Hanging Bikini Tops

Am I that person

2011-07-01T23:22:00.003+08:00

In my last post, I said even if I die today, I would have no regret because.... well you can read my last post.

I have all these wonderful people around me. The big question is, am I that person for the people around me? Am I that person my family and friends feel glad to have? Am I that person who made my friends feel that they could count on me to hold their feet if they ever drown in the ocean? Am a mentor others seek for?

I will do better in being that for you.

If I die today, I would have no regrets

2011-06-29T17:16:00.003+08:00

I had a thought the other day... If I die today, I would have no regrets

I have the best family anyone alive could ask for

My papa and mama provided me with everything and more

Roof above my head, sturdy four walls, heart warming meals (every single day), ermm... and a hot ride

I have the best mentor, they are my guardian angels

I have the bestest friends, whom will hold my feet when I drown like how Cristina did for Meredith

I live in the best neighborhood, again big thanks to papa and mama

I am very comfortable in my own skin

I love who I am, I am content

I love that I love me more and more each day

I am happy everyday... What more could I ask for?

Leave it and come back later

2011-06-23T14:58:00.004+08:00

I found this is especially useful when I'm stuck at somethings. Rather than sitting there scratching my head and feeling miserable & stupid, I would stand up and walk away. Come back later (reasonable amount of time, of course) to solve the scalp scratching problem. :)

I do this for when I'm playing jig saw puzzles as well. Viewing the puzzle from a different angle and height make a big difference!

Long Lonely Journey

2011-06-22T14:22:00.002+08:00

I said it the other day

"Certain paths in our lives are meant to be walked alone".

I am okay with walking alone.

No one would understand what I go through sometimes, even if they tried to hear me out. Most of the times, they aren't paid to listen to my problems. Nor are they paid to help me solve my problems. So I get it now, the path to the top could be very lonely. Unless I have a great mentor, which lucky for me, I think I do. :) Yet I can't rely on my mentor all the time, I could only go to that person when I absolutely need it.

On the brighter side of this note is, I will get better in what I do. There is only one way, UP.

I saw a quote from Jamie today, "breakdowns are prequels to breakthroughs", after what happened today, I am a firm believer of this quote.

These Three Words

2011-06-16T00:37:00.004+08:00

Its an open love letter to you, my love.

The night I met you for the first time
It feels like a dream sometime
This dream tho it is so real
Each and every senses of mine is oh so fulfilled

The evening I met you for the second time
It feels less like a dream
It felt more like
Finally get to see you after a decade of hoping and wishing

Whenever you speak you
Chose your words wisely
That's only one of the many qualities I love about you

Whenever you lay your hands on my warm skin
I feel like my world can only get better from here
That's definitely only one of the many things you do for me that I love

I may never love again
Like how I love you
May it be in Chi town or in paradise
I love you the same

The minutes and the seconds I got to spend with you
I cherish
I revisit
I yearn to relive

But over the years
I have learned a great deal about letting go
I have learned a great deal about loving you a different way
Oh I don't want to let go
Oh I want to keep learnin'

Like I always say...
Life as such

----------------------------

I named it "These Three Words" is because it is the song that was playing in the background when I heard the most moving and encouraging voice message that inspired this letter.

Fixation

2011-06-06T22:22:00.002+08:00

By getting rid of my online games, I am in a big away, getting rid of my fixation as well. These fixation are hindering me from dealing with the real problems. It was so easy to migrate my mind and my focus onto games, as soon as my mind detects the presence of an issue.

My dad once asked me, what is the reason behind spending time on online games. I told my dad without a shadow of a doubt that, it is for relaxation. My dad did not pursue further.

But really? For relaxation and de-stress? A big fat lie I told myself. It takes more courage to face the real world with real issues than picking vegetables from virtual farm plots.

I am not against those games. Just that I have to stop, for me. Because it has gotten to a point where I almost arrange my day around those stupid games. lol. Until I told myself to snap out of it! I am in charge of my life, not the games.

*This is a picture of my sister and my brother. They make me happy, I am grateful for them being in my life! =D

Say goodbye to Cityville.

2011-06-04T21:02:00.003+08:00

What would we be without goals, big or small. Goals, beside being goals, could also be like milestones for some of us.

I am into facebook online games, like Restaurant City and Cityville, and Empire Avenue (you get to buy and sell your friends). These games, in order to pull you in and make you keep playing them, they keep giving you missions and goals to accomplish. You could really get sucked into these games... :) I am one of them. But few days ago, I started feeling tired of it, what is the purpose of me fulfilling these "virtual" goals when I can make and achieve real goals in real life?! So I have decided to quit playing.

Without goals in life, we would be living our lives blindly and just living through motions... And one day we realized we are about to leave this earth and we hadn't done anything meaningful or at least meaningful in our own terms.

I know what I wanted to express is more than these few words here but I don't have the vocab to elaborate 'em further. It is how I feel at that moment, that is still so profound to me.

What can I do for you?

2011-05-24T22:37:00.004+08:00

That would be what I said after I answered a call with "Hello", I can't help it. Or if I didn't say that, it would be "How may I help you?". Even if its a phone call from family or friends. As if when they call me, is to ask for help or something. I caught myself doing so a while now... I don't know if they feel offended? I don't know if I'm coming off as "hurry up and say what you're calling me for" "rude" "impatient" etc. Shucks! Like tonight, my mother called, asking me where I'm at and what not, I asked her what can I do for you. Turns out, she did wanted me to get some snacks for my sister. Haha.

I really can't help it.

With my line of work as Customer Service, that's all I do. Asking whoever that we've come across at work, how may I help? What can I do? My brain doesn't differentiate between a work phone and a cellphone. Heck! Even some work related people be calling up my cell. lol.

This being said, I sometimes feel that my sole purpose on this earth is to 'serve', if you will, not in the holy or godly kind. But serving nonetheless. I don't even know if they are related: the way I answered my phone calls and 'serving'.

.................................

Saw a comment today. It says, and I quote "I'm not God, but I can tell you we weren't put here on earth to sit behind a desk."

At first, this jumps out at me as a very cocky comment. I am a little offended coz I AM working a "behind the desk" kinda job. The more I think about it, I got even more upset. Simply because the person who says this may have a luxurious life that most people don't. Like me, I do not have the luxury to not work, and just so happened I chose the "behind the desk" kind. Seriously, if it weren't for the "behind the desk" people, the world might not be functioning the way it is right now. It could be better, or the world could be not functioning at all! Who knows! Kay, let's explore further, say bank, bank teller is "behind the desk" yes? So without them, most of the work can't be done. Oh, btw, the CIMB bank branch in The Gardens, I am forever grateful for them, they open on Saturday AND Sunday!!! Say street cleaner, not literally "behind the desk' but the idea is the same. Without them, we WON'T have cleaner, more tolerable streets. Say delivery guys, without them, will the stuff that you ordered from outside of the country miraculously appears on your door step? No. Say WIC, my previous job, I was a Nutritionist, I see less fortunate, lower income group of women and I distribute food coupons for them to get some free food, and free formula for infants. That was a "behind the desk" kinda job, but without us at WIC, a lot of women and infants might be starving. I've seen so many sad cases, WIC is not a long term solution, but we are great helping hands even if its just for a little while...

FYI, "behind the desk" people aren't stupid people. We simply choose a different path. Also things might change for us down the road, everything is about timing right?

I could go on and on about it. In the end, I still think that comment is fucking obnoxious, cocky and rude. Don't like what I said? Y'all kiss my ass for all I care.

Like a flip of a switch

2011-05-23T12:30:00.003+08:00

Woke up this morning thinking its a Saturday. After about 3 minutes, I realized, NO IT AIN'T! Grrrr. This morning is beautiful, the temperature is lower than usual from the all nighter-rain. Uh huh. Who would wanna get outta bed? =)

So I got up late, while I was having breakfast, there was that annoying conversation that I could not avoid listening to. Wishing I could blink my eyes and I am somewhere peaceful. I hurried finished my breakfast, down my coffee and left home. Was thinking to myself, I need to get out of this funk mode because its a Monday and a long way to go til 730pm. What's a better voice to do it than my own? I made the corners of my lips curve upwards, put some sparkle in my eyes. Sure enough my mood changed instantaneously. and I am forever grateful for the ability to make myself happy.

I truly believe everyone has that ability as well, we just need to polish it up with practice. Always start small and light, eventually, we'll be able to deal with the "bigger stuff" with POISE.

When is it good enough?

2011-05-19T18:56:00.005+08:00

I miss the states, this would be an understatement.

I was driving to work this morning and it dawn on me, I haven't been fair to the people who loves me. By me complaining, in a way, means they aren't good enough for me, this place isn't good enough for me. But who am I to complain? Am I good enough for my love ones? Am I contributing to my society? I really haven't been walking with my feet on the ground.

I'm back!

2011-05-18T19:25:00.003+08:00

Err let's see my last post was in June 2010!? I've cheated on blogging with facebook, fb games and TWITTER! But we'll see how long I could blog from now on.

A lot had happened between June 2011 and May 2011 (bejesus, its been almost one full year). I got a new job, held it for only 4 months, and I went back to my old job. It's really insane. But I came back with a new perspective and a new goal. Feeling more content than ever. I've also turned 28 in January, it's probably one of the best things in life. Love bein 28, I am more focused, happier, working hard on self. And surrounding myself with positive people and positive thoughts. I can't explain how great this all feels.

An amazin event took place just two days ago, I wrote an email to Rina to apologize, she wrote back!!! And we've exchanged about 3 4 mails since. :D I am practicing the whole forgiveness thing, I am so on it!! I gotta forgive those who has hurt me in the past, I have to ask for forgiveness from people whom I might hurt before, lastly, I have to forgive myself. I'm on it, I'm on it, I'm on it!

Btw, Randy Gage freakin' ROCKS! Check out his blog and also check out his prosperity videos on YouTube peeps.

Dream sequel

2010-06-01T23:16:00.002+08:00

Last night, I had another dream about me in Bangkok -_- Could it be over, soon?
I don't know, I truly believe that my brainwave is still channeling that buddha temple that I don't get to visit. Pffff. It was a bright and shiny day in Bangkok, the sky was so blue. I passed by the temple, I saw a gold plated, huge buddha statue. Instantaneously, calm and peace took over my feelings, it felt good, and in reality, my day went by calmly as well. What are the odds?

I *heart* buddha

------------------------

I am still in the process of learning to let go of certain things. I believe this will be my life long lesson.
I love the smell of peppermint, rosemary and cypress...
Son by Four is on repeat on my playlist all day. Speaking of playlist, before iPod existed, 'playlist' doesn't exist, at least not in my dictionary. There are only about 4 songs. But I didn't get tired listening to them. They put me in this very nice state of mind.
Few nights ago, when I was half asleep, all these thoughts came into my mind, something I wanna blog about. As you can see, I couldn't remember any of it! lol That's why I am doing the rambling thing.

Dark, damp and disturbed

2010-05-29T20:54:00.002+08:00

That's where I'm at. Again. It'll usually take a couple of days for me to come out of it.
It doesn't help that I saw Public Enemies a few days ago and I'm watching The Lake House now. They both have one thing in common, they were both set in Illinois, mainly Chicago too.
Man I miss it so much, the brutal winter, but I still love it. Chicago is a city full of magic, landscape, buildings, the city grids, really really white thick fluffy snow (before they plow it into a pile of ice), Union Station, Fitness Center that faces the river. and so much more.
Sometimes, I couldn't answer myself why I left Chicago. Sorry lemme rephrase it, Why the hell did I left Chicago.
Will it help if I stop watching The Lake House now? no.
I just wish I explored more when I was there. Going picture crazy like I did now. There isn't any turn back time right?
Oh and also, my favorite grocery store. Shopping at 1 in the morning :)
And Panera bread.
And the fake chinese take out.

Yea, I want to remember my favorite city that way.

JKT-KL-BKK-KL-JKT-KL all in 10 days.

2010-05-29T14:05:00.003+08:00

It's been more than a week since I came home from traveling. This time around my traveling didn't involved packing up bikinis and sun screen, which I'd miss so much of it.

I started my journey May 11th to Jakarta, May 13th to KL, May 14th to Bangkok, May 16th to KL, May 17th back to Jakarta and finally home bound on May 20th. The hours that I had in KL was only to repack, two hours of sleep, and boom I'm on my way to the airport.

I had nightmares on several occasions since I came home. Once was about, I came back from traveling, went to the office, and my boss asked me, why are you here? Weren't you suppose to be 'somewhere'. I was thinking to myself, WHAT? I JUST came back and I hadn't have time to unpack and repack. This shit is crazy. In another dream, I arrived somewhere, took a cab and got to the hotel, only to realized, I DID NOT pick up my luggage from the airport!!!! Now just freakin great. Work is about to start and I have no change of clothes. Geeez.

Yes, I love traveling, lots and lots of traveling. But never once, did I not have enough resting time in between destinations.
................................................

Jakarta is... insane, esp the traffic. There are like 20 over million population in just on city! It took me on average 1.5hr to get from one point to another. I kept thinking, why on earth are there so so so many cars in this city? But then I realized, DUH, try to jam ALL the cars in Malaysia in ONE city, that's what you get. INSANE TRAFFIC. Because if I'm not mistaken, Malaysia's population is 28 over million and in metro Jakarta alone is about 24 over million ppl. So yea. The rush hour in Jakarta lasts til about 9pm. lol. On my last night of my second trip in Jakarta, some coworkers took me out for dinner, the traffic was so bad, they suggested that we take 'ojek', I was like HELL NO, I ain't taking that, I'll like fall off and die. And they said, if we took 'ojek' it'll take like 3 mins for us to get to the mall, if we take a cab, it could take up to an hour. I said, I'd rather walk there! So sure enough, we started walking and it only take about 30mins to get to the dinner place. =) Yea, I was quite stubborn. lol I enjoyed it so much, I wouldn't have been able to walk the streets of Jakarta if there weren't any locals to do it with me. =) Very very stoked!

So like another thing about Jakarta that is truly interesting. In the city there is a highway, only cars with 3 passengers and above could take the route during certain hours. So during that certain hours, you will see people lining up alongside of the road, these ppl will actually get into your car IF you needed enough head count to use the highway. LOL. Like you have to PAY them to sit in your car through the highway. I couldn't believe my eyes and my ears when I learn that. I'd be damn happy if cab drivers would pay me to take me into KL.

Oh oh one more thing, so you probably already know Jakarta's traffic is insane (coz I kept talking about it). So like I rarely see traffic police directing traffic ya, what I saw was bunch of ppl "dedicated" themselves into doing just that. For example, in a T-junction, normally we would wait for our turn to cross the road or whatever right? In Jakarta, these ppl will help you to "stop" the coming traffic, and let you pass or go across or whatever. You're like ok, that's cool. BUT, the truth is, you have to pay these dedicated ppl some coins. LOL. That also happens, when you wanna use a short cut in the 'back alley'. It is totally mind blowing to me, how these guys are making a living. Well, you can choose not to pay them but really? Your car might get damaged or something. Nobody wants to take that chance.

