Too lazy to string em together

-- Peeps!  I'm ready!  I wanna be back into the game... of working out.  =D  My workout regime has been put on hold since I went on my vacation and sickness/weakness whole of last week.  Bleh.  Such a weak ass I tell ya.  SO, tomorrow will be a big day for me, I told ma, I gotta start from zero again... Stamina, determination and such  =(  

--  If I haven't already done so, would like to give a big hand to Facebook.  Because of it, I get to "see" the world through my friends' eyes.  Those who were fortunate to travel to different parts of the world or even just different parts of my country  =D  I thank you Facebook!  

--  How close do you have to be to someone?  To be able to feel someone's sorrow and restlessness.  For some reason, I feel (already) connected to someone whom I just met.  He did too.  Just like a few days ago, I was having a bad day, when I spoke to him on the phone he told me he was uneasy whole of that day too.  And today, he was having a bad day (but feel MUCH better after hearing my voice), it was my turn to feel restless.  Hmm... 

--  My back is starting to peel.  Will start wearing makeup again coz I'm not sick anymore!  I feel gorgeous!  Hardly need alcohol to feel happy this past two years.  Muahahaha!

--   Oh yea, I am thankful for health screening tests.  I now know for sure my cholesterol and LDL is on the high end.  Will do my best to bring em down like my dad did!  Go DAD!  Watch out for eggy, buttery, oily and tasty foods.  LOL

--  Enjoying the new love/lust package.  Feel like a million bucks all the time coz someone always tell me how much he misses me.  =p  I don't care if me and him is/isn't gonna turn into anything, just wanna enjoy it as much as I can now.

--  I had an image flashed through my mind yesterday.  The image of me being at my mother's age... 50-ish.  I was like damn.  Time is flying by at the speed of light, we better be present now, be aware before we look back at our lives and say shit I shoulda done this this and that!  My ma told me this the other day, she said:  We have plenty of time to sleep/rest when we're really really old, so before it's too late we gotta move more (be active) now!  Smart mother.

--  Seriously, I can't stop thinking about him.  I can't wipe the stupid grin off my face.  

--  I have not read a good book in a long time.  Got so much to do Monday through Friday, sometimes Saturday.  Can't choose between hanging out with fam and friends or hide out to read a book.  Susah lah.  Or sometimes I will forgo the idea of catching a movie, afraid to lose my day off spending two hours in the movies instead of two hours with human beings who loves me.  

--  Stomach is growling.  j.o.e. is on my current playlist, love him!  Knowing I have to be in bed by now.  Yet still up chatting with Heay.  Hmm...  

--  I love being older, we gain confidence as we age.  At least for me.  It is also best to surround yourself with positive ppl, with ppl who is full of energy!  ^^  

-- okay okay closing up now.  Today is one of the few days that I didn't have the urge of turning on my laptop to see, tried to be IT-free best that I could.  Now now, blogging is an entire different reason to be here.  =p

Lang Tengah/ Nemo

If Hanging Bikini Tops was a shop, it woulda been shut down a looooong time ago!  ;)  What shop would only open once a month right?  LOL  Well thank god it isn't, a shop.  

Exactly one week ago, Jinn Lin, her sis, her sis bf and I went to Lang Tengah.  It was probably one of the best vacation I had so far.  I went into the jungle, "into" the ocean, waited for sea turtles to lay eggs on shore, and I even saw "blue sand".  =)  I had so much fun!  I did kayak and snorkeling for the very first time.  Never in my dreams thought I would kayak nor snorkel!  So yea, I'm pretty proud of me.  If y'all know me, I love the beach stuff but not so much water activities.  But this trip opened my eyes and my mind.  It also helps a lot that we had really awesome snorkeling guides, boatmen, whom also brought us for night jungle walk.  I almost saw sunrise too, but it requires a lil rock climbing so I said Nah forget bout it.  Hehehe.  

