Who did you hug today?

I miss hugging ppl.  I miss the feeling of being wrapped around by someone's arms...

The ppl who I hug these days are less than the number of fingers on my right hand.

The person I hugged most is none other than my baby sister.  :)

Well you can say that hugging friends and family is not a culture in Malaysia.  I was watching the last episode of The Gem of Life with my mom tonight.  There were a few hugging scenes, yes it was just acting but it reminds me that eastern asians don't give real hugs or what some ppl would say "bear hug".  I love hugging ppl.  Just that I can't go around hugging ppl here.  So who do I get to hug besides mei?  They are my two beloved coworkers and Effa.  Yup that is it!  I get to hug Effa is coz we both understands the hugging "culture" lol.  

I miss me some heart felt hugs.  

I miss me some warm and fuzzy hugs.  

I miss those hugs that could tell you so long as you're in my arms, you're okay... 

When I was in Hawaii, not only did we get hugs, we also get a kiss on the cheek during greetings from almost everyone.  Yea... even the cute guy who is NOT your man.  Hehehe

You know when I say hugs, it doesn't solely meant for opposite gender.  Even hugs from my good friends could mean the world to me.  yup.  I love hugs.  =)  So the next time you see me, don't be afraid to give me a hug.  Well unless you're extremely allergic to human contact!

Rossa -- Aku Bukan Untukmu

I saw this song's video on Heay's blog. Following is the lyrics to the song...

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun tak pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku
Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku
Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku
Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku
Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku

Such a beautiful sad song. When I have more time, I'll try to translate it. ;) Now, if you wanna check out this MV go to Heay's blog then!

Bits and pieces

Today started out ok, but it ended leaving me all warm and fuzzy.  I remember when my brother and I were still young, my dad would drive us into town on sunday nights (back then KL wasn't so crowded with ppl and cars and polluted air) to see tall buildings and lights...  He probably had known that we didn't want our weekends to end and that we resent going to school the next day.  So that was his way of taking our minds off school for a little while.  My brother and I appreciated it even though we didn't know how to tell my dad so.  =)  Those were countless sunday nights that brother and I enjoyed, same town, same lights and the same buildings...   

Just like old days, we went downtown for dinner somewhere around Jln Pudu.  It was the same feeling I had on our way home, there were laughters, there were chattering in the very same city.  =)  On top of sunday nights, my dad would also take us out if either of us is having an exam the next day!  Cool eh?  

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Ice cream Ice cream Ice cream was totally on my mind today.  Part of the reason, weather being so damn hot.  When we got home from dinner, brother, mei and I went right back out, to Mid Valley to get I SCREAM.  Specifically Haagen Dazs baby!  It almost never happened where we would go all the way to MV just to get ice cream, it's all fun, it's all good.

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Though life is definitely moving forward.  But I can't stop a lot of old feelings and memories from coming back.  Esp of certain ppl and certain places.  Those who have loved me and those who have once dissolved me into pieces.  A city that had given me so so many wonderful memories...  Guys please let me say it, I MISS CHICAGO LIKE CRAZY.  If Chicago was a person, I wanna say that my love for Chicago will never ever change (don't tell me never say never, I don't buy that).  And Chicago would probably thinks I'm stalking her.  ;)  It's February, still pretty cold over there.  I heard it was snowing on Valentine's Day.  There are a few ppl I wanna shout out to, Nancy, Evvy, Elyna, Flor, Daisy and Alicia!  I love you girls.  And Erin, take good care coz the future is still awaiting.  Love you very very much darlin!  I could go on and on and on about Chicago, I'll spare you from all that today. 

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Also wanna thank Heay for coming by even though she's still not feelin very well.  =)  I enjoy hanging out with you cuz!  

Never have I

... felt so disappointed at work, from work and about work.  I mean never, not even when I was in Chicago.  

It is a feeling no one deserves.  I'd like to think that I'm doing my best, giving my all to work.  To a point where I don't think I have a life.  Today, both my boys were called for a meeting and I was alone jaga-ing the counter.  The meeting lasted, ohh, forever.  When they were back from the meeting, they wouldn't tell me what was discussed.  Until finally I forced one of them to.

Him:  Your boss said starting from now, on the last saturday of the month, all three of us have to work from 1030 to 730.

Me:  Fucking shit, I couldn't believe this.

Him: Yea, we'll be paid only 50 bucks for that.

Me:  You gotta be kidding me!!!!!

Him:  ...

Me: I can't believe this shit.

A little bit of the background.  We started rotating on saturdays that at least one of us will be in the office from only 3-6.  AND on every third saturday of the week, we have an all day event elsewhere.  So basically, we were already working two sats of every month.  NOW, they gon make us work three sats!!!!  I AM EFFIN PISSED.  The four words are the least to describe how I feel right now.  

Neways, I can't help it but called my mother.  I practically screamed into her poor ear telling her how angry I am, how disappointed I am.  I know I know, I know what's behind the whole effin ordeal.  The economics bad right now, so they are milking us the best they could.  My mama managed to calm my hot tempered self.  Don't let me get started on bonuses and increments.  These two words do fucking not exist in my boss's dictionary!!!!!

I can accept if you don't wanna pay us more for whatever reasons.  I do.  But *boss* could at least treat us with more respect.  Don't treat us like animals as if we don't have feelings, as if we don't need time for ourselves.  We are totally under paid (yes I said it).  And now, *boss* wants to start working us like fucking dogs.  Damn, did I tell you how angry am I?

I will take on my mother's advice which is to start looking for another job!  Wish me luck.  I do not respect anyone who doesn't respect me and my boys.  From now on, like hell I'm gonna give my 100% at work and do to this shitty ass job.