Manila's traffic is crazy too, but I ain't see nothing yet until I saw Jakarta's traffic.
...............................................

Bangkok is cool. I been there once (for work), but I don't think I'll go back again. They like put fish sauce in all the dishes!!!!! Everywhere I go that all I could smell. One thing though, I didn't get to check out some temples. Bummer. Coz Temple makes me feel how insignificant I am, also, makes me feel content and calm. I *heart* temples, esp Buddhist temples =)
..............................................

All and all, it was a great experience, visiting my neighboring countries. I was fascinated by the vast differences we have in our culture and language even though, our countries are so close by on the map. ;)

p.s. If you ever have to go to Jakarta, the cab company that is trust worthy would be BlueBird Taxi. Please beware that not all BlueBirds are made the same.

Lines from The Angel's Game

2010-05-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

So far these are my favorite lines from my currently favorite read.

- "I was beginning to consume more coffee and cigarettes than oxygen".
- "'Do you know the best thing about broken hearts?' the librarian asked.
I shook my head.
'They can only be broken once. The rest is just scratches'"
- ".... I took one of them (cigars) and lit it. It had an intense flavor that seemed to hold all the aromas and poisons a man could wish for in order to die in peace."

Esp the second one, almost brought me into tears. Because I couldn't agree more. I mean think about it...

Today's Earth Friendly Tips (4/21/10)

2010-04-21T10:32:00.001+08:00

Today’s Earth Friendly Tips (added)

Buy your fruits and vegetables from a local farmers market.
If you change your font to Century Gothic you save up to 30% of your ink.
Use reusable bags when shopping.
Build up green awareness at your school or company.
Use reusable glasses/mugs at school or work.
Plant a tree(s) and alleviate the “Greenhouse Effect”
Use eco-friendly cleaning supplies.
Go paperless! If every U.S. household switched to viewing bills online 16.5 million trees would be saved.
Use fluorescent light bulbs instead of incandescent.
Remove your name from catalog and junk mail lists.

Yin Yang, & Balance

2010-04-20T16:16:00.004+08:00

People said it is better to have just enough- not too much, not too little.
I wonder, does this apply to my feelings towards my job? I have been having a love/hate relationship with it.
I could hate it so much because it made me do things I normally wouldn't.
I could love it so much because it made me push myself beyond the limit, it made me read what I love again, picking up my nutrition text books.
I could love & hate it because it made me deal so much with human beings.
Will this unique relationship get me through another 2 years here?

Will yin yang creates balance in my situation?

Today's Earth Friendly Tips

2010-04-19T18:06:00.002+08:00

Today’s Earth Friendly Tips

Find and purchase products that use less packaging.
Carpool, use public transportation, walk or bike to work or school.
Use less water – take a shower instead of a bath, turn off water while brushing your teeth.
Unplug appliances such as toasters, microwaves, even your phone charger when not in use to save energy.
Re-program your thermostat a few degrees in the summer and winter (up for air conditioning, down for heating)

Logged into Myspace today and saw this. =)
Pretty cool eh? I will follow at least 4 of the above.

Crazy alert

2010-04-19T11:03:00.002+08:00

Thoughts in my head that I didn't have time to link em together yet.
- I don't wanna put my "life" on hold because of someone or something.
- I want to take risks and have fun while at it.
- I want to stay true to the other person.
- If I take the risks and have the fun, I'll feel like I'm cheating on the other person.
- I don't like being cheated on, let alone BE the one who's cheating.
- This is a real challenge for me.
- My head screams, good thing/person will come for those who wait.
- So like should I wait some more?
- Or do I revert to when I was young and do stupid things again?
- I don't know.

Agenda

2010-04-17T16:26:00.003+08:00

I believe that everyone, whatever they say or do, they have an agenda.
I believe that only young children do not have agenda, guess because they have the purest of souls.
As those young children grow older, they know that to get something they want (for us adults too), there must be some kind of plan.
I am not here to judge if having an agenda is good or bad.

Let's see if I can make this example make sense. A lonely person, appears to be very helpful and a very good listener. This lonely person is always available when friends needed them. So, does this person really wants to lend an ear and a helping hand? OR just because they are lonely, they needed to be with any human beings therefore appeared to be a helpful person? So the person's hidden agenda would be, they don't wanna be lonely? Does that make sense to you? I thought about this all the time. Why do I spend time to listen or to talk to ppl? Why would ppl spend they time to listen to me? Is it because we are all lonely ppl? Frankly, I do not believe one does not have a hidden agenda at any given day, hour, or minute. Of course unless you are a two year old child. And I also believe that all human beings are selfish beings. Sometimes, I wonder those ppl who got famous by doing their charitable work. Are they really that selfless? OR because they are hunger for fame?

Do you believe this helping hand is utterly selfless and without any hidden agenda?

To-do list

2010-03-29T22:08:00.004+08:00

1. Buy a pair of new sneakers. DONE.
2. Brow wax.
3. Send out Erin's gifts.
4. Sort out yes & no clothes, and donate the nos. Doing the de-clustering.
5. Get REALLY organized at work.
6. Get new action book for work. DONE.
7. Save up for an island trip. (I owe it to me)
8. Save up for an Aussie trip. (I just found free lodging, HA!)
9. Save up for a Japan trip. (Hmmm....)
10. Apply the 90-days rule in everything I do. (Totally crossing fingers)

7, 8, & 9 -- that means NO MORE starbucks for me? Oh no~ well, guess I could cheat a little. Doing very poorly with no Starbucks, in fact, Starbucks every freakin day!

Learn something about 'the power of public declaration'. Somethings that you've been wanting/trying to do (great example would be losing weight or quit smoking), once you've put it out there, you are obligated to stick to your goals. Coz you got everyone's eyes on ya, kinda hard to back out anymore right?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Was saying this to my baby sister the other night: I don't cheat, but I lie. I am not lying, I just don't tell the truth. LMAO. I know I cracked myself up. It almost doesn't make sense.

Something to do with bikini

2010-03-19T16:00:00.001+08:00

http://www.merriam-webster.com/top-ten-lists/bikinis-and-bourbon/bikini.html

Today only!

Let's make it to Pulau Redang

2010-02-01T21:02:00.003+08:00

Let's make that my next destination. Rare moments of me being proud to be Malaysian... is when I think about P. Redang (also when I lay my eyes on Petronas Twin Towers, e-ve-ry-day, and when I'm sippin on Teh Tarik). Heard so much about it, yet haven't step foot on it. Last year, I made it to Lang Tengah, life undersea is amazing there. P. Redang isn't as good, so I've heard. But how can I not fall in love with it when the stretches of beach there is beautiful. So is the ocean. Dude, I'm so set on going there this year, sometime in May maybe =)

Got distracted by fb. Dude...

I shall leave you with this photo to ponder upon...

People do change

2010-01-31T21:41:00.006+08:00

for better or for worse? I am not here to judge.

I am changing...

Like I used to not like having make-up on. I remember back when my friends would get all dolled up in sexy outfits and make-up before we hit the clubs. They tried many many times to convince me to put on gook and gunk on my face. I wasn't able to accept the made up look. I was complaining about the eye shadow being too outrageous, I would also complain about how bad make-up is for my skin, blah blah blah. I was adamant about the au naturel look. I didn't get into make-up til two years ago. and NOW I'm addicted! It is amazing what it can do. Let's not start with the freckles on my cheeks due to sun damaged, something I did when I was young and stoopid. lol. I still love tanning but I'll do it with loads of sunblock, I even started using sunscreen on my face daily. ;) Yea, make-up evens your skin complexion and hide things you don't want ppl to see. Heheheh. It can also make your eyes looks bigger with tricks (my chinese eyes need help). Tons you could do on your face and neck too, for some. I love it!!!!! Shout out to Benefit (girly fun), MAC (like Coach for bags) and Stage (new found love).

The thought of changing... came to me when I heard this lovely song 'Need You Now' on the radio couple of nights ago. It is freakin country. I hope my taste bud isn't slowly changing, it's that scary. Coz I don't like country songs, though I have a song or two that I've collected years ago on my playlist. A good friend of mine introduced me to country songs, even dragged me to country club. Good ol' days. =) My point is, I can't believe I'm finding myself adapting to country songs. If you are not a fan of country music, try listening to the video. Song is pretty good, the video... only so so.

This photo signifies the energy and the spirit of (me) patiently waiting for the arrival of Chinese New Year. Again, I was not a big fan of Chinese New Year. Somehow this year is very special, I actually can't wait for it to be here! I took the initiative to decorate the facade of our house for CNY with the help from Heay, mei & di. One of the reasons for my excitement could came from the fact that I can take long vacation without feeling an ounce of guilty-ness. How neat is that. We shall see how interesting this coming CNY would be. And don't forget about me attending a reunion... This is me doing new/strange/different-things galore.

And here is Need You Now.

Inspired by a New Year letter

2010-01-27T20:25:00.012+08:00

I keep in touch with my Nutrition Education prof. In the long letter that she wrote for New Year (updating ppl who knows her), there was one line, and I quote "I’m still trying to figure what I want to be when I ‘grow up.’" Guess how old she is now? Guess Guess Guess... =) She's 67! Yea 67 saying she's still trying to figure what she wants to be when she "grows up". Her passion towards life and what she does is Amazing. Why and who are we to sit here and complain about life and work? We should live our lives like her!

Ah I wish you guys could be reading her letter, each and every words of hers is an inspiration. She's the professor who allows us to correct our work and resubmit numerous times, because she wants to see improvement in us. Who else would take such trouble to read our work over and over and over and over again??? She's the teacher who truly cares. She's the teacher who teaches, leads, guides and inspires...

I've spoken before about we only have a hand full of ten years to live. I am passionate about living life, but through her, I know I can dream more and do more because at 67 she still dreams. At 17, 27, 37, 47, 57, just imagine the potentials that we ALL have!

French Onion Soup from TGI. ok ok lah. The one from Applebees is WAY better.

My favorite Tau Fu Fa in town, can be found at Food Republic @ Pavilion.

What they call Nasi Paprik. Looks yummy doen it?

I have a goal

2010-01-25T22:45:00.003+08:00

for the new year.

That is to make new friends. I think my life will appreciate that, I might not know it yet, but my life does. ;) I've took one of the many first steps, I have RSVPed to a primary school Chinese New Year reunion. Oh how's that making new friends? One way to look at it, I was never close to them, I wasn't able to connect with them. I think they totally qualify as strangers. Hence, by meeting up with them in february, that counts as making new friends! =D Brilliant right?

Goal's goal. There bound to be obstacles. Mine is pretty interesting. When I first met someone, I am friendly, kind and helpful as hell. and so they got close to me and like being my friend. But, the closer they are to me, I feel the need to put on some friends repellent. I feel annoyed (by the "stickiness"). I feel drowned in all the need of attention (yuck). I had enough of people needing my attention at work, I don't I don't know why but it is just it. hmmm.... maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends. and it could very well be one of the reasons why I'm not in a relationship. I am trying to change that to accommodate my goal. I want to see some changes in me, the good kine of course.

If you are one of the few ones who wonders what's up with my picture? The construction in progress is the Hyatt Hotel. In the near future there will be a grand looking tall building in sight, and there will be one less spot in KL skyline...

You bet Imma blog about it

2010-01-14T22:08:00.002+08:00

I stupidly left my phone at an atm and lost it.

Yeap. I left my brain at home... I have never lost a phone or anything physical in my life!

Really really sad right now. Can I afford a brand new phone right now? :(

*sob sob* Im so so so so sad. Like no tears kind of sadness yo.

R.I.P. meeiphone.

Only 355 days left in 2010

2010-01-10T22:50:00.004+08:00

Thank you so much for today! You guys made today be the best day of my week =) I will always be grateful for having you you you in my life...

I had a great today, in comparison to what I had gone through all this week (which I will spare you the details here). Today was also a treat for me, celebrating my birthday (belated kine). But before I get to claim my treat, I had to haul my ass back down to office for a couple of hours. Hahaha. After that, I head straight home, showered, put on some fresh clothes and makeup and I was out the door, listening to all the latest hits on our local radio station. Oh yea. Suddenly, this very soul-full voice came on. For the life of me, I can't remember where and when I heard that voice before. (To find out the voice belongs to Diane Birch)

Basically I spent my sunday in SS15, good times with the girls. Talkin bout how huge changes are gon happen in the next ten years of our lives. Which is true, the place we were sippin on coffee and tea was a "restaurant" with food stalls ten years ago, talk about change! The dude I went for my hair cut ten years ago now owns his shop with 4 helpers when he only had 1 then, talk about advancement! In this next ten years, we're gon be married, have children, we joke about recycling baby clothes (since it is cheaper and healthier), talk about insane-ness of all those thoughts.

Some ppl have experienced wifehood and motherhood in their 20's, more power to you! But I'm glad I didn't. Sorta like I don't wanna rush into the ending of this chapter of being in my 20's. I like flipping and reading through every single page before I get to THE END. :) All that being said, I still got 3 years left til I hit 30... Hahaha.

When you put your life into chunks of tens, we don't actually have a whole lot of ten years!!! Yea? My 30's is hearing my foot steps. ;) I gotta plan the however many tens I have left best I could. Hmmm....

p.s. I stop doing new year's resolution. But there is one thing I really wanna do this year is to make new friends.

Something to look at

2009-09-22T20:49:00.005+08:00

Lotus Seed Paste Mooncake

2009-09-18T21:32:00.004+08:00

Since Mooncake (Mid Autumn) Festival is just around the corner and my mother and I have made some few days ago. I thought why don't I go online to search for mooncake recipes to see what is out there. My first stop is, of course, www.foodnetwork.com, I found nothing and they even asked me was I looking for corncake recipe. LOL. So then I googled mooncake recipes, honestly not many good results out there. The closest match was probably the recipe from Star Online, a Malaysian newspaper. Besides that, a lot of the search results were "where do I find mooncake recipes?" sorta things. And one crazy ones that says 'easy chinese moon cake', for ppl like me who just made some KNOW for sure there is nothing easy about making it! In that recipe, it even called for strawberry jam??!! I was like WTF?

Anywho, I am pretty damn proud that I have participated in the making of mooncakes! The preparation is tedious and you gotta start preparing at least one month before you get to make anything outta lotus seeds, flour, oil, sugar and etc! I can't disclose too much about it here though ;) Just in case you're curious, the recipe is from my maternal grandmother. My mother is the main person making mooncakes and me the sous chef. Hehehe.

I just wanna say, the mooncakes we make taste nothing like what you are getting where you shopped for grocery not even high end restaurants or classy five star hotels can beat us! Well unless you got homemade mooncakes that uses ONLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT lotus seed paste, strictly NO FILLERS!!!! I will have some pictures posted up here soon. So stay tuned ;)

I love Kimora Lee

2009-09-17T21:43:00.003+08:00

I love Kimora Lee Simmons, I'm not too sure when she's gonna change her last name. Hehehe. Yea, she just had a new baby with her boyfriend Djimon Hounsou.

I love her because she's crazy and loud and of course, she's freakin fabulous. She embraces for who she is, she definitely ain't shy bout being loaded!

