while back. When we were together, he hardly sees my existence. Now that I left and no longer want anything from him. He kept calling and calling and calling day in day out, telling me he called because he misses me. All I can think of is what about when I needed you? I would love to tell him I'm over you now, just like what Chris Daughtry said.

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

Some of us girls just don't realize these things

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

Working. Again.

After couple months of counting my fingers and toes over and over again (ie no job, no school). This day has finally come. This day is the night before starting a brand new job. A job where I can honestly say I have not a clue of. I have a degree in Food Science and Human Nutrition, been working as a nuritionist in WIC clinic. Where I tell people (my clients included babies, children up to age 5, postpartum, pregnant and breastfeeding women) what to eat and what not to eat. Now come this day where I must dig out vague memories/information in molecular biology!!! I know I've learned some of it in my Biochem and Ochem classes, but where are they now? I am terrified yet excited because I get to read text books again. :) Haven't I told you? I love reading my biochem text books.
OK, back to my job. I will be working as a research assistant on some rice/padi project. The detail of it, I will let know later on when I figure it out, remember it, and can say it aloud. To tell you the truth, during the interview. I didn't understand words that came out from the professor's mouth. I only noded and noded, pretend I undestood?! However, I knew damn well she knew that I didn't have a clue LOL!! For this job, I didn't do any preparation yet but I did practice driving in a town full of idiotic, barbaric, selfish and traffic laws-ain't-nothin-but-shit drivers. Just this saturday, I managed to drive from home to my workplace. Well, the real test is tomorrow when EVERYBODY will be on the road trying to get to where they need to be. I can guarantee you there won't be any angels out on the road in Kuala Lumpur/PJ/Sunway/Subang/Kelana Jaya. Please pray to god that Heay and I will be safe on the road. =)
Thank you for your time. PEACE!