The snorkeling part is the most fascinating.  When I was submerged in the ocean, I was all alone with the nature, the under sea kingdom.  The ocean lives are vastly different from what we see on dry land.  The corals, the color of the fishes, shapes of lives underneath is breathtaking.  When the light rays shines through the sea, lighting up our lives.  We learned how to breathe in the water with proper equipment, how amazing!  When I was in the water, the whole world slows down.  As if only those creatures and god are watching me.  Scary at times but it is nonetheless good for my soul.  Being with the ocean livings, the impact of how we should love our one and only earth is much deeper.  You do not need a thousand books and commercials telling how to love our mother earth.  Go snorkeling once, and you'll know.  If the ocean is not within your arms reach, go see "Nemo" it is as close and as real as you can get.  Seriously.  The maker of "Nemo" has done an excellent job.  

We saw baby sharks and sea turtles, thanks to our snorkeling guide, Ad.  Yes his name is, just, AD.  

When I wasn't being bombarded by the awesomeness of mother nature.  I was surrounded with love, wholesome love.  Holding hands in the water, swimming away together.  Cradled by the hammock by the sea with him next to me.  Sharing/sitting on a rock by the beach watching the night glows.  Occasionally (twice for me) seeing shooting stars pass us by.  =)  How freakin romantic right!  Yea, I did all that.  What a trip!  Totally wasn't expecting it.  I should be going back very soon to see him again.  ^^  Just could not believe the magical things that happened on that island.  

Oh boy, I have so so many stories to tell.  Just wanna say, go experience it yourself, at least once.  Do not be afraid.  I went into the sea without a life vest on the second time around.  Might seem stupid to some of you, but the freedom you get without the restriction of a life vest is priceless.  I was paddling around in my bikini, flippers and mask.  If I could fly, I think that's what it would feel like.  Free and blissful.  

One month since the last time I wrote anything on here.  One month worth of stress and stress and stress.  It all went away the moment I jumped into the water.  This trip worth every single penny I paid for and I didn't even spend that much for it.  498MYR for E-very-thing!!!  Wanna know how much that is in USD?  Divide that with 3.5 (roughly) ;)

p.s.  I will think twice/thrice before I use another Ziplock Bag.  

Happiness

Is there such thing as "finishable" happiness?  I say/think YES.  

I was so happy and on cloud nine earlier today.  I was spending time with my family at starbucks, sippin on caffeine.  I didn't have to rush to go somewhere, to do something, I had all the time in a day.  I was so happy so close to being crazily happy.  Hehehe.

But it was a short lived happiness, or may I say, my happiness is finished.  I mean there are only so many times you could listen to your favorite song to boost your morale!  There are only that much satisfaction you get from playing Restaurant City on fb.  SO, where do I find happiness?  You may say, look from within.  Well, what if happiness doesn't exist within ME?  

I am so tired of looking and looking for somethings, someone (including myself) to make me happy.  Will it be okay to be not okay?  

Sometimes I feel like, (the one sitting high up in the sky/heaven) is pushing me to my limits.  He/she keeps pilling on s*** onto my already full plate! * I remember reading the new earth, in the book it says that if you could just acknowledge the unhappiness and do not try so hard to cover it or make it (unhappiness) go away, you will eventually be okay.*  I don't know how not to focus so much on being unhappy at times.  

Gosh, I am ranting, aren't I?  Without realizing it too.  Just thought I would talk about happiness.  And til this now, I don't have a point.  Is there any rules for say we have to be happy?  Of course, one won't be a pleasant company if he/she is sulking (or lashing out) ALL THE TIME.  But is it okay to be not okay?  

Sigh, guess one of the other reason for me to work out is I want to obtain happiness.  Physically yes I am going through restrictions and challenges every day.  Emotionally, the feeling is accomplishment is rewarding.        

Like seriously, what the hell am I rambling about?

My crush still remains as my crush.  

I am also impatiently waiting for the return of Paul from NY to Oki!  

Nope, Paul is not my crush.  If you've read my previous entries.  Paul is my long time friend.

Unusual weather and all

The breeze outside my window is heavenly.  Soft and warm.  But is this a sign of rain?  Rain or (moon) shine, I wanna move my lounge chair out to the middle of my mom's garden and soak up all the goodness god gives.  =)  

Today was a busy day as usual.  I gave my all so that made me feel good.  

I have a crush on someone.  :p  Never felt this way for someone.  NEVER.