I love that she's a mother, I love that she loves dark chocolate, just like I do. ;)

I love that she's half black half asian, I love that she has a damn cool mother allowing her to be with some much older men. LOL.

Not that I've met her in person or anything. Not that I wore a Baby Phat labeled clothing ever. Kimora simply rocks! She's as real as you can get.

Enough with the I love Kimora talk.

Uh huh, I know I haven't been updating my blog as often as I should. Just coz I ain't got nothing new to talk about. Like right now, even if I have some ideas I can't bring myself to sit down long enough to actually write. =)

If you're one of the few ppl who is still reading my blog once in a while. I thank you =D Maybe you could give me some ideas as to what you wanna know?

PEACE.

p.s. I am still dutifully drinking my coffee everyday. Once a day, or twice if I'm being really horrible with self control.

Amazing

2009-08-03T21:41:00.002+08:00

The thought "amazing" came to me when I saw a friend of mine commented on my status on FB. I was sayin I just realized tomorrow (8/4) will make two good years since I moved back to Malaysia and he said "two years back I am looking for being here for 20..." You're thinking no biggy right? Yes, no biggy if you're a Malaysian who has live here all your life. But biggy if you are from Austria. ;) So yea, that's why I thought Amazing!

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? Have you seen season 3? Sometime around season 3 when Meredith "drown" and almost didn't make it? When she came through it and Christina was holding Mer's feet and couldn't utter a word?

I cried. Because I thought if I were Meredith, who would be the Christina holding me feet when I almost died?

I cried. Because I am afraid. Maybe I didn't have such bond with anyone I know. *in this case, family doesn't count*

I cried. Because I know deep down maybe I don't have anyone like Christina in my life, well not anymore.

I cried...

Just realized something else. I like to write on this blog at the same time I would reply emails and messages. In case you're curious, right now I'm replying a message on FB from my professor. I guess it'd be the only time my mind is set into writing, may it be any form of writing...

Today I did one thing that make myself proud. I was being really really polite and patient with a client and everybody knows how nasty she could be. ^^ I am so proud. lol. I sat with her for 3 hours... THREE HOURS. I sat with a nasty lady for 3 hours of my life. I almost couldn't believe it. LOL.

In case you've forgotten, tomorrow will make two good years since I moved home. A baby born two years ago would've become a toddler tomorrow. I do miss the other me, I do miss the other world I lived in.

All and all, it is pretty amazing.

Just wateva

2009-07-17T21:25:00.002+08:00

How many times do you have to reach a breaking point to actually break? And if you didn't break after that point it wouldn't be considered as breaking point would it?

I just realized sometimes we cannot fit someone or somethings in our fantasy into our real world. Sometimes, what we found in our fantasies is better off remain in our fantasies. After having to realize that, I am more at ease with myself and everything else.

If you just assume everyone is horrible from get go then you wouldn't be disappointed further. Seriously, no one is an angel in this world. Someone is always doing something (good or bad) to benefit themselves, nothin wrong with that coz we're oh-so human beings.

Well if you are too nice to assume everyone is horrible, there is another way you could do. Set your expectations REAL LOW. Ha.

I have a good 5 days off and I don't know what to do with it, yet. I'm thinking somewhere with blue ocean and white sand. Who wants to go chill with me??? August 12th-16th.

My hair is real frizzy and wavy. Should I do something about it? OR let it be and have every other person who sees me tells me I like a lion? Hmmm

I am more of a patience person now.

While I am helping everyone else's dream come true, am I also making mine come true? A blue bird outside of my window tells me he heard not.

Currently reading The Secret Life of Bees. uggh... I'm looking at my hair again.

Where is my passion?

Been thinking about this since forever... Gotta sit down and plan. NOT wedding.

I got stories to tell but ain't in any kind of mood to tell them.

Cycles

2009-06-18T00:24:00.003+08:00

I go through em like a dutifully hamster. Never asking why. Can't remember if I've told about me quitting caffeine. It worked before when I was living a less stressful life. It is not quite working now coz I need caffeine to get me through the day, my day. Ermm... my cycles go like this:

1. Waking up late in the ams, mentally preparing myself for a caffeine-less day.

2. Doing rather well up until around 1 in the pms. Sometimes I can't even get pass 12noon.

3. Feeling like a walking zombie.

4. Struggling like a mad woman inside of my brain debating if I should have that cuppa damn coffee.

5. Giving up.

6. Feeling wired up after the feeding of my addiction.

7. Crashing down around 7-8pm.

8. Swearing to myself that I wouldn't have coffee again because I'd toss and turn at night OR still up blogging at 1234am. Also, going to bed late means getting up late. MEANS, I'll miss my exercising session.

9. Repeat from 1-8.

I know I know it is all in the head. Sigh.

p.s. Was totally distracted for about 30mins talking on the phone with effa. It is her burfday today so a shout out goes to you my love!

Milo and MSN

2009-06-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

People drink coffee and tea amongst some other drinkable drinks. But us Malaysians love Milo. When I saw that 1.5kg bag of Milo sitting in our pantry at the office... I realized we love Milo, coz it's comforting. We had it when we were little kids. A scoop of powdered milk, two scoops of Milo, add hot water and it was heavenly. Then we get older, we'll go out to mamak and we order Milo-ice (powdered milk has been replaced by sweetened condensed milk). Until now, I still love having Milo anytime of the day... But I no longer add in sweetened condensed milk nor powdered milk. Well, occasionally we add Nescafe to our Milo to create what ppl call Nes-lo... Cool eh?

Realized one thing that hasn't changed throughout our years?

Eli (my Mexican friend) could not stand the fact that I could drink Milo day and night, rain or shine. Coz to her chocolate-y drinks are only for kids and special occasions and beer is definitely a better beverage! LOL.

Changes changes, we love it we're also afraid of it.

About 6 or 7 years ago, I'd stay in touch with friends using MSN. Soon as I log onto MSN after getting back from classes, I'll see many many little green/blue man on my contact list. And usually I will chat with most of them, if not all, some even live just down the hall. These past three years I haven't log onto MSN as often as I used to. I guess my mode of communication has altered, so is others. Or as we grew older, we learned that a lot of ppl whom we called friends are no longer our friends. Or as adults, we are more selective as to who we called friends. =) Whatever reasons we believe in, the truth is, there are just not many green/blue little man showin up on our contact list anymore... Seriously, it is kinda depressing coz it is getting to a point where I am okay with not having a lot of friends. I will always be grateful for the friends who have walked with me through certain paths of my life. The friends who chose to walk a different path, I'm fine with it too. No longer feeling that sense of lost that I speak of often, in my previous blog entries.

Cheers to Milo, a good farewell to MSN!

p.s. Milo is like hot cocoa and then some. ;)

Too lazy to string em together

2009-05-31T21:23:00.005+08:00

-- Peeps! I'm ready! I wanna be back into the game... of working out. =D My workout regime has been put on hold since I went on my vacation and sickness/weakness whole of last week. Bleh. Such a weak ass I tell ya. SO, tomorrow will be a big day for me, I told ma, I gotta start from zero again... Stamina, determination and such =(

-- If I haven't already done so, would like to give a big hand to Facebook. Because of it, I get to "see" the world through my friends' eyes. Those who were fortunate to travel to different parts of the world or even just different parts of my country =D I thank you Facebook!

-- How close do you have to be to someone? To be able to feel someone's sorrow and restlessness. For some reason, I feel (already) connected to someone whom I just met. He did too. Just like a few days ago, I was having a bad day, when I spoke to him on the phone he told me he was uneasy whole of that day too. And today, he was having a bad day (but feel MUCH better after hearing my voice), it was my turn to feel restless. Hmm...

-- My back is starting to peel. Will start wearing makeup again coz I'm not sick anymore! I feel gorgeous! Hardly need alcohol to feel happy this past two years. Muahahaha!

-- Oh yea, I am thankful for health screening tests. I now know for sure my cholesterol and LDL is on the high end. Will do my best to bring em down like my dad did! Go DAD! Watch out for eggy, buttery, oily and tasty foods. LOL

-- Enjoying the new love/lust package. Feel like a million bucks all the time coz someone always tell me how much he misses me. =p I don't care if me and him is/isn't gonna turn into anything, just wanna enjoy it as much as I can now.

-- I had an image flashed through my mind yesterday. The image of me being at my mother's age... 50-ish. I was like damn. Time is flying by at the speed of light, we better be present now, be aware before we look back at our lives and say shit I shoulda done this this and that! My ma told me this the other day, she said: We have plenty of time to sleep/rest when we're really really old, so before it's too late we gotta move more (be active) now! Smart mother.

-- Seriously, I can't stop thinking about him. I can't wipe the stupid grin off my face.

-- I have not read a good book in a long time. Got so much to do Monday through Friday, sometimes Saturday. Can't choose between hanging out with fam and friends or hide out to read a book. Susah lah. Or sometimes I will forgo the idea of catching a movie, afraid to lose my day off spending two hours in the movies instead of two hours with human beings who loves me.

-- Stomach is growling. j.o.e. is on my current playlist, love him! Knowing I have to be in bed by now. Yet still up chatting with Heay. Hmm...

-- I love being older, we gain confidence as we age. At least for me. It is also best to surround yourself with positive ppl, with ppl who is full of energy! ^^

-- okay okay closing up now. Today is one of the few days that I didn't have the urge of turning on my laptop to see, tried to be IT-free best that I could. Now now, blogging is an entire different reason to be here. =p

Lang Tengah/ Nemo

2009-05-28T21:34:00.003+08:00

If Hanging Bikini Tops was a shop, it woulda been shut down a looooong time ago! ;) What shop would only open once a month right? LOL Well thank god it isn't, a shop.

Exactly one week ago, Jinn Lin, her sis, her sis bf and I went to Lang Tengah. It was probably one of the best vacation I had so far. I went into the jungle, "into" the ocean, waited for sea turtles to lay eggs on shore, and I even saw "blue sand". =) I had so much fun! I did kayak and snorkeling for the very first time. Never in my dreams thought I would kayak nor snorkel! So yea, I'm pretty proud of me. If y'all know me, I love the beach stuff but not so much water activities. But this trip opened my eyes and my mind. It also helps a lot that we had really awesome snorkeling guides, boatmen, whom also brought us for night jungle walk. I almost saw sunrise too, but it requires a lil rock climbing so I said Nah forget bout it. Hehehe.

The snorkeling part is the most fascinating. When I was submerged in the ocean, I was all alone with the nature, the under sea kingdom. The ocean lives are vastly different from what we see on dry land. The corals, the color of the fishes, shapes of lives underneath is breathtaking. When the light rays shines through the sea, lighting up our lives. We learned how to breathe in the water with proper equipment, how amazing! When I was in the water, the whole world slows down. As if only those creatures and god are watching me. Scary at times but it is nonetheless good for my soul. Being with the ocean livings, the impact of how we should love our one and only earth is much deeper. You do not need a thousand books and commercials telling how to love our mother earth. Go snorkeling once, and you'll know. If the ocean is not within your arms reach, go see "Nemo" it is as close and as real as you can get. Seriously. The maker of "Nemo" has done an excellent job.

We saw baby sharks and sea turtles, thanks to our snorkeling guide, Ad. Yes his name is, just, AD.

When I wasn't being bombarded by the awesomeness of mother nature. I was surrounded with love, wholesome love. Holding hands in the water, swimming away together. Cradled by the hammock by the sea with him next to me. Sharing/sitting on a rock by the beach watching the night glows. Occasionally (twice for me) seeing shooting stars pass us by. =) How freakin romantic right! Yea, I did all that. What a trip! Totally wasn't expecting it. I should be going back very soon to see him again. ^^ Just could not believe the magical things that happened on that island.

Oh boy, I have so so many stories to tell. Just wanna say, go experience it yourself, at least once. Do not be afraid. I went into the sea without a life vest on the second time around. Might seem stupid to some of you, but the freedom you get without the restriction of a life vest is priceless. I was paddling around in my bikini, flippers and mask. If I could fly, I think that's what it would feel like. Free and blissful.

One month since the last time I wrote anything on here. One month worth of stress and stress and stress. It all went away the moment I jumped into the water. This trip worth every single penny I paid for and I didn't even spend that much for it. 498MYR for E-very-thing!!! Wanna know how much that is in USD? Divide that with 3.5 (roughly) ;)

p.s. I will think twice/thrice before I use another Ziplock Bag.

Happiness

2009-04-26T22:48:00.003+08:00

Is there such thing as "finishable" happiness? I say/think YES.

I was so happy and on cloud nine earlier today. I was spending time with my family at starbucks, sippin on caffeine. I didn't have to rush to go somewhere, to do something, I had all the time in a day. I was so happy so close to being crazily happy. Hehehe.

But it was a short lived happiness, or may I say, my happiness is finished. I mean there are only so many times you could listen to your favorite song to boost your morale! There are only that much satisfaction you get from playing Restaurant City on fb. SO, where do I find happiness? You may say, look from within. Well, what if happiness doesn't exist within ME?

I am so tired of looking and looking for somethings, someone (including myself) to make me happy. Will it be okay to be not okay?

Sometimes I feel like, (the one sitting high up in the sky/heaven) is pushing me to my limits. He/she keeps pilling on s*** onto my already full plate! * I remember reading the new earth, in the book it says that if you could just acknowledge the unhappiness and do not try so hard to cover it or make it (unhappiness) go away, you will eventually be okay.* I don't know how not to focus so much on being unhappy at times.

Gosh, I am ranting, aren't I? Without realizing it too. Just thought I would talk about happiness. And til this now, I don't have a point. Is there any rules for say we have to be happy? Of course, one won't be a pleasant company if he/she is sulking (or lashing out) ALL THE TIME. But is it okay to be not okay?

Sigh, guess one of the other reason for me to work out is I want to obtain happiness. Physically yes I am going through restrictions and challenges every day. Emotionally, the feeling is accomplishment is rewarding.

Like seriously, what the hell am I rambling about?

My crush still remains as my crush.

I am also impatiently waiting for the return of Paul from NY to Oki!

Nope, Paul is not my crush. If you've read my previous entries. Paul is my long time friend.

Unusual weather and all

2009-04-23T00:01:00.002+08:00

The breeze outside my window is heavenly. Soft and warm. But is this a sign of rain? Rain or (moon) shine, I wanna move my lounge chair out to the middle of my mom's garden and soak up all the goodness god gives. =)

Today was a busy day as usual. I gave my all so that made me feel good.

I have a crush on someone. :p Never felt this way for someone. NEVER.

Errmm, he doesn't know about it. =) And I'd like to keep it that way for now. Let me enjoy the feeling of "crushing" on someone. Oh, that someone, put a smile on my face every single time I see him. I like ;)

I was insulted, tonight, through a phone, by a son of a bitch. His name is N.V. A. P** H***. Allow me to say this, he is a fucking ass-wipe piece of shitty-shit son of a fuckin biatch! There I said it! I was so angry, my face was burning red (told by my coworker) and I cried. Because of that ass wipe! I felt threatened then, as if I was talking to a drunk mob. Awful experience.

