Still is August 9th 2008

As I was plucking my eyebrows and listening to Natalie Cole, so many thoughts ran through my mind.  

Uno:  Someone from my past called me twice today using private numbers.  I didn't pick up because I know it's him.  There is nothing more to say or to do getting me back...

Dos:  Someone was in a little bit of crisis today and I didn't manage to call her up.  I feel deeply sorry.  She is my best friend, I couldn't even be there for her, call her, talk to her.

Tres:  The reason why I couldn't get in touch with her...  I was stuck in this STUPID "save the earth" exhibition.  Gosh, how I wish my parents didn't force me to tag along.  The event, I have four words for them: good intention, HORRIBLE planning.

Cuatro: When can some of us really learn how to let go of something we couldn't control?  Why some of us are just so dense in the head?  How old are you now?  How many times have you been through this?  AND ya still didn't learn.

Cinco:  I enjoyed today very much.  Get to watch TV undisturbed.  Did the channel cruising thing.  Finally settled on The X-file (old) and KLS: Life in the fab lane marathon.  I absolutely love this show.

Sies:  Tomorrow got so so much to do.  My sister requested (pizza or macaroni & cheese, or spaghetti or macaroni salad) that I will cook for her.  I have this proposal to be finished!!!!!  UGGHHHHH!!!!  For work of course.  In other words, I get to stay home all day tomorrow YEAY! 

Siete:  Pray for Rina, Erin, Heay Jason and baby.  Hoping they could be as strong as they can be.  Hoping Jason would choose to go back to Saipan.  Wishing baby all the happiness in the world.

Ocho:  2008 Olympic Opening Ceremony in Beijing was FANTASTIC!  It got me so excited.  I get to see the countries (ppl) that I've never heard.  Hey, I want to wish our very own athletes all the best.  I know there are only 27 of y'all but you know you're the best in what you do.  =)  No one could take that away from you.  Just believe.  Special shout out to our Badminton players!!!!  Make ya mama proud.  ^^  

Nueve: Karma is a BITCH.  Watch out peeps.  

08.08.08

People from all over the world has been waiting on this day's arrival.  It is here now.  

We shall see...

How can you mend a broken heart?

How can I ever thank them enough?  What can I do to show them my appreciation?  I believe buying them teh ice every afternoon is not enough.  They are always there for me.  Even when they don't really wanna hear from me.  LOL.  Someone describe me as the rose amongst thorns...  If it wasn't for them, how could I ever be that rose?  Oh yea, I am not talking about Ribena and Tang.  

They are my bunch of joy.  They are my cheer leaders.  They are my family.  As long as we work together, we will stick together, just like families do.  

I felt sad this evening.  I wish I didn't have to choose between my family and my love.  On top of that, my baby told me tonight, he said I love you so much and I'm very happy to be with you, but you never have enough time for me...  There is not one guy who have said this to me.  It will usually be me smothering them, it will usually be me take up too much of their personal space.  It definitely is different this time around.  My baby told me, he is glad that he'd discovered me.  My baby told me, his life is complete because of me.  There is not one guy who have said it to me.  He said to me, baby there will be a time where you have to leave your family to make your own...  I said I know.  Ray said he doesn't know what he'll be without me.  But I know deep down, he will do just fine without me...  I also know, men have change of hearts quicker than they drop they boxers.  We'll never know.  If he sees this, he'll surely be pissed off.  =)  My babe. 

How can you mend a broken heart?  This is D song I listened to when I was dumped at the age of 19.  Over and over again.  Cried to it countless times.  Thinking to myself, who can mend my broken heart?  Will kicking the shit out of him make it better? Haha~  It all seems so silly now.  As we age, our "mending" process get more refine as well.  Dontcha think?  One question I would never ask again is why?  This is the question no one should ever ask.  =)  I learned that when someone stop loving you, asking why will not speed up you mending process.  I learned that when someone stop loving you, asking why will not make that person love you again.  

12:26am.  Signaling time for bed.  Feel better will ya?

Heaven -- Jamie Foxx

Tell me have you heard the story
That took place not long ago
Bout an angel up in heaven
They say she up and ran away from home

Word is she had unfinished business
So back on earth she had to flee
Well you know I'm so elated
Because she's laying right here next to me

And when God woke up that morning
And he called out her name
And when she did not answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the same

Always dreamed that it would happen
I just didn't know exactly when
All my life I'd been waiting for something amazing
Said it took a while but now I know
So tell me can I get a witness
If you believe in miracles
And the proof I have is living
And my life will never ever be
And your life don't have to be the...