Errmm, he doesn't know about it.  =)  And I'd like to keep it that way for now.  Let me enjoy the feeling of "crushing" on someone.  Oh, that someone, put a smile on my face every single time I see him.  I like  ;)  

I was insulted, tonight, through a phone, by a son of a bitch.  His name is N.V. A. P** H***.  Allow me to say this, he is a fucking ass-wipe piece of shitty-shit son of a fuckin biatch!  There I said it!  I was so angry, my face was burning red (told by my coworker) and I cried.  Because of that ass wipe!  I felt threatened then, as if I was talking to a drunk mob.  Awful experience.  

Fell in love with another Rihanna's song ~Hatin on the club~  =D  

Finally, I kept up with working out.  I could run two small rounds without stopping, some kind achievement for me, considering I never include running as my exercise routine.  Something to be proud of  ;)  hahahaha  Pray for me for additional strength and determination.  

It is 1225am  I should clock out now.

Dreams I had

Numerous occasions I dreamt of the blue ocean.  How the ocean smells like in memory and in my dreams....

I wanna work towards making one of my dreams come true.  Which to live in a city next to the sea.  Now, I don't know where this place is.  I'm sure I'll find it one day.  I don't think it'll be Hawaii.  Coz hawaii is not big enough of a city for me.  ;)  

Boy, I wanna just go back to bed, back to my sweet dream of the sea and the sand....  Ocean mist, ocean's blue and green makes me feel alive.

Another...

Another pothole that hurts me like a mo-fo.

When I thought I could stand up and keep walking forward...  well I thought wrong.  

One's happiness could turn into my sore sore sore...

Since when that was ok?  Disgusted.

Plans have been made, lives that have been brought into this world...  

I, feel, inadequate for any of it.  

Something needs to be done.  But could it?  

Wee hours, pages and pages of pages were browsed through...

Searching, longing for a sense of, a sense of...

Wee hours, reading a beautiful poem from an old friend...

He titled it "Questioning the Question"

Sadness slowly creeps in.

Could it be a sense of sadness I was longing for?  Searching for?

Fresh tears are warm

The beating heart though, has lost its warmth a while back.

A microwave might be handy for me, if you know what I mean...

Another rainy season that dampens my mood.

Sigh.

Just wanna stop look listen

to my life.

My feet has been on the run. I hadn't had time to stop and look around. and to look into what's going on in my life... Feels like always on the go. Feels like I always have to rush somewhere. Feels like time isn't enough. For someone this might sounds ok, or good even. But it is not a good thing when there isn't enough time to properly finish a meal. It is not a good thing when I have to finish my lunch in front of a computer screen. I don't know, I haven't listen to the inner me. When I could finally pause for the end of the day, it was time for bed. :)

On the side:

I have two MEs. The new me and the old me. The new me is in my body, the one would wake up early every morning for a work out. The old me, which is in my mind, asking me why on earth would you wake up so early and loses precious sleep??? Even when I'm walking and breathing in new air, the old me would still bugging me about waking up early. Guess I can say it's a constant struggle between the old and new me. Just like today, if it wasn't because of heay, the old me would totally win the battle! Sunday morning right? Normal ppl would sleep in today, but not us. We got our asses up for a work out. hehehe thanks heay!

You guys I bought something really cute at the mall this afternoon. I wanna show it here. ;) I'm totally excited over owning this thing. You might have seen this toy in the mall or in someone else's car. The purpose of me buying this is for the calming effect it has on me. I thought I'd place it in my car so I won't get pissed off so easily while driving... BUTTTTTTTT this baby doesn't work in my car!!!!!! sigh. So now it is sitting on my desk as I'm typing away on this blog. =) The two leaves will move up down up down when it is exposed to sunlight or regular lights... =D I am so happy just talking about it. hehehehe

Since I've showed you somethin cute. I want you to see something really gross. hahahahah

You see the freakin cuts on my index finger???????? I got em during the weekend in Seremban where we worked more than 14 hours a day... I got it while preparing 800 welcome packs for our participants.

Guys, I thought this was gonna be a sentimental post... But it turned out with pictures and things and NOT quite that emo~ly.