Fell in love with another Rihanna's song ~Hatin on the club~ =D

Finally, I kept up with working out. I could run two small rounds without stopping, some kind achievement for me, considering I never include running as my exercise routine. Something to be proud of ;) hahahaha Pray for me for additional strength and determination.

It is 1225am I should clock out now.

Dreams I had

2009-04-04T13:32:00.002+08:00

Numerous occasions I dreamt of the blue ocean. How the ocean smells like in memory and in my dreams....

I wanna work towards making one of my dreams come true. Which to live in a city next to the sea. Now, I don't know where this place is. I'm sure I'll find it one day. I don't think it'll be Hawaii. Coz hawaii is not big enough of a city for me. ;)

Boy, I wanna just go back to bed, back to my sweet dream of the sea and the sand.... Ocean mist, ocean's blue and green makes me feel alive.

Another...

2009-04-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

Another pothole that hurts me like a mo-fo.

When I thought I could stand up and keep walking forward... well I thought wrong.

One's happiness could turn into my sore sore sore...

Since when that was ok? Disgusted.

Plans have been made, lives that have been brought into this world...

I, feel, inadequate for any of it.

Something needs to be done. But could it?

Wee hours, pages and pages of pages were browsed through...

Searching, longing for a sense of, a sense of...

Wee hours, reading a beautiful poem from an old friend...

He titled it "Questioning the Question"

Sadness slowly creeps in.

Could it be a sense of sadness I was longing for? Searching for?

Fresh tears are warm

The beating heart though, has lost its warmth a while back.

A microwave might be handy for me, if you know what I mean...

Another rainy season that dampens my mood.

Sigh.

Just wanna stop look listen

2009-03-29T21:20:00.005+08:00

to my life.

My feet has been on the run. I hadn't had time to stop and look around. and to look into what's going on in my life... Feels like always on the go. Feels like I always have to rush somewhere. Feels like time isn't enough. For someone this might sounds ok, or good even. But it is not a good thing when there isn't enough time to properly finish a meal. It is not a good thing when I have to finish my lunch in front of a computer screen. I don't know, I haven't listen to the inner me. When I could finally pause for the end of the day, it was time for bed. :)

On the side:

I have two MEs. The new me and the old me. The new me is in my body, the one would wake up early every morning for a work out. The old me, which is in my mind, asking me why on earth would you wake up so early and loses precious sleep??? Even when I'm walking and breathing in new air, the old me would still bugging me about waking up early. Guess I can say it's a constant struggle between the old and new me. Just like today, if it wasn't because of heay, the old me would totally win the battle! Sunday morning right? Normal ppl would sleep in today, but not us. We got our asses up for a work out. hehehe thanks heay!

You guys I bought something really cute at the mall this afternoon. I wanna show it here. ;) I'm totally excited over owning this thing. You might have seen this toy in the mall or in someone else's car. The purpose of me buying this is for the calming effect it has on me. I thought I'd place it in my car so I won't get pissed off so easily while driving... BUTTTTTTTT this baby doesn't work in my car!!!!!! sigh. So now it is sitting on my desk as I'm typing away on this blog. =) The two leaves will move up down up down when it is exposed to sunlight or regular lights... =D I am so happy just talking about it. hehehehe

Since I've showed you somethin cute. I want you to see something really gross. hahahahah

You see the freakin cuts on my index finger???????? I got em during the weekend in Seremban where we worked more than 14 hours a day... I got it while preparing 800 welcome packs for our participants.

Guys, I thought this was gonna be a sentimental post... But it turned out with pictures and things and NOT quite that emo~ly.

Bored

2009-03-16T23:05:00.003+08:00

Kekeke I stole this from one of those FB tag game. Just coz I'm bored that's why I wanna do this! Don't worry, I ain't gonna tag in anyway shape or form. ;)

48 things about me!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
few days ago. oh yea, last friday.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
LOL ask anyone... I hate my handwriting.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT
I'm a lacto-ovo

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
nope

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I totally would, coz I'm caring, I'm understanding, I give free hugs. Who wouldn't wanna be my friend?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
sometimes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yea

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
yes yes yes!!! bring me?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
bran & raisins. Tho I hate raisins. Ill still love you!!!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Gosh, who does that?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
chocolate, the darker, the better ;)

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
ze hands. you got a ring on?

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
white, lavender

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
stubbornness. But that's also one of the things I love about me...

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

not only one person. I got TONS whom I miss.... you know you are tho.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Nah, I just did this for fun.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
black shorts. bare feet.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Khalil Fong.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Ocean. It makes me feel alive.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Babe

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
n/a

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football NOT soccer.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Black

28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nah

30. FAVORITE FOODS?
mama made

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
both yo

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED
Pathology, a complete waste of time

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
green tank top

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer DUH! It allows me to be in two piece and hang out with my fav girl.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kiss kiss

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
n/a

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
n/a

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Clutter and Butt and Fat LOL

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
secret

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
didn't get to watch =(

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
hmmmm

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
neither either

44. Where is the farthest you have been?
errrr

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
ain't got none

46 WHERE WERE U BORN
Ee to the Poh

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
n/a

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
least expected

I had a point. I did.

2009-03-11T22:57:00.003+08:00

I had a point, last night. Thoughts flashing through my mind when I was half asleep. I knew exactly what to say in this blog.

But now, I lost it all. All I hear is the new thoughts in my head. All I hear is the new songs on my playlist. What prompted all these thoughts in my mind?

This morning I got to work, I saw this look my coworker's face. I asked, what's wrong? He said today is the worst day of my life... I asked, what happened? He told me everything. As he was telling me why... all the old creepy feelings just came back to me. It's non other than relationships challenges. It gives me goose bumps. I said to him no matter how many times we've been a relationship, no matter how many times we encounter heart breaks, the feeling will always be the same.

Your heart is at the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle, no where to be found. Your mind is occupied by so so many what ifs, what if he'd never done so, what if I'd never said that. Your can't smile even if Russell Peters was on tv, you feel as if winter is never gonna turn into spring...

Sometimes you'll ask yourself. Dude, what the hell have I done to deserve this? Yea, until this day. I don't have an answer for that.

Was talking to an old friend last night. He brought me back down memory lane. How we met was the funniest thing. We still talk about it. We still remember exactly how it happened. lol. It's a good laugh for the both of us. You probably wouldn't believe we've only met twice since 2004. No one remember how we became such close friends. Ah~ I lied. I still remember how I would call him up during the cold days in Chicago while I was waiting for my train home at Union Station. How he would holla to see how I was doing with the bf (at that time). Come to think of it. The most memorable phone conversations took place during the coldest days in Chicago... hahahha Also during my Hawaii days. Our communication was limited to only emails because he was out in the sea. Cheers to good friends ;)

Gettin late here. This evening is pretty fruitful. Get to chat with babe for ONE hour!!! He has some decision to make which I am in no condition to help nor offer any suggestions. He wants to buy a house!

Half Assed

2009-03-09T10:01:00.002+08:00

Something's over due. Like putting up a new entry here.

And also blasting my Bose to my favorite party songs.

Speaking of songs. I got myself a new playlist on mEepod. I got: cookie jar, mad, love remains the same, if i was a boy ft. R. Kelly (don't like the version without R Kels), how do you sleep, give me a try by Sizzla, where do you want me to put it, everybody knows, blame it, rockin that thang. Some of it are new songs, some are old that I dug out from my old playlists. ;) There are a few songs highly recommended! They are in red.

~~~

Goofy things aside. I have been psyching myself to get up early every morning and follow my mom to go for walks. Past few weeks I was depressed. Couldn't bring myself to get up early in the morning. The only reason that made me get up is work. Coz I HAD to. I felt like I was losing control of everything. I mean what good is your life when you have no motivation to get up in the morning, everyday??? I got to a point where I know Imma be so miserable and ppl around me is gon hate me for being so negative... So I decided to do something about it. First was to quit caffeine. And it was done. Not easy but DONE. Now, it is waking up early. I'm talking about 7am during weekdays and 630am during weekends. I feel better as the days go by... Getting up early allows me to have more time for things.

~~~

Totally distracted from finishing this entry. Coz a girlfriend of mine needed to talk. She's all the way in Vegas... So I need to give her time. Poor thing. I shall continue some other time.

Who did you hug today?

2009-02-16T23:37:00.002+08:00

I miss hugging ppl. I miss the feeling of being wrapped around by someone's arms...

The ppl who I hug these days are less than the number of fingers on my right hand.

The person I hugged most is none other than my baby sister. :)

Well you can say that hugging friends and family is not a culture in Malaysia. I was watching the last episode of The Gem of Life with my mom tonight. There were a few hugging scenes, yes it was just acting but it reminds me that eastern asians don't give real hugs or what some ppl would say "bear hug". I love hugging ppl. Just that I can't go around hugging ppl here. So who do I get to hug besides mei? They are my two beloved coworkers and Effa. Yup that is it! I get to hug Effa is coz we both understands the hugging "culture" lol.

I miss me some heart felt hugs.

I miss me some warm and fuzzy hugs.

I miss those hugs that could tell you so long as you're in my arms, you're okay...

When I was in Hawaii, not only did we get hugs, we also get a kiss on the cheek during greetings from almost everyone. Yea... even the cute guy who is NOT your man. Hehehe

You know when I say hugs, it doesn't solely meant for opposite gender. Even hugs from my good friends could mean the world to me. yup. I love hugs. =) So the next time you see me, don't be afraid to give me a hug. Well unless you're extremely allergic to human contact!

Rossa -- Aku Bukan Untukmu

2009-02-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

I saw this song's video on Heay's blog. Following is the lyrics to the song...

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun tak pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku
Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku
Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku
Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku
Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku

Such a beautiful sad song. When I have more time, I'll try to translate it. ;) Now, if you wanna check out this MV go to Heay's blog then!

Bits and pieces

2009-02-15T21:54:00.005+08:00

Today started out ok, but it ended leaving me all warm and fuzzy. I remember when my brother and I were still young, my dad would drive us into town on sunday nights (back then KL wasn't so crowded with ppl and cars and polluted air) to see tall buildings and lights... He probably had known that we didn't want our weekends to end and that we resent going to school the next day. So that was his way of taking our minds off school for a little while. My brother and I appreciated it even though we didn't know how to tell my dad so. =) Those were countless sunday nights that brother and I enjoyed, same town, same lights and the same buildings...

Just like old days, we went downtown for dinner somewhere around Jln Pudu. It was the same feeling I had on our way home, there were laughters, there were chattering in the very same city. =) On top of sunday nights, my dad would also take us out if either of us is having an exam the next day! Cool eh?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ice cream Ice cream Ice cream was totally on my mind today. Part of the reason, weather being so damn hot. When we got home from dinner, brother, mei and I went right back out, to Mid Valley to get I SCREAM. Specifically Haagen Dazs baby! It almost never happened where we would go all the way to MV just to get ice cream, it's all fun, it's all good.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Though life is definitely moving forward. But I can't stop a lot of old feelings and memories from coming back. Esp of certain ppl and certain places. Those who have loved me and those who have once dissolved me into pieces. A city that had given me so so many wonderful memories... Guys please let me say it, I MISS CHICAGO LIKE CRAZY. If Chicago was a person, I wanna say that my love for Chicago will never ever change (don't tell me never say never, I don't buy that). And Chicago would probably thinks I'm stalking her. ;) It's February, still pretty cold over there. I heard it was snowing on Valentine's Day. There are a few ppl I wanna shout out to, Nancy, Evvy, Elyna, Flor, Daisy and Alicia! I love you girls. And Erin, take good care coz the future is still awaiting. Love you very very much darlin! I could go on and on and on about Chicago, I'll spare you from all that today.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Also wanna thank Heay for coming by even though she's still not feelin very well. =) I enjoy hanging out with you cuz!

Never have I

2009-02-03T22:14:00.003+08:00

... felt so disappointed at work, from work and about work. I mean never, not even when I was in Chicago.

It is a feeling no one deserves. I'd like to think that I'm doing my best, giving my all to work. To a point where I don't think I have a life. Today, both my boys were called for a meeting and I was alone jaga-ing the counter. The meeting lasted, ohh, forever. When they were back from the meeting, they wouldn't tell me what was discussed. Until finally I forced one of them to.

Him: Your boss said starting from now, on the last saturday of the month, all three of us have to work from 1030 to 730.

Me: Fucking shit, I couldn't believe this.

Him: Yea, we'll be paid only 50 bucks for that.

Me: You gotta be kidding me!!!!!

Him: ...

Me: I can't believe this shit.

A little bit of the background. We started rotating on saturdays that at least one of us will be in the office from only 3-6. AND on every third saturday of the week, we have an all day event elsewhere. So basically, we were already working two sats of every month. NOW, they gon make us work three sats!!!! I AM EFFIN PISSED. The four words are the least to describe how I feel right now.

Neways, I can't help it but called my mother. I practically screamed into her poor ear telling her how angry I am, how disappointed I am. I know I know, I know what's behind the whole effin ordeal. The economics bad right now, so they are milking us the best they could. My mama managed to calm my hot tempered self. Don't let me get started on bonuses and increments. These two words do fucking not exist in my boss's dictionary!!!!!

I can accept if you don't wanna pay us more for whatever reasons. I do. But *boss* could at least treat us with more respect. Don't treat us like animals as if we don't have feelings, as if we don't need time for ourselves. We are totally under paid (yes I said it). And now, *boss* wants to start working us like fucking dogs. Damn, did I tell you how angry am I?

I will take on my mother's advice which is to start looking for another job! Wish me luck. I do not respect anyone who doesn't respect me and my boys. From now on, like hell I'm gonna give my 100% at work and do to this shitty ass job.

How are you?

2009-01-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

Today is the 20th day of the first month of this year. In about six days, it'll be the first day of the year in lunar calendar. Everything is happening way too fast. Like now, almost the end of Jan, almost pay day too! Then comes St. Valentine's Day. Then comes our company's March event. damn.

Ahem. I think I'm just gonna leave it like this. I thought I have tons to say, but when I re-evaluate what I was gonna say. I said nah. It will be another emotional-feelings-crap-spill. Better not do it eh? =) The only reason why I'm still up at 1230am is coz my hair is still damp. I can't go to bed with damp hair. So I shall keep going on and on about how I have nothing to blog about. LOL. I really am trying to fulfill my new years resolution, which is to keep positive energy flowing. Hence, too many complaints is no good for my energy. Ya know?

Guess what I should do is to email a couple of peeps.

Good night for now.

Playin Dirty

2009-01-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

Someone plays dirty to get what they want, to get what other ppl get by working very hard.

Someone played dirty. I couldn't get over it. Until Hanafi say "ppl would do anything to get money".

I thought but what makes these ppl that extra special to be able to play dirty? We have terms and conditions. That "someone" went above and beyond these rules to get fame, rank and money. I despise them. Yea they didn't kill. Yea they didn't harm. But is it fair for those who play by the rules??? (yea you're about to start telling me the world is unfair, bite me!)

Would love to ask this someone, how proud is he to get this big pay check this month by cheating his way up???

Would love to ask this someone, how do you tell your children not to cheat during exams and in life??? When you're another big fat liar.

Would love to ask this someone, how do you stand in front of your team telling them the "ways" to make money in this business while you're making YOUR money some other way???

Damn, talking about it makes me feel yucky. If you don't have a clue of what I'm sayin it's cool. It is always better not knowing anyways. Just wanna have a place to vent. I'm over it.

Curry Puff vs Samosa

2009-01-14T23:37:00.004+08:00

Wait wait! Before I get into that... How bout some updates?

I had a cuppa coffee this afternoon. Oops. A nice cup of Hazelnut White Coffee on ice. Mmm...

That's why I'm still don't feel sleepy. In front of me right now, there is a cup of soluble fiber, I'm waiting for it to thickens before consuming. Coz that's how I like it. =)

Work is still as crazy (nothing new here & this is NOT an update). I was stuck on a phone call with a pissed off aunty for 45 mins. Simply because the only CS who speaks mandarin is ME. She wouldn't stop complaining about how horrible and sucky my company is. Hmm... Yet, she's still willing to waste her precious time to tell me about how bad everything is, while she could have look for a new source of income. Ok.

Relationship, in general. Everything is gravy. I love how things are working out right now. Mutual understanding, and the getting-to-know-each-other is going pretty good. I saw Four Christmases with Effa this past Sunday. This movie solidifies the fact that all of us (including you who's reading) NEEDs to know and understand each other for the benefit in the long run! I've told babe to see this movie when the opportunity arises. =) Babe told me a joke this morning. I thought it was pretty funny.

Babe: As you know French love eating slugs and snails.

Me: yea... and?

Babe: What tells you about French knowing they love to eat slugs and snails?

Me: Errr they like it slow???

Babe: You're getting there... c'mon. If they like slugs angd snails, what don't they like?

Me: Errr I don't know.... The food is very slow???

Babe: Almost there

Me: OH YEA!!!! FRENCH HATE FAST FOODS!!!! *lol*

Babe: *lol* there you go!

Babe told me a second joke, but I thought it was too lame so I wouldn't shower you with lame jokes.

Woookay, I'm too far off from my Curry Puff vs *Samosa.

I had Samosa this evening as snack, I've always loved Samosa. Coz as a Malaysian, I'm used to having Curry Puffs. But when I was living in Hawaii and Chicago, there ain't no such thing as Curry Puffs unless you know how to make em yourself. Therefore, my next best option would be Samosa. HA. They tasted very much alike to me. So so, as I was eating my Samosa, a thought popped into my head, hmm.. maybe I should blog about it. The first step I did was to wiki both Samosa and Curry Puff. Following are my findings:

Samosa

~ A stuffed pastry

~ Usually stuffed with spiced potatoes, onion, peas and coriander

~ Believed it is originated from Central Asia

~ Triangular OR Tetrahedron shaped

~ I believe it's deep-fried

Curry Puff (karipap)

~ A stuffed pastry

~ Usual ingredients are curry powder, chicken and potatoes, and sometimes half boiled egg

~ Of Malay origin

~ Semicircle shaped

~ Definitely deep-fried!

As you may see why both taste very much a like! This is not a huge discovery of some common foods, just that I wonder how different are they. And I got my answers! =) I hope you did too. Of course, you may do more research on this by google-ing the authentic recipes for both Curry Puff and Samosa. I suggest www.foodnetwork.com they got tons of recipes there.

Until next time.

Good night.

* samosa always sounds like Samoa to me, for some reasons. lol

First complaint of the year!!!! Already.

2009-01-05T21:23:00.003+08:00

Yo, logging into Gmail using Maxis Broadband is pain in the ASS!!!! I don't know bout you guys, but I've been having this problem for like a week now. Sheesh kebab!

That's all I wanna complain about.

SO, how is your new year thus far? I am still feeling the spirit and energy of a new year. Watch out guys, before you know it, 2009 is gon slip through your fingers like 2008 did. =) I don't have big goals for this year (and I'm perfectly fine with it), I just wanna stay on my job for a steady period of time and give the best I can while I'm on it. Well whatever comes along this year would be a bonus... My brother is coming home next thursday, I wouldn't be able to pick him up. Sigh. I love the airport, LOVE going to the airport. It gives me hope. It reminds me of how far us human being has come to this day, flying all over places for work and play. Flying has allow us to reunite with our loved ones in a day time or two as compare to 3 months when they were traveling by boat back in the days. Babe asked me the yesterday when I'll be visiting, he'll pay for everything, I didn't have an answer. Due to, of course, my work. Huh, that's besides the point.

Anyways, I am fortunate enough to have been to several airports. Like O'hare, KLIA, Honolulu, LAX, Incheon, Narita, and etc. I would rate O'hare as the best, Incheon the second, KLIA third. (you're entitled to your own opinion) It is quite hard for me to pick between O'hare and Incheon coz they are BOTH very very good. Incheon airport is fairly new, everyone who works there are friendly, airport is well kept and CLEAN. *Narita has designated "rooms" for smokers!!* Not sure about Incheon if they have such facilities. O'hare is HUGE and the home of United Airlines ;) Though it's big, everything in there is systematic and well-organized. I'm a EXTREMELY impatient person, I can tell ya, O'hare gave me no reasons to bitch and moan. LOL.

I had my traveling fun last year to Gold Coast, hence my next trip will not be anytime soon. If you wanna hang out with me, you gotta come to Malaysia! Truly Asia.

Very like and unlike me. oh and Happy 2009!

2009-01-03T15:26:00.003+08:00

It is very unlike me to not blog about memorable events.

It is also very like me to not blog about memorable events.

May I say that 2008 ended with a bang, not literally of course.

2009 started with a bang! too, again not literally.

Let me ramble. Work is going to be very very challenging. How can you sell things when you have no things to sell? I don't wanna go too much into it (you'll never know who's reading). But That's what I meant by "started with a bang!"

Been feeling worn out lately. My head can't seem to stop spinning, with or without coffee. My body is hungry for unnecessary sleeps and rests. Is this what they call stress? haha.

There are nothing more I could ask for for the new year and my birthday. I have, enough. And enough is good enough for me, as the number of my age keeps getting bigger...

Speaking of which, I'm pretty lucky to have several celebration occassions for my birthday. Numero Uno, Dinner at Italiannies with Jinn Lin, Lan Yin and Yin Tin (friends since 12/13 years old). Two, Lunch at Yogi Tree with the fam. Thank you for taking time out to spend my birthday with me ;). Three, today (1/3/09) I'm meeting Effa for dinner at Marche. I really can't wait!!!! Cuatro, boss said, we might have a get together soon to celebrate. Muahahahah. One last one, I'll be meeting up with shiying on monday for lunch at the Pav. She's an old time friend of mine, not high school old, but local college old. =P What ppl said is really true. YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME. Can't always have it all.

If you can remember I mentioned something about hoping and wishing for something in my previous blog? Yea, I got it. Somethings are sitting in my room right now. I am so not telling what are they but just be happy for me ok? =)

Ppl spoke of New Years resolution. I told them I didn't have time to put thoughts into it. In the end, I just have one. KEEP POSITIVE ENERGY FLOWING. Yup, just that. =)

I am grateful.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T23:25:00.002+08:00

it is 30 minutes to Dec 25th and I'm staying home tonight. Can't believe (yet again) how fast this year has past me by. I remember last year today. I was working at MUST with Heay, and Dr. Lim let us off early. And so we headed to Ikano to meet up with family and did a little shopping too. Whereas today, I work in KL plus OT tonight, and got stuck in traffic at 1030pm driving home. I still can't believe it.

Last year today, I was missing q and today I am missing p. What vast difference? How do we explain all these losing and meeting new ppl? Guess we can't be greedy wanting everyone to stay in our lives forever... and so I accepted it.

Last year around this time, I was so excited expecting all kinds of gifts from far far away land. This year around this time, I had no expectation. Which I'm very pleased for. =) When we all grown & sexy (quote Babyface) we tend to have less expectations of from ppl, or is it just me?

I have one good news to share! babe told me last night that he got an offer for a master degree! Supposedly that school only give out 5 offers a year and so he's now one of them. I'm stoked for him! I can also hear he's very pleased. Yeay for him! It should take him two years to be done.

I will tell y'all about my trip to Australia later on. BE patient k? Oh by the way, I miss Chicago so damn much.

Merry Christmas. Have a safe one!

Seems familiar

2008-12-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

My home. Seem familiar yet not.

Dusts underneath our feet.

Smell of new paint.

Disorganized furniture.

A room that is no longer your own.

A bed that no longer fits your body contour.

The same corners yet unfamiliar.

I was at a very strange place these past few days. In fact, all of us were.

Still can't move back into my little room. Kinda bumped out when my ma told me that.

We were throw into a "new" place yet we were forced to walk on memories.

Mother made spring cleaning a bit sooner than expected.

Old and unwanted things to be removed.

Just feels like I cut ppl off my life like we did spring cleaning.

Could that be a good thing?

The very person I was thankful for is no longer in my life.

I simply said. Don't be mad but... I don't want to talk to you anymore.

I may or may not regret. Some relationships are worth keep holding on to. Some aren't.

While this is going down like landslide. My babe, keeps my head up high.

When I look at my incoming calls record. I can see "unknown" appears every two to three days.

Don't matter where he's at what he's doing. He keeps us connected.

This may or may not last. Some relationships last. Some don't.

Mama called to ask when I'm heading back. Wasn't gonna leave until 10.

But guess what, I have to pack up now.

Thank you coffee/caffeine for a wonderful day today.

Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007

2008-12-04T15:03:00.002+08:00

My sister forwarded me an email and I want to share it with you.
We laughed our heads off reading this.
Hanafi was rolling on the floor... Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007
Karangan budak darjah 4

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.
Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.
Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.
Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di GentingHighlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.
Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.
Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

Let's write an email to our best friend!

2008-12-02T22:37:00.002+08:00

...very pleased to be home early tonight, relatively speakin.

Can't remember since when 12:01am is still considered "early" for me. Hmm... fell right back to my OLD habit for going to bed late. I've said this a thousand times. Late night is the best time to "quietly" get things done and get thoughts think through and writing things down on the checklist that I forgot to look at. Agree?

While driving home, I ring up Erin, no answer. Hence, I should write her an email. Doing so now.

Finishing up this year

2008-12-01T23:08:00.003+08:00

a lil busier than past years... ;)

Magora is mad at me because I was mad at him because he "accidently" called me a malay...

I just realized I won't be in KL for the coming weekends. This almost never happen to me. But guess it's pretty cool when you have somethin to keep your mind occupied ya? I'll only be back just in time to celebrate Navidad y mi cumpleaños.

Haven't been updating myself with Perez. it's shame.

Oooh! Can't wait to see my brother and Joyce again, in a foreign land. =) So happy his graduation is during summer time. I get to, hopefully, hang out by the beach, get some tan on and check out beach babes. I haven't start planning my packing list, might wanna work on it soon. At least I took my dry cleaning clothes to the cleaners today, that's a good start. Holy cow, we're leaving SOON!

Effin anticipation. Nope, not about the trip. But bout the new year.

Somethin that I've been dreaming about is on its way soon. Something that I've been requesting for is on its way soon. Satisfaction generator. Well, anyways don't think I'm making much sense here.

Nothing feels right when I'm not withchu, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.

Many ppl have things-to-do list, check list etc. I have my own set of those. The only problem I have is... I tend to forget to look at my list. LOL. What good is a list if I don't remember to look at it? LOL. Seriously not funny.

Will blog some more when I actually remembers what to say. Enjoy the last bit of 2008. Honestly, 2008 has been good to me. :)

Hung up

2008-11-28T20:37:00.002+08:00

Today

I hung up on my client

Today

Magora hung up before I could say goodbye to him, after he's told me he's flying back to England as of right now (8:38pm). I blame his phone line. Hahaha.

Right now, I can smell one of the greatness aromas in the entire universe. Coffee.

Yet, I ordered myself a Camomile Tea. As a compensation, I got a lil sugar donut treat. Ha.

Can I tell you why I hung up on my client?

She was being very rude and impossible and RIDICULOUSLY unreasonable. I can't get through her and no one could help me to get her to understand the situation. Why? She speaks only Mandarin (basically I'm stuck with her whenever she calls). Bleh. I knew who she was but she wouldn't admit she's that person. One minute, she's Mdm XYZ's employee; next, she's Mdm XYZ's customer??!! I asked her who's on the line, I said I needed a name for record. She wouldn't budge!!! She kept repeating "you can't do that". I was on the phone with her for 10 minutes AND I have a client sitting in front of me waiting for me to do what I was suppose to. SHIT. I couldn't bear it any longer and so I HUNG UP on her!!!! I know I was wrong. Being a customer service, no matter how angry I am, I can't ignore my client. Sigh. What's done is done. As the matter of fact, I really don't wanna deal with this crazy lady who doesn't even speak to her OWN son. Vice versa. Man oh man. I don't know how she gon react to my rude behavior... If my boss fires me because of that, SO BE IT. He could deal with this shit himself.

Whatever you do, if can. Do not do what I do for a living.

Magora~

Got a feeling that he's leaving Norway in a hurry. I hope everything is ok with him. Said he will call again when he gets back in England.

Thank goodness it's the weekend again. One hundred percent-ly grateful for it. I'm trying to unwind before heading home and also update y'all on somethings. ;) If you're reading this, I thank you for still visiting my blog to see me rant and bitch.

Peace.

Two Wrongs/ Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T00:55:00.006+08:00

For some reasons I thought of this song which I started listening from years ago... Hence, I'm listening to it now on repeat.

Today I discovered a brand new feeling, while reading an email. I don't think I've ever felt that someone actually know me the way this person does. He knows what I think, how I feel about certain situations when he wasn't even present to see how things went down. I was in awe reading through his words. My heart was warmed coz it is all new to me. At the same time I thought how could this person? Actually know me.

Now, I've switched to Anniversary by Tony Toni Tone.

This same person called me this afternoon, I was talking to my client.

This same person called me this evening, this time around, I couldn't wait another ring to answer his call. Thank goodness the line is perfect! Thank goodness clients weren't in my face! =) Let see, our phone call lasted 24:15 minutes. He was telling me his plans for getting a master. He was telling me how last night they had a scare on the oil rig thinking someone had fall off the platform. I just listen. Because the line was crystal clear. My mind's kinda stuck right now to recall what he's said... hahaha. All and all, we had a great conversation. And I miss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is Thanksgiving already, Malaysia's time. Though we do not celebrate it. BUT.

I want y'all to share with me what are you thankful for right this moment or this year so far?

I am thankful~

~for the decision I made 16 months ago.

~for the people who had travelled from my past into my present, with me. Though journey wasn't necessarily easy.

~for the people who chose to stay in my past.

~because I have a good home.

~for R. Magora

~being able to spend time with my sister.

~because I have met some really awesome people this year. Hanafi, Zaidi, Gary, Val, and Rammy.

~for people who chose to love me til this day.

~for a healthy me.

~for Paul.

~because my current job made me grow as a person.

~because my love for chocolate still hasn't change.

~for my ever growing playlist on my ipod.

~for Jinn Lin.

~because I get to travel to Gold Coast and Brisbane for my brother's graduation.

~for still having a sense of humor.

~for having papa and mama, alive.

~for having di and mei.

~because Erin finally has her special someone ;)

~because Kimmy came down to visit.

~for Gmail, Facebook and Myspace.

Huh, this list could go on and on and on. I really want y'all to think about what you're grateful for. Thanksgiving is more than turkey, sweet potatoes pie, stuffings, cranberries sauce and finally passing out on the couch watching tv. Thanksgiving let us not forgetting to be thankful, hmm, at least one day outta 365 days... =)

Happy Thanksgiving 2008!!!!!

learnin how to look at the big picture

2008-11-17T21:08:00.002+08:00

... makes life an easier place to be. We had an event past weekend. Shitty things do and did happen. Good things happened too! I was in charge of the rooming list and registration. I made name tags for folks. Some ppl saw the left over tags on the desk and said wow so many ppl did not show up. I said to them, how bout look at those who showed up and are in the ballroom right now. We all tend to fell into the trap where we focused more on the negative things... I mean three hundred plus ppl showed compared to the twenty ppl who didn't.

Ain't gone lie. I was very very upset for a while when I got yelled at for no apparent reason by someone STUPID and IGNORANT singaporeans. I can take it when other ppl yell at me, but NOT singaporeans I tell ya. If you don't like how things are done here in Malaysia, you can take your asses way back to your little stinky ass island. Yea, to remind you, you are just an island, always gon be an island.

I've also realized something over the weekend. I am grateful for a boss like mine. Always expecting for nothing less than best. He made me want to strive for more, strive for the best! In turn helping me to be the best in what I'm doing. =) Thank you boss.

Past weekend was hell for the most of us. Nonetheless it was a successful event! Icing on top of my cake was getting to meet so many awesome ppl AND to work with my peeps! We had fun no matter what we're doing, we had fun even during the worst time you could imagine. =D Thank you so so so much guys. Love you!

Back to my point, let's try to look at the big picture. It does add happiness to our lives. I promise. Practice everyday. ;)

p.s. but when it comes to s'poreans you best bet I will throw that big picture outta my window!

Eh

2008-11-13T22:12:00.003+08:00

Have you ever drove out of the city, looking at your rear view mirror and saw KL Twin Towers getting smaller? It is one of the best feelings.

Anyways, been crazily busy. Couldn't blog. Wanted to tho. By time when I get home, I'm too tired trying to remember what I was gon say. Just like right now.

Holla if anything.

Peace.

Untitled

2008-11-02T23:30:00.003+08:00

Let the past be where it's suppose to be.

I think that'll allow me to trust.

To believe in better things.

But how do you know when to believe?

But how do you know how to believe?

And how do you know who to believe?

We carried our pasts with us. To remind, to serve as a lesson.

But that same pasts sometimes hinder us.

So do we believe? Do we love?

Speaking of love.

There is no true love. Hardly true love.

Most ppl love.

But they only love the idea of love.

And they only love the created image of the other person.

They only love the idea of belonging to somewhere, someone.

I think it is true to a certain extant.

Thinking back on who I've loved.

I loved the persons I created in my mind.

Do I know who they are? I can't answer you.

Why do we get disappointed at ppl?

Because we've created an image of how that person is suppose to be.

When that person didn't live up to the image, we get upset.

Image, might not be the correct choice of word here.

I have more to digest. I am flustered.

I probably can't sleep tonight.

Wanna know why?

Ask.

Another page on my calendar

2008-11-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

I flipped another page of the calendar, November is exposed. I suppose that means another month has passed. I only have two pages left since I first bought it. I suppose that means this year is almost over... Is this how most people remind they selves how time passes?
November is much anticipated. Got so much planned for work. I got one word, YUCK. LOL. Seriously, late nights aside, we're gonna have an influx of TMs in da office. More ppl means what???? More ppl means more trouble coz we all know that human beings are problematic. Let alone human beings who are money hungry!!!!! Grrrrr.. =D Oh yea, I'm smiling, Imma smile through the whole ordeal. If you can't hide can't fight, you be, one, with it.

Someone called me at 11:39pm last night, I was too lazy to answer. Someone called me at 6:00am this morning, I answered because I knew it was him. He is far away, he also sounded far away. I blame the phone line. I couldn't hear one complete sentence, I was half asleep still. As if he's talking under water, as if he's talking in the chicago wind... But babe, thank you so much for having me in mind and thank you so much for calling. I enjoy your emails. I enjoy the surprise calls you gave me. ;)

So many random thoughts are running through my mind. I ought to tell you this story from the book A New Earth (Eckhar Tolle). 'member I was saying learning how to let go? Here it goes:

Two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, who were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side. The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn't restrain himself any longer. "Why did you carry that girl across the road?" he asked. "We monks are not supposed to do things like that." "I put the girl down house ago," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

Think this through, don't we often trapped ourselves doing what Ekido did? Don't we often burdened ourselves doing what Ekido did? I DID.

After reading this story, I couldn't stop smiling. In the coming days, I shall be less like Ekido!

Yo, hold up. You might be wondering why this chick has been mentioning A New Earth more than she should be? Well you guys, I am not trying to be no saint. Just wanna be less angry*, more patient. Since I've got this awesome book that actually helps. You bet I'll hang on to it and sometimes like to share it with you. It'd be best to pick it up from your nearest book store baby! Hahahah.

*I'm one angry person.

99 balloons...

2008-10-30T23:55:00.003+08:00

Received an email from Erin yesterday saying I should check out this video.

I've watched it several times. My conclusion is. I am thankful to have more than 99 balloons...

If you haven't already seen it. Please spend a tiny fraction of your life to watch this video. =)

Much needed

2008-10-30T23:22:00.004+08:00

Have you ever wonder why am I not living the life that I wanted that I dreamed of? I have.

But I have since tried changing the way I look at life. Instead of trying to reach some imaginative places... I simply cherish the life I'm living in NOW. I've probably said something along the line in my previous entry. It is not until lately I am able to do so.

Like this evening, got off work around 730pm. My coworkers and I walked over to Pavilion to have a dinner and talk about something outside work. To me, that was blissful already. I am grateful for an evening without rain, I am grateful for a walking distance hip hang out place. I am grateful to have coworkers that I can hang out with outside of work. Life is that much easier when we learn how to appreciate little things that surround us every single day.

Yes, I might not have the funds to travel and to see the world.

Yes, I might not have extra money to buy big ass LV bag. ;)

Yes, I might not have the funds to get dolled up like the Palins (oops).

But,

I have a little camera that I bring everywhere to immortalize special moments with special people.

I have a trusty old car that brings me where I am needed.

I have a pair of healthy eyes allowing me to read A New Earth, to see, and also to blog for you.

Most importantly,

I have a home.

Hey now, of course I will have my moments... But those moments do not come as often anymore. I didn't say learning too see things differently and learning to let go is a quick process. It takes time just like anything else in this world.

All and all, I feel renewed.

5:37 minutes from the other side of the world...

2008-10-22T23:05:00.004+08:00

The sweetest, most nerve calming, 5 minutes 37 seconds phone call came when I was watching CSI: Miami. I have no problem leaving my tv set when I saw caller ID shows "unknown". I knew right away, it was him. Yes even though it lasted only 5 minutes 37 seconds. It was enough for me to tell him how much I miss him and that he should hop on the next flight to come back to KL. ^^ He couldn't stop laughing with his signature laughter!

Me: How are you? Tell me tell me!

Him: I'm pretty cool but could be better.

Me: Cool like weather cool or you're really cool?

Him: I'm cool. But could be better.

Me: What can make you better baby?

Him: You coming here.

Me: LOL LOL LOL

Him: LOL LOL LOL

For some reason, I knew he was gon call me today. That's why I had my phone glued to my hips all day... even at work. He said he'll call later... Because he was in a restaurant and I couldn't hear him well. I was so happy to hear his voice, almost dissolved into tears again. I cried when I was reading his email too... gosh... So freakin PMS-ing!!! I said to him baby, I'm very happy to hear from you but I can't really hear you. LOL.

Well y'all I just wanna share how this 5:37 minutes made all my worries disappeared into thin air... Right now, I want to fight this cold & flu bug!!!!! Been suppressing it for two weeks, and now it's attacking me. Sigh. Late night sessions will totally ruined any immunity against bugs you have. So ppl, get early rest. ok?

Listening to come with me by SHAI. I wanna dedicate this song to the guy that I really like. =)

People come people go...

2008-10-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

Same goes to anything

Bit of a "earthquake" happened where I worked. yea.

Some people saw better opportunities elsewhere and had left...

Some remained might be a bit upset.

I say, why not?

It is a real world after all...

Why hold on to loyalty?

When it doesn't put a roof over your head...

I say go! Go for it!

Me I don't have any hard feelings.

I could give a shit-less about what's been going on.

Just want my paycheck same time every month.

If I could get a big-ger check,

I'll leave in a heart beat. too.

Our world is way to real for us to be loyal.

Take that!

Ngeh, I ain't mad.

Got more in mind now.

Wanna be the best in what I do. For real.

World class services. always. ;)

Don't know where the inspiration came from...

Was it babe?

Was it that future big-ger paycheck?

Like I said, people come people go.

Same goes to everything...

Just came across a great quote

2008-10-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

NOW, you have NO excuses for not doing what your heart desires.

Gone

2008-10-19T20:45:00.005+08:00

Gone. Until whenever it may be.

He's the only guy who made me walked in the rain

He's cried

He's stuffed cash* in a Mentos case

and tried giving em to me, knowing I don't do gums.

He's bought me calling card,

reminding me to use landline to call coz it's free.

We've said numerous goodbyes

I've heard the pilot's announcement

We've talked about it

I've kissed his forehead goodbye

We've stayed on the phone until he really had to go

He's asked me will I be fine

I've answered it will never be fine but it will find its way to be okay...

For cryin out loud, I'm effin lost right now.

Since when did it happen?

and why did it happen?

*To buy me a jacket we saw few days back ;)

An email to my buddies Erin and Rina

2008-10-05T22:39:00.001+08:00

You guys (My loves)!

I am totally back. With no more activities related to my nice long break! Last Tuesday, we had a half day at work. Got off work around 4pm, arrived home feeling relieved and stoked. Called up my old friends to see what they up to. We ended up hanging out for dinner, supper and tea. Plain talking! Wednesday, went to the mall, watched a movie (could you believe I finally actually have time for one real theater kine movie?), had Italian for lunch (yum!), hang out some more. By this point, I've probably gained two pounds coz I let myself eat with no restrictions. Heheheh. It's my break so let it be a real break baby!!!!

Thursday came, we packed up with my cousin and headed up to Selesa Hillhomes, it's like a hill-y place with fresh cool air, relaxation yo. =) Relax is the key word there. Friday, we drove up to a higher altitude mountain. The place is one of our tourists attraction with ONE and ONLY ONE legalized casino in Malaysia. We didn't gamble, we just played at the arcade. Hahahaha. After that, we had a really BIG HUGE buffet lunch. Good food I tell ya. By the way, I haven't felt this burden-free and happy in a long ass time.

We left Selesa Saturday morning after breakfast. =) Me and my friends had plan for clubbin that night yea? My mother put up the biggest fight EVER! I went out anyways. They picked my up around 830pm for dinner first and then change and make up at Jinn Lin's house. They brought me to this one club named Poppy Room. It was fucking crowded and hot. BUT it made me wanna cry. I was like how can I not know about this place til now? It's huge inside k, some a/ced rooms, some are open air (the smoke factor went down drastically). They played good music, our kine. I didn't bother with the mixed drinks and went straight to vodka shots. Three shots in a roll baby, we got so hot after. We started dancing and I had a great great time you guys. After dancing at one spot, I was like we need to switch places. That club was crowded but we managed to find a nice spot where we could check out guys. To me, I don't see nobody coz they all asians and stuff. It really didn't bother me all that much coz I just wanna DANCE! After about 2 songs, this guy came up from the back. He was like do you wanna dance? I said sure. Lo and behold, he is black. LOL LOL LOL! What a coincidence ya? (I know he'd been checking me out since I got to the spot, I just didn't wanna make a move) He's totally NOT my type coz he SKINNY. I was like what the heck I'll give it a shot, not gon be all picky for a dance buddy. He made me so happy. He doesn't smell like alcohol nor a chimney. He's slightly taller STILL effin SKINNY. After some bumpin and grindin, I suggested we head out for some air. ^^ Ya know what? As I was "freakin" him, I saw some girls be staring at me. LOL. I know I'm HUGE but that don't mean I can't freak. LOL.

Anyways, we left the club found a little cafe sat down and started talking. He is funny!!!! Haven't been able to talk to a guy with the intention of just talking. We talked for an hour and I really had to leave, coz I promise my ma I'd be home before 3am. I know IT SUCKS. He said to me, do you really have to leave now, he was trying to negotiate. LOL I told him, you have no chips to negotiate with me. And so my night ended. Before I left I told him I was gonna see him on Sunday. My friends were teasing me, asking me how did I "get" a man just like that? LOL Keep in mind, that was our FIRST time ever clubbing together.

Today, woke up as usual. Went grocery shopping with my ma and sis. He texted me around 1130am asking me if I can come through. I told him no coz I just wanna spend time with my sister ya. And we did the texting thing for a bit. I took a nap til about 330pm. He called me up around 4pm, we talked for two hours straight... One long ass conversation. The first half, he was giving me shit about not keeping my promise. LOL. Then we just talking and flirting and stuff. It was overall good. =) I promised (again) I'll see him tomorrow after work. Can't wait! I want to do grown up stuffs! I want to have intelligent conversations. I want to date. I want to make more friends and I think he's gon be a good one ^^. I mean isn't cool, meeting someone who's been to places? Anywho, check out myspace or fb for new photos. Erin, especially you! =)

A bit of details:
He's from England, temporary living in Korea for a project.
He's a software computer dude.
He's FUNNY!!!!
He'll only be here for a week or two.
Errbody called him Rammy or Ram, I didn't catch his full name.

I think he's smart. ^^

LOVE YOU BOTH. very much.

yash

Ppl come ppl go

2008-09-24T22:28:00.004+08:00

I have friend on FB, her status quote "is tellin herself ppl come ppl go". I could not agree less with what she'd said. Tonight, I just dropped someone outta my life. I am seriously old enough to know what's good for me and what's bad for me. There is no need to contemplate. But I did it anyways for about a week or two. I contemplated. At last, I know we ain't gon work for the long run. Painful yet this decision allows me to breathe free.....

Like my friend said. Ppl come ppl go.

Update: A few minutes after I posted this entry. An old friend of mine called. Seeing how I'm doing, to talk to me and stuff. We ended up yapping for 1 hour 4 minutes and 35 seconds. =) Great talk girl. Thank you so much! For caring.

My memories that you too can see...

2008-09-24T15:28:00.003+08:00

Contrast.

You totally wouldn't notice you're next to the ocean just looking at this photo ;) That's why Hawaii is so unique.

So blue it makes me wanna cry. Yes I cry about pretty much eveything. And?