At times it seems we take for granted
How precious life can be...ooh ooh yeah
Just hold on and I'm sure you'll understand it
Bringing into this world
A precious boy or a girl and when God
woke up that morning
Said where did my little angel go
And when she didn't an...answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the....same
Yeah....Yeah

Playlist is on repeat, yet again.  Tonight I'll be going to bed with this song...  Night!

What's the fuss???

My Gmail status quote:"I'm sick of this shit".  

What am I sick of?  

People putting poison in what they say.  

Going through this* every month!!!!!!!!  Puta, worse than a woman's PMS.  

*As in Tang asking so what do you do everyday at work?  Like shit you don't know what we have to do everyday.  Do we have to tell you every month????  And Tang saying he ain't satisfied with our work performance.  Well honey, loads of shit that we do you don't even know what's going on.  Also, now that someone is gone from our team, Ribena's performance is total shit too.  Why don'tcha go talk to you little sidekick.

Hmm...  Apparently Tang "found out" that someone check they private email at work.  I admit that person is fucking me.  And I also know Ribena is the one who told Tang!  So I do, I check my emails at work.  I do do other things at work.  However, I have a god damn valid reason to do so.  I NEED TO GET MY MIND OFF WORK.  There!  

To me it's like c'mon.  We are all grown adults, old ppl even.  If you have something to say, please say in it in my fucking face.  There is no need to get through... hmm say two ppl to pass on the message.  Plus, you will give me a chance to throw it right back atcha!  Stupid.  

Back to the story.  Ya seriously think Imma be at work for EIGHT hours a day and don't check my personal email????  I know I know, ya expect me to read up work related crap for self improvement yadda yadda.  Well let me put it out there.  If you want to have SANE employees, you just better keep ya mouth zipped.  Plus, we don't get our ONE hour lunch EVERYDAY stated on contract anyways....  We didn't complain about that to your face, so what's the fuss Tang?  Moreover, you didn't pay us one and one half for our OT.  Did we complain about it?  NOOOOOOO.  So what's the fuss Tang?  We didn't complain about your unpredictable mood swings, so what's the fuss Tang?  We didn't complain about you being swayed by someone, so what's the fuss?  

I wanna love again-- Natalie Cole

Ah baby
How do I start? Where do I begin?
I've been hurt so much. I just need a friend
Could it be you? Will you break through these walls?
Are you willing to help them fall?

Chorus:
I want to love again, but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want love again and this time with you

I didn't know that this would be so hard for me
Being this close to you is driving me crazy
My mind says no oh but my body says yes
You make one move and I'll do the rest

I want to love again, but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want to love again and this time with you

Bridge:
Oh it's been so long since I've seen your face
And I'm just trying to be strong, oh but I think about you everyday
And it makes me weak when I see your face
I guess it means I'm in a different space
Cause I wanna love again and this time with you

I want to love again but I'm afraid to
I want to trust again
But my heart says not to
Your every smile, your gentle, gentle touch makes me weak
I want you so much
I want to love again, please let me love again, I want to love again
And this time with you
I just wanna love again with you

I am feeling this song, brought lil tears to my eyes.  First heard this song from a movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman.  Beautiful movie, if you haven't, please spend some time watching this movie.  It came out back in 2005 or 2006 I can't remember.  It makes ya laugh, it makes ya heart melt, it makes ya angry, it makes ya wanna dance,  it makes me realize I can forgive...  Hey, no worries, you ain't gotta be black to understand this movie k?  =P  If you're a woman that has gone through a lot, you will feel what I feel.  Ain't gon say nothin about if men could understand...  lol.  =)

Best to be in bed by now.  So I will see y'all later.  I'm gonna make it a point to be up early tomorrow, I mean today.  And I'm real excited coz I get to have lunch with Effa!!!!!  YEAY!!!  =)  Haven't seen her in a while yo.  Got lotsa ketchup to do. 

Oh yea of course, I saw my baby today.  He asked me questions.  Baby when you want to get married?  Will you marry me within this year?  I know we're getting older and all but I honestly have no idea when to get married????  and for that matter, why do you marry someone?  Just coz you love him/her?  Just coz that's what you're suppose to do?  Man, I got no clue.  Ngeh, let's not worry about it until I have to cross that bridge.  That's if I ever get the chance to cross the marriage bridge.  Hmm...

NIGHT!

Pictures

Hmm... After we had bfast at Pelita.


Zaidi said I look nice in this picture. Hehehe


Me, Gary and Hanafi.


@ Saisaki, farewell dinner for Mak!


GO TEAM!


The best ice kacang in the world. From Kampar.


Me and mie at Lumut. Getting ready to get in da pool yo.


Mie and me playing around with my camera.


Love Fannie May's chocolate