There you have it UCKS Coffee!

Revisiting memories

2008-09-23T22:47:00.006+08:00

Am currently uploading some old photos onto FB. I know Rina would like to see more of those old pictures. =) Since now none of us are living there, these pictures might help the "homesick" syndrome a little... Hawaii is a gorgeous gorgeous place. If anyone who has a chance to visit, do not hesitate and never doubt. ok?

Side note, I was reading Su Ann's blog the other day. She is attending Columbia U. She lives in New York, New York. I asked my mother*, what would have happened to my life if I were to attend any school in NYC? My question went unanswered. Now, looking back at these pictures how could I ever? think about living in NYC? Silly me. I know I know, this is probably the gazillionth time I've blogged about how much I miss Hawaii, how effin beautiful Hawaii is... ya ya ya. But what's not to love? Yes, we don't have the best college football team. Yes, we DO NOT have pro football**. Still, what's not to love about Hawaii? My best (friends) years happened on that island. I met the most amazing people on that island (peeps in Chi you are just as amazing k). I had the most awesome drinking sessions on that island***. I met the hottest men on that island. And how can I forget, my graduation happened on that island. Heheheh... Bear with me, just freakin mesmerizin now k?

Distracted, I proceed with going through my graduation photos... Can you believe I actually finished school? For a person that hated school since she was 6? LOL.

Man, do you guys hate me for doing this all the time? Are you guys sick of me doing this? Do let me know if you're tired of me being that broken tape player. =)

I miss my girls like crazy.

*Mother hates and never answer hypothetical questions. But her daughter loves asking such questions...

**This brings me to the BEARS. What's up with last week's game? 3 points lost to effin Buccaneers during OT????? Pissed me off.

***Remember once before heading out to country club, Kimmy's friend Honey served me a Screw Driver consists of 12oz of vodka and a tiny splash of orang juice. Dang, after that night I have the worst hang over EVER in the history of my drinking life!!!! Actually that vodka craze was only the starters for the night, after that I have shots after shots of Crown Royal. So you really can imagine the state of my hang over. LOL. shit, I just realize Crown Royal is actually whisky... So that means, I DO LOVE whisky! Oh my world. Tips for ya, the best way to serve Crown Royal is to chill it in the freezer before consuming. Trust me on that, you will not feel the burn. ;)

WordTwist

2008-09-23T00:29:00.005+08:00

It's one minute to 1230am Tuesday. I'm eating Beryl's Chocolates. On the label it says, Raisins, Hazelnuts, and Almonds coated with milk chocolate.... Let's NOT get started with the nutrition label k. Before I decided to write an entry, I was totally engaged in Word Twist on FB. My partner in crime is Carleton W. He is so so so smart, always beat me in every single game we played. Yea, I really sucked. My vocab capacity is just as big as a 5 year old compare to Carleton. I don't mind losing to a person as smart as he is... ^^

Maybe the chocolates I ate has something to do with vocab capacity... Who knows.

My new book! Such A Pretty Fat. Hilarious and witty. *I'm still eating them chocolate.* You don't have to be fat to read this book, but you'll relate better if you FAT! LMAO.

There ain't much had happened. I was in a really good mood whole day today. =) Feels good ya know. Let's keep this one short, I wanna get back to my Word Twist. But before I go, I wanna shout out to my peeps in Chicago!

I MISS EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU: Evvy, Maria, Daisy, Flor, Nancy, Millie, Sylvia, Justine, Kathy, Debra, Alicia, Jeanette, DaVina, Elyna, Kim, Sergio, Ashley, and last but not least mizz Dionne.

p.s. He said he loves me because I'm stubborn. Do you cry or do you laugh?

p.p.s. My friend is leavin next Tuesday. =( To the boonies in CO. I'll miss him.

This should be a post on its own

2008-09-19T21:29:00.009+08:00

I came up with a theory this afternoon. I only told Hanafi about it. And now I'm letting you in...

Why do people get married?

We grew up having friends. When we get older we might have a boyfriend or two...

But that boyfriend or two can never get in between the friendships we have... At least I hope.

And as we age, our friends will leave us. Move, die, travel, have babies, disappear or what not...

So what do we do? When all of our trusted and most loved friends left us?

We get married! We feel lonely, we feel lost, we feel the emptiness of not having good friends.

So we get married! Find new friends you say?

How many of you can honestly say, the best ones aren't the old ones?????

And so we get married!

Yea, I hate it when ppl leave me. About to OR had left me... I hate it, I do not accept it well. That's me.

*I've moved on to Homie, Lover, Friend also by R. Kelly.

Catching up but still pissy...

2008-09-19T21:29:00.004+08:00

Hey. It is the time of the week again, to be pissy and mad. Oh yea, I was that just about two days ago right? Uh huh, I didn't forget. =) I am at it again though.

I am pissed off at first because I am not doing what I went to school for. Then, I began to pissed off about I am pissed off because of the previous reasons. A little later, I was pissed off about I'm always pissy about something. Also, I was pissed off about why I am not doing anything about things that made me pissy. Woooooooo! What a mouth full! Sometimes I would think, why can't I just be more grateful? I do have a job. I have income. Gosh, such deja vu right now. Didn't I just blogged about this shit?

People said, if you're not gonna make any changes then stop complainin.

Let me tell you what happened yesterday at work. I have a few clients came in to do their monthly things... To make it short, a lady asked for my birth date. I gave. She punched it into her cell phone, after a while she started tellin me things.

Things. Like, I appeared to be close to my parents, which I'm really not. She repeated it like four times. I nodded, more than once.

Things. Like, it is very hard for me to make any kind of decisions. I nodded.

Things. Like, to be careful at work, coz there are tons of "xiao ren" meaning negative ppl doing things behind my back. I tilted my head a little...

Things. Like, I'm lucky to have Yasha* as my name. To sort of counteract the negativity my birth date generates.

I believed and agreed what she had said. She even told me, she's went to I-Ching classes that study the elements of life. You might think this is just superstitious. But, I believe. And that's all that matters...

*Though Yasha is only my nickname, she said, but that's what most ppl use. You cannot change your birth year and date but you can change what you'll use for the rest of your life. For example, cell phone numbers, nickname and such. Like herself, she was harsh, so she changed her English name to become more approachable and like-able! How cool is that?

Listening to Trade In My Life, Step In The Name Of Love... and I Decided by R. Kelly.

Babe is......

Like I said before it's gon be a long and difficult journey.

You are a caring and loving man babe...

You are very sensitive, you said you can feel it on your skin sometimes....

That I'm not like before. That I am different.

I agree...

I'm trying. To see it in a different light, even if it's a dim one....

Compassion Deficiency

2008-09-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

I've got serious compassion deficiency. Do I really hate my life that much? Got almost everything a person my age could have. Uh huh.

I woke up opened my eyes, first thing that came into mind. ...I'm not doing what I went to school for 5.5 years for... My best friends are doing great things! One works in a hospital, one works for WIC. They are doing great things in life. Totally hating why now at 25 still be thinking about err what am I gonna be when I grow up...

I was thinking about what's lacking in me while chatting with Effa this evening after dinner at Starbucks. Ok yea, you're not suppose to drift away in thoughts while hanging out... But I figured it out! I lack compassion, hence my beginning statement, "compassion deficiency"!!!!! The symptoms that come with it are hot & short temper, pissy all the time, rude to the ones you love, short to no eye contact, don't care if I'm going to hell for saying mean things, ceased providing world-class customer services and some unknown symptoms. Any medication suggestions besides food and alcohol????

Oooooh Someone just messaged me on FB, he said compassion is a weakness..... sometimes this is like spring shower much needed during hot summer days. I'm impressed. I'm feelin a little less pissy now. LOL. Thanks Genn.

Say No

2008-09-16T19:13:00.001+08:00

TO SARAH PALIN!!!!!

Check out
http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm
http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm
http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm
http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm
http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm

Mooncake, iphone, Colorado and it spells Random

2008-09-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

Sitting here feeling absolutely fat and full or full and fat. I had so much to talk about, at least I thought I have so much to talk about. But after a little eating and drinking, the ideas are all gone...

Today started out completely wrong. Of course, my day follows the wrong steps too. I was pissy and mad all day long, at everybody. Yes I was. Towards the evening, I was totally flat (and fat!) LOL. I have my own reasons to be pissy: ppl asking me STUPID questions, two-face bitches, and dumb-ass bitches. That's all thank you very much. It really doesn't take that much to piss me off ^^ Oh I guess I can share a bit about somethings that made me go ah~~~ Well, peeps are back from the US of A. Some brought back goodies for us! YEAY! Nice little gestures, but MUCH MUCH appreciated guys!!!! I got T-Shirts, Mug, Bag filled with more goodies, and more T-Shirts! One more! One more! I learned three new words today. LOL. (1) Enrollment (2) Retention (3) Average of sales. Errrm yea.

As I'm writing to you, I'm having our last pieces of mooncake. =P Peeps, a friend of mine is leaving for Colorado soon (way too soon). =( He'll stay at least three months or up to one year!!!! K, I don't see him everyday. But the thought of him being over there during winter time makes me sad... Winter in Chicago is no fun; winter in Colorado is shit! Yup I said it, shit! ..................................

This weekend was fruitful. I'm currently reading a new book: The Matrimony. Speaking of which makes me wanna leave y'all to attend to my book. I celebrated an old friend's burfday at Delicious. Hung out with three old friends (that's when m.f. decided to tell us he's going off to US). I bought three burfday cards. I bought OldTown White Coffee and a bag of HACKS candy to mail it to my TwistWord buddie a.k.a. Ikea Boy. I celebrated Mooncake Festival with fam on Sunday, didn't get to go out or anything... I think that's about it.

...................................

Today my FB status quote: I could careless about mankind.

I read Rina's latest note. ...why the year 2008 should be over with... If you read her note, you would have agreed with her just like I did. That was also what prompted me to think I could careless about mankind. Really. Mankind could buy you goodies from trips; mankind could also eff you up pretty good and over and over again.

..................................

I am "dying" to get my hands on an iphone. Muahahahha!

I am also "dying" to get back to my bed and book.

Good night!

More Lyrics for YOU

2008-09-13T00:04:00.005+08:00

A Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I am freakin touched by this song I heard from the radio tonight. Awww...... such a sad sad song. Reminds me of people who've lost their loved ones to 9/11, seven years ago. Haven't you seen family members posted pictures all over NYC after it happened? They wanted to know have you seen their mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, best friends, fiance, wife, husband, son, daughter, pets? Heart breaking even seven years later...

Moving On

Just getting used to waking up everyday
Not seeing your face
I just began to stop setting your place
And I stop longing for your warm embrace
And it was God that made me able
To finally sleep at night
Though you're not by my side
Finally I don't hardly cry
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
I finally put your cloths away
You know the ones you wore the day
That you were taken away from me
I just began to stop wearing my ring
And I finally stop playin' our song
When I realized I was dancin' alone and
Finally God gave me strength
To go on and breath again
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
God knows it's time for me to move on
I want to feel alive again
I want to be in love again
And no matter how hard I try
I can't erase you from my mind
And I gotta find somebody new
But I just can't get over you
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life I
tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life

Rina sent me this song, she also highlighted this to me:

I finally stop playin our song when I realized I was dancing alone...

Don't you wanna start ballin your eyes??? This is so so true for the most of us. ;) I felt exactly this way more than a year ago. Insanely sad, horribly true.

Highway "fun"

2008-09-11T18:11:00.003+08:00

On my way to work this morning on KL-Putrajaya highway.

All of a sudden, I saw a huge ass beamer keeps flashing headlights at this teeny car in front, on the fast lane opposite direction. Usually this signals please get out of my way!!! Guess what? That tiny little car wouldn't budge. I'm not talking about 3 series, I'm talking bout this 7 series black beamer came flying down the highway!!! Ok now, who would be SO STUPID to stand in a beamer's way??? Did he really think that he could out run the 7 series with his little ass Savvy?

Me, when I see some big headlights car behind me, I will move outta their way immediately. I will not wait til the car is on my ass coz I know it aint' so smart trying to out run somebody with my 10 year old baby. =P

So guys, unless you're driving a 7 series please do not try to out run someone and I don't care how great your driving skills are!

Drive safe, be safe.

Life at home with parents.

2008-09-10T22:45:00.003+08:00

After dinners, sometimes lunches. Mother and I would sit out at porch on rocking chairs. Getting fresh air, relaxing, catching up. One day, this topic came up. We have two houses in the neighborhood, occupied by middle age single woman. Their children are grown, husbands one gone, one passed. For one of the women, my mother exclaimed "what an anti-climax!" After visiting son and grandson, she had to come back to this big empty house... Sigh, I said. Mother went on saying being able to live with children is a blessing, vice versa. I thought to myself, yes. Then I stopped thinking. Instead I started pitying that lady. When she got married, she definitely didn't know she would lose her husband to nasty cancer. She definitely wasn't prepared for living alone at the age of 50 plus 60 years old...

Few days later, I started thinking about life living with parents. How has it been? I remember mother once said, it was a blessing for her being able to take care of grandfather during his finals years... With that being said, am I super duper blessed living with them now? Yes. Some people would look at it as oh how useless still living at your parents. Yea to a certain point it could be true. But I bet not many people can live with their parents... There bound to be frictions, but that's normal! =) Coz we can always work through frictions. There are only certain guidance could be given by our parents. There are only certain comfort could be given by our parents. So back to my question. How has it been? I can say it's been great! Not so much so how I feel really. It is more about how they feel having me at home. I know they are happy because of my presence, I know they are happy because my baby sister is less lonely. I know they worry less because I am home. Instead of me out in snow storm trying to get to work, as an example. =) If I can make them less worrisome, then I am satisfied. Worrying makes ppl age must faster. Like I said before there bound to be complications, but we are family, we will work it out!

You guys, the feeling of taking care of someone else's parents does not feel good at all. Makes you think what about my own parents? Right? So if you're physically capable, go home more often. If you're not, call them more often. I promise you, they will appreciate the little gesture.

I know I have more to say. But right now, my brain tells me to go to bed. So good night!

Making plans

2008-09-08T17:49:00.002+08:00

I've been putting everything on hold for a while. Now, I am making plans to finish what I've started.

I miss holding up a good book and read for hours.
I miss sitting in front of my 2000 pieces puzzle, trying to make it a complete picture.
I miss having friends. And actually hang out with them.
I miss good old me time.
I used to bake.
I used to cook.
I used to remember every single one of your birth dates.

Now things are a bit different. I will have a lot more me time. I figure I can start doing what I've missed and what I was used to... ^^
Speaking of burfdays. I got a FEW coming up in the month of september and october. I better hurry to get things together so I won't miss anything.

Road Rage

2008-09-03T18:37:00.002+08:00

Rage defined in Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary means violent and uncontrolled anger.
If you add the word "road" in front of rage, you will get road rage!
If road rage was a diagnosed disease, I would be tested positive. It really is not a pretty story to tell ya. But road rage is scary. About a month ago, we left work pretty late. I dropped my coworkers on the side of the road and then I put on my left signal wanting to get back on track. I saw a Myvi coming from the back, I KNOW he saw my signals and yet he refused to let me out AND he honked at me, several times. All of a sudden, my rage took over, I tail gated that stupid car and kept honking at him too! I was well aware of my actions yet I cannot control myself to stop. It was not the first time I experience road rage... My road rage stories are too horrible to tell...
I just want to say, please drive carefully out there. Do no be like me. And do not be like that stupid guy in the dinky little Myvi! Oh by the way, I HATE PPL WHO DRIVES IN SMALL CARS!!!!!!!!

A lacto-ovo's story...

2008-09-03T08:39:00.003+08:00

Been a vegetarian for almost all my life. I am a "lacto-ovo". That means I do take dairies and eggs. Of course being a vegetarian comes with challenges. With that being said I didn't mean I'm missing out good food in life, I didn't mean it is hard for me to find good food anywhere I go. The perception of good or bad is all in da head. The challenges I am referring to are the challenges that human beings give me.

Lets go back to when I was around 6 or 7 years old, during Christmas family and I will go back to Kampar my grandparents place to celebrate. I remember this one year, we went over to grandparents friend's house for Christmas party. Food was of course prepared, but me and my brother wouldn't eat. One of the aunties came asking us, why don't you eat. I answered her we don't eat meat. She said oh why? Jesus/God (I forgot which one) allowed us (Christians) to eat (meat). She continued saying something like how can you not eat meat, you can't grow properly, yadda yadda yadda... By the way, it was from then I started to hate Christians. LOL. Now, I don't hate them no more because not everyone is like that aunty. ^^

*My brother and I did not look like siblings when we're younger. I'm big and he's sickly looking and skinny. So ppl would comment something like see vegetarian is no good for children, look at him. Then I would say, no look at me, I am just fine. LOL.

Even then at 6 or 7, my mother still allowed us to have KFC during school holidays when Heay and fam came visit us. How weird huh? She knows it will take us sometime to get use to not having meat, poultry, fish in our diet.

Fast forward a bit to 8-9 years old, IN SCHOOL, that's where the fun starts. We started to have more friends. We eat together during break time. There was once. My classmate challenged me, he said, it will be ok for you to eat meat because you don't ACTUALLY kill them! (Ooh how smart) You just eat. At that time I was confused. So I went home asked my dad why? My dad said if all of us do not eat animals then those butchers would have nobody to kill for and no reason to kill... And so I told myself, that will be how I would answer them back next time.

By the time I get to high school or college (can't remember), someone challenged me. He said plants is ALSO living things and how could you kill them? Ooh I was speechless then. In my religion, animals have soul, animals feel pain, animals think... Plants don't have soul. There are somethings, ya just can't explain in English. Hahahah. Well yea. =)

You are probably wondering why am I talking about this? You are probably wondering why I call it challenges?

Last night, as I was chatting with baby. This issue came up. He's another person that asked me how is plants different? How do you know plants don't feel pain? I was feeling a bit offended at first but I was over it in no time. No no, not coz he's my babe. Just that, ppl have minds of their own, I cannot expect them to not wonder. I am grateful that my best/good friends NEVER EVER questioned me, NEVER challenged me. We respect each others beliefs. We do not allow different beliefs to get in between our relationships. ;)

I call it challenges because ppl should maybe just try to understand. Don't you think so? AND stop asking me how do I know if plants don't feel pain. lmao. Nah seriously, I used to tell ppl I am a vegetarian because of religion. Now, I tell ppl I am a vegetarian because that is my way of life. I chose not to eat people's flesh, I chose not to kill for food. Yea, I might kill a plant or two but. It is my choice. =)

Though my baby challenged me. He still respects my decision. Just like I respect his. We even joked said, I will stop eating food and start eating steels, iron, and diamonds. LOL.

Just a side note. I used to hate Christians is because they are the only ones that go around telling ppl who to believe and what to eat. I haven't seen any Muslims or Hindus telling me what to do. However, after I moved to the states. I met really awesome Christians, I used to go to church with my roommate Lisa during Thanksgiving or Easter. They all know that I'm not one of them, yet they didn't try to get me to abandon my beliefs. I mean I was in a church and not one person made comments about my religion. =) I thank them for changing my negative perceptions about Christians. Thank you. I am grateful.

So there! I am a lacto-ovo!!!!!

Last/First day of August

2008-08-31T20:37:00.003+08:00

Felt like something is missing the whole day. Wanted to cry almost. Listening to Babyface again. Shoulda spend today elsewhere. Shoulda not been home to avoid some conflicts. For some reason, home is not where I wanna be. I miss. And I want. Yet, I know I gotta be patient. So hard to do.

Well, this is what Imma do now. Got off the net and continue my Grey's marathon. See ya!

I wish y'all the best for the rest of this three day weekend. =)

Where is your can do attitude?

2008-08-27T21:22:00.002+08:00

Long ago, I was taught to display can do attitude at all times at work. Especially during a job interview. I was told you have a higher chance of getting hired if you display such attitude. True indeed.

Today, while battling my migraine at work. I asked myself, where is my can do attitude? Then and there I realized I've lost it. I have lost one of the most valuable attitude. No good, I told myself.

What triggered me to ask that question? When Ribena asked me to do something he coulda done himself. I was like WHAT? But my mouth utter ok ok yes I'll check on that. The angel on one of my shoulders said, it's ok, you will try your best to do though it is not your responsibility, the devil inside me said, eff that I ain't doing it. So, I ended up unwillingly did what he had asked me to do. After the whole ordeal, I was little disappointed at myself.

Could not put my hands on what washed away my can do attitude. Was it frustrations towards some aspects of life? Or do I need a life coach? =) Ah~ who knows? All I know is Imma start wearing can do attitude on dem sleeves again. ^^

What a long day today... Woke up with a headache on one side, awaken because of the headache. Kept wanting to eat all day long. My excuse is getting my period soon. LOL. By the way, my M.I.A friend is finally back on da net. We are glad and happy that she's fine. =)

As I'm writing this entry, I am also writing an email to my ex. As I'm writing to my ex, I am also tearin up... Sometimes somethings are just a bit too late...

Things that make me go ah~

2008-08-25T22:10:00.002+08:00

Fresh air after storm.

Take time to listen, take time to look.

Friends dropping me messages.

Kiss and make up. Which sometimes feels like gone to hell and back again.

Pay Day.

Talking to Erin.

Goin crazy laughin while stuck in rush hour.

Make up sex.

Laughing because things my coworker said at work.

Rain drops of the falling rain.

Playing with sister.

Wear heels to work.

Taking pictures.

bEEr on one hand, babe's hand on another.

Wanted to blog about what I've observed in town while waiting for baby to be done with groceries. Uh huh, I was waiting in da car coz it was raining so heavy out. But nah, I'm just too distracted by my sister and I couldn't concentrate. Been thinking about babe all day long. He said that I've got his heart stolen... lol. I think it is the other way around!

I hope you like this picture. I hope it will bring peace into your mind coz it did for me.

Pictures I wanna show you long ago

2008-08-24T23:06:00.004+08:00

My lovely creation

This is what the twinnies look like when heavy rain falls

Bukit Bintang woh

2008-08-24T22:42:00.003+08:00

We don't usually come here. Jalan Bukit Bintang. The vibe this place sent out is not pleasant. Yea, many tourists come here, so are the illegal immigrants. I don't know what they do here, some pick pockets, some sell cheap brand names faker, and some just sit and watch (like me).

I am here at Starbucks, ordered Java Chip Frap (whipped cream on top), something I haven't have in a LONG LONG LONG time. I chose to take a sit inside where the glass wall separates me and the noisy, hot, dirty world. Dirty because ppl smoke, ppl litter, ppl spit, ppl having bad intentions toward another living creature.

Don't understand why there is always crowd at this place. Traffic is horrible, parking is always limited. Ppl why are you here? I got no choice but to be here. Work. The event doesn't start til 300pm. Well, I was here at 1155am. Waiting.

Aside from all my complaints. I am grateful for this little downtime for me to sit down and enjoy!

Looks better in B&W.

Happy Saturday peeps!

2008-08-23T10:28:00.002+08:00

Thought I'd squeeze in a little entry before I have to head our for work.

My friend has gone M.I.A. No emails from her. No reply of our texts. No reply of calls. No updates on her myspace page. She's deleted her facebook account. NADA. We know she's probably busy trying get everything packed and move. But girl, we miss you and you need to at least let us know you're still very much alive!

Ain't cool not to let us in on things. You might not give a damn. But we care.

Wooh, about time for reggae groove and some 420's AND the fastest man on earth baby!

It feels like spring time in winter

2008-08-20T19:49:00.003+08:00

As I was driving home late night last night. Babyface was on the radio... I carefully listened to his lyrics and OMG I thought. After how many times I've heard this song, only now I listened to it carefully. It says:

It feels like spring time in winter
It feels like christmas in june
It feels like heaven has opened up its gates for me and you

And every time I close my eyes
I thank the lord that
Ive got you
And youve got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself cause
I dont believe its true
That someone like you
Loves me too

Girl, I think that youre truly somethin
And youre, youre every bit of a dream come true
With you baby, it never rains and its no wonder
The sun always shines when Im near you
Its just a blessing that I have found somebody like you

To think of all the nights
Ive cried myself to sleep
You really oughtta know
How much you mean to me
Its only right that you be in my life right here with me
Oh baby, baby

Tears filled up my eyes. This song is simple yet so beautifully written, the person who wrote it definitely knows the right words to get to your heart and mine.

In love.
What comes into your mind when you see it? It gives me this old school feel.

Tell me again

2008-08-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

Why do ppl watch soccer? 22 wussies running around on the field chasing one ball. I called them what I call em because have you seen them rolling on the grass looking greatly in pain?? And the next minute, they are up and running as if it never happened. That's totally acting, hoping the referee would call foul on the opposing team. If ya wanna act, GO TO Hollywood!!! Football field is for true sportsmen.

OK, I admit I am bias. Oh yea, and maybe I don't know how to appreciate their "footwork". But c'mon rolling on grass and pretend you're injured? What the eff sport is that?

I still love my football y'all. CHICAGO BEARS all DA WAY!!!!

My baby better not be reading this blog. He'd be pissed off. Well, tonight we were watching semifinal btw Argentina and Brazil. Outta the blue...

He said: I remember you said you'll never love soccer.

I said: Yes, I'll never love soccer. You think I'll be sitting here watching this if you're not here?

He said: Yea, if I'm not here you'd be watching Gymnastics. Why are you watching this then? What will motivates you to watch soccer?

I said: Baby, you're the ONLY reason I would watch soccer.

He said: Maybe with time, after you watch more games with me you will like it.

I said: Yea...

Anywho, Argentina scored 3-0 against Brazil. They will be playing Nigeria on this Sat night. ^^

Of course you may argue who's more of a pussy. Men in TIGHT pants and shoulder pads or Men that ACT on football field instead of being real???

Soccers aside. I am so so so happy to see babe tonight. Love you more baby. :p

I still don't understand how could ppl go crazy for soccer? Like tonight, 45 mins into the game, there was still no score on the board. To me that means no action going on. yuck.

My baby not be reading this entry.

Sempurna -- Andra & The Backbone

2008-08-19T19:02:00.003+08:00

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

YOU GUYS!!! You've probably heard this song on the radio quite often if you live in Malaysia. I've heard this song a few times before I get the chance to steal it. ^^ Such a beautiful don't you think? For y'all that don't understand, I apologize. I will find time to roughly translate it.

*update
ROUGH Translation:

You are perfect
In my eyes, you're so beautiful
You made me think about you always

Every step I take
I will always think of you
I cannot imagine my life without your love

Don't you leave me
I can't go through life without you
It is only you I'm able

You are my inspiration
You are my heart
You are my life
You completes me
Oh my love, you are
Perfect... Perfect...

You hold my hand
Whenever I am weak and I fell
You whisper into my ear and all the regrets disappearred

Don't you leave me
I can't go through life without you
It is only you I will

You are my inspiration
You are my heart
You are my life
You completes me
Oh my love, you are
Perfect... Perfect...

Travel safe

2008-08-14T01:02:00.004+08:00

An old friend of mine will be moving from Washington DC to be stationed in Okinawa, flying out this saturday and he left me a message on Myspace. I'd consider we go way back when, I was only 21. Seems like a long time ago. He hasn't always been with me, emotionally he was there. No matter where he was, no matter where I have been. I miss you dearly.

He will be there for 24 months. I told him, after August 15th we have no excuse not to talk on the phone, at least we'll be in closer time zone. Let's not talk about long distance relationship, but this friendship between me and him definitely works! =) We also always have a thing for each other forever and ever...

He's always asked me how come I never made it to DC to see him... I have no answer to that.

He was in Chicago only a few days after I left... sob

Fate went into over drive...

Well he'll be around here for a few more years. I'm sure I'll see him again!

This is to you babe.

Travel safe.

Update: He arrived safe and sound in Oki.

Bed time

2008-08-13T00:04:00.001+08:00

Did plan to write an entry tonight. But I'm just toooooo tired to function. So good night y'all!

Bernie Mac R.I.P.

2008-08-11T21:40:00.002+08:00

He left, just like that. He was only 50. He was funny. He was genius as a comedian. Bernie Mac passed away last Saturday due to pneumonia...

I just found out he was dead reading our local chinese newspaper... When I saw the little column, I kept repeating oh my god oh my god. I knew he was in the hospital, totally didn't see this coming... We've seen his comedy standups, we've seen his sitcom, we've seen him in movies. R.I.P. you will always be remembered.

He was from Chicago.

Sunday II

2008-08-10T22:17:00.002+08:00

Uh huh! I am back! Before I said anything, my pod is sick... How can an ipod be sick? He is not responding to me... =( Worst yet, I don't have money to replace him. So now, I'm blogging with no MUSIC!

*Update: my pod calmed down and he's back to work. ^^

Anywho, the Macaroni and Cheese is a success. It's the kind from scratch not from a Kraft box. LOL. Everyone loved it. =) I am happy enough.

Tension is building up because my work is not done. Yet, I'm wondering if I should see my baby tomorrow. Hmm... What is this work all about anyways? I am lost. On another thought, my hair is getting so long. The image of me changing job flashes through my mind countless times. Mankind's true self is so ugly, I want to puke. People lied with they eyes wide open, someone like Tang (a grown ass man). Honesty and fairness??? When I heard those words came out from his mouth, I wanted to bust out laughing. How dare he used the word honesty and fairness, total bull. Honest to who? or was it your selective fairness??

Wow wow wow, this entry went from happy to pissed off! My thought flew over to Chicago, thinking wouldn't it be nice to have spent my 2008 summer there? It would have been my third (or was it fourth?) year living in the most beautiful city. A lot of you might not like how America is... However, it has a special place in my heart. Always.

See how my mood fluctuates? Scary. That's why I need my baby to tame the bitch inside me. My baby will not allow me to act up. =) Gosh, my hair is getting longer!!!! Maybe I should keep it til it hits my waist. About six more inches to go, I think... Hehehe.

Will end this now and make it an early night for me.

